Welcome: January 2023

Tuesday, January 31, 2023

Body Language

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on October 28, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

I am fascinated by a new television advertisement for mobile (cell) phone services. In the ad, a group of potential customers puts a representative of a major, national phone company through her paces as they ask about various communications features that the company offers. Viewers are led to infer that the prospective customers are real-estate agents, because each of them is professionally rand sports a tan blazer with a large emblem of a house on the left side of the jacket. The group pretty much verifies the identity of their vocation when one of the women says, “Let’s close!” and they all cross their arms over their chest and grin. But it is what the customers and the sales representative say with their bodies throughout the ad that is of greatest interest to me.

Throughout the ad, the phone-company representative matches every physical and facial gesture that her prospective clients make. As a customer’s voice lilts at the end of a question, the salesperson uses a similar lilt in her response. When one person points a finger to make a point, the sales rep makes the same movement during her explanation. Someone steeples her fingers across her midsection; the sales rep makes the same gesture. Another person in the group nods and raises her eyebrows; so does the sales rep. When the camera pans back a little, viewers can see that she has even adopted a similar stance as she stands with the customers. At the end of the advertisement when one of the customers crosses her arms and announces they will all take (“close”) the deal, her colleagues look at her and immediately imitate the crossed-arms gesture.

I like this ad because it is such a fabulous demonstration of how people mirror someone’s behavior in order to build rapport with someone. If your job entails selling products or services, you probably recognized every sales technique depicted in the advertisement I just described. You don’t have to be a salesperson or a customer to identify with what went on. We mirror each other’s various behaviors—facial expressions, physical gestures, patterns of speech—all the time, often without realizing that we are doing it. These actions are like a “fast track” to building rapport with someone you would like to get to know better. People are naturally attracted to others who behave or seem to think like they do.

Think about a conversation you have had recently: Did you nod at some point during the conversation or lean forward in your seat as if to listen to your companion’s words even more closely? And did your companion then lean his or her body closer to yours, return your nod or mirror a hand movement that you were previously unaware of having made? Did you notice when your spouse or friend took a step forward, backwards or sideways to mirror your stance, or raised or lowered his or her voice to match the tone of yours? These are examples of mirroring, and mirroring is a subconscious (or conscious) behavior that creates rapport and can facilitate social bonds by reinforcing similarity or familiarity between you. Rapport is an inherent and necessary component of every kind of relationship; it is the cornerstone upon which every relationship is built. It is only when we establish rapport with someone are we likely to explore the similarities and differences between us, and know whether we want to spend the time and energy to create a social, romantic, or professional relationship with that person. Without rapport, we cannot come to trust, respect, like or communicate well with him or her, and a relationship—or a successful sale—is unlikely to result from the interaction.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call or text me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation* today!

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

Monday, January 30, 2023

80/20 Ratio

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on April 5, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

There is an unwritten guideline in hypnotherapy that the client should do most talking (about 80 percent) compared to listening to the therapist, while the hypnotherapist will do the most listening compared to talking (20 percent). Furthermore, during hypnotherapy, it is the client’s “responsibility” to describe the motivations for seeking this therapy, desires about changing an unwanted behavior and to express emotions about and during this therapeutic process. Similarly, it is the hypnotherapist’s “responsibility” to listen to what the client is saying and use this information to create an effective hypnotic script that will facilitate the achievement of the person’s therapeutic goals. This policy is very important for several reasons.

First, when someone comes in for hypnotherapy, that individual is not only looking for a possible solution to help change an unwanted belief or behavior. The person is also subconsciously looking for and needs a space in which to vent his or her emotions—a sounding board, if you will—to explain how and why the habit started in the first place. The last thing the client needs is to wonder if the expert from whom he or she is seeking help is somehow subtly dismissing those concerns by comparing them to the hypnotherapist’s own issues. At that point, the client would be justified in wondering whether the therapist’s problems might be more significant than his or her own. This is also the point at which rapport and trust are destroyed.

Second, especially during the cognitive (alert and aware) portion of the hypnotherapy session, the hypnotherapist needs to focus on what the client is saying to create the hypnotic script. This script is based on the key words, metaphors and even emotions that the client expresses to describe his or her self-improvement goals and motivations. During the cognitive portion of the first session, I reassure my hypnotherapy clients that they will essentially hypnotize themselves based on the words and motivations to change an unwanted behavior, which I incorporate into the hypnotic script. As I explain in my previous blog titled Creating Your Hypnotic Script, we are all most suggestible to ourselves. Conversely, if the hypnotherapist does most of the talking, the hypnotic script is less likely to be effective because the client’s subconscious mind does not recognize these motivational words, phrases, and images as his or her own.

Third, unlike traditional forms of psychotherapy such as licensed marriage and family therapy, psychology and licensed social work or even psychiatry hypnotherapy is not “talk therapy.” According to the Business and Professions Code 2908, hypnotherapists must provide hypnosis during the therapeutic session. In addition, they must also seek a referral from these professionals if a client wants to address an issue outside of the scope of hypnotherapy. Our role as hypnotherapists is to help our clients find solutions to problems and achieve vocational and avocational goals by working with the subconscious mind in hypnosis, not discussing these issues in a cognitive, alert and aware state.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Thursday, January 26, 2023

Never Say "Never"

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

This blog was originally posted on January 29, 2014

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

When I was at college, my friends used to joke, “Never say ‘never’, because that is an absolute guarantee you will do what you say you will never do!” Oh, how prescient that advice turned out to be. Now, I understand why.

The subconscious mind does not understand irony. It does not get a joke. It will try to fulfill whatever messages it receives. Whatever you say or think, it takes literally and conveniently ignores terms such as never, not, won’t and can’t. For example, I occasionally make the mistake of thinking or saying to myself, “I will not fall off my horse today.” Guess what? I do fall—or come very close to it. Some people might say those are examples of a self-fulfilling prophecy, but isn’t a self-fulfilling prophecy an example of a person behaving in a specific way to achieve the subconscious mind’s goal—essentially, a subconscious mental script that we have been following all of our lives?

When I work with my hypnotherapy clients, I teach them how to frame (or re-frame, as the case may be) their thoughts and self-talk so they are always giving themselves a positive message or suggestion. Rather than say, “I can’t be late for this meeting!” tell yourself, “I will leave five minutes earlier so I will be on time for my meeting.” Or, in the context of my first example, I now tell myself, “I am a strong rider. I can stay on my horse and have a good ride.”

Your subconscious mind will work just as hard to fulfill a positive goal as it will to achieve a negative one, so why not set it up for success, right from the start?

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Tuesday, January 24, 2023

All About the Mental Bank Concept

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on September 4, 2019)

According to John Kappas, Ph.D. everyone follows a subconscious mental script. This script is created very early in our lives, and we will behave and even think in ways that are consistent with it even when the script does not facilitate achievement of our personal goals. Fortunately, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder created The Mental Bank Concept, which posits that each of us can change the script from what we are, to what we want to or should be.

In addition to the intended benefit of changing our mental script, he promised that by doing the ledger we would also start to earn more money, or even receive monetary gifts to boost our real income. I clearly remember the inference in current HMI Director George Kappas’s challenge to the class as he speculated about how many people would actually spend two minutes each night before bed writing in our Mental Bank Ledger. After all, is two minutes’ of writing before falling asleep too big a sacrifice to make to improve your life, especially when your efforts for self-improvement are measured by earning more money in the process? When the class broke up for a break, I was one of the first people in the room to rush down the corridor to purchase a ledger.

This is how the Mental Bank Concept works: Each night, right before you go to bed, you will allocate a value (symbolic money) to specific behaviors, activities or events that have occurred during the day. You can “pay” yourself for going to work, working out at the gym/exercising, spending time with your family, attending a religious service of your denomination, etc. It doesn’t matter what the activity is so long as they reflect your efforts to change your subconscious mental script and achieve your new, positive behavior or goals. Then, you will write an affirmation to reinforce these behaviors and encourage you to continue to make these changes.

In creating the Mental Bank Concept, Dr. Kappas intended that people write in the ledger just before going to sleep because this is one of the times during the day that we are most suggestible, or amenable to learning. (The other time is the first 30 minutes after waking up in the morning.) The suggestions for the desired behavioral change will bypass the critical mind and drop right into the subconscious mind; the SCM will continue to process these thoughts and behavioral changes throughout the night, he explained.

Although this process is very simple, many adults are very reluctant (subconscious resistance) to change their lives using the Mental Bank Concept, Dr. Kappas observed. “Only 30 percent of adults will ever change their original script. Everyone else passes the pattern on. To change the behavior, you must change the subconscious script,” he warned.

I have been following the Mental Bank Concept since 2004, and it does work. The more subconscious and conscious work I do to achieve my goals, the more self-confident I feel every time I accomplish one and the greater the tangential (monetary) rewards I receive. For more information about The Mental Bank Concept, check out this video link.

Contact me today at (661) 433-9430 or send e-mail to calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up an appointment to experience how hypnotherapy and the Mental Bank Concept can help you achieve your goals. I will provide your first Mental Bank Ledger to help you get you started!

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Thursday, January 19, 2023

Marketing and Promoting Hypnotherapy

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on May 9, 2014)

Someone recently contacted me to find out more information about hypnotherapy and whether hypnosis could help him to achieve a particular goal. We chatted for a while, and I gave him some information about hypnotherapy and how I use hypnosis and therapeutic guided imagery to help my clients achieve various vocational and avocational self-improvement goals. At the end of our conversation, he wanted to know where he could read more information about my experience as a certified hypnotherapist so he could make a decision about whether to give hypnotherapy a try. I gave him my business card and brochure and referred him to the website for my company, Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, so he could read more about me and what I do.

After we said goodbye, I thought about our conversation in the context of the best and most effective ways to disseminate information not just about my practice but hypnosis and hypnotherapy in general. Even though it is becoming a more mainstream therapy, I am aware that people are still a little wary about hypnosis. They want to know if they will become vulnerable to some kind of mind control or manipulation while they are in hypnosis. Will they do or say something stupid or embarrassing, or break a confidence or reveal a bank password while they are in-state? (The answer is no, no, no and no.) But the fact that these concerns remain prevalent suggests to me that my colleagues and I need to continue to share the facts and dispel the myths about what we do.

One of the best ways to do this is through conversations with people about what we do. Here are some suggestions for the most effective ways that I have found to share this information:

Advertise and write blogs/articles: I limit my advertising budget to a few equestrian-themed publications. However, I write a hypnotherapy-themed blog just about every night to keep spreading the word about the many ways hypnosis and John Kappas, Ph.D.’s model, Theory of Mind, are generally relevant to daily life. I specifically tailor the topics of my essays to illustrate how the therapeutic techniques I learned or behaviors I studied during my training and continuing education at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute are relevant to my (and your!) daily life. I let people know when I have written a new blog by posting a short “announcement” about it on Twitter, LinkedIn and on my personal and business Facebook accounts. I also provide a link that will take you directly to the blog on my website.
Business cards and brochures: These are still among the most effective (and immediate) ways to promote your practice. I always carry business cards with me to give out. I have “rented” space at my local tack store to display my cards for prospective equestrian clients. I also leave a business card on the condiment table every time I go to Starbucks®.
Donate hypnotherapy session(s) or handwriting analysis: Hypnotherapy sessions and/or formal handwriting analyses are unusual (and intriguing) prizes in a silent-auction or raffle at a fundraiser or social event. The best way for people to learn about hypnosis is to experience it. I recently donated a free hypnotherapy session with me as a silent-auction prize for a horse rescue in Leona Valley, California; to raise awareness about the package and market my practice, I spent a wonderful afternoon doing handwriting analyses for guests at the event, as well.
Volunteer your time and skills to support local organizations: In addition to introducing your work to people who may not know about hypnotherapy, volunteering is a wonderful way to provide this valuable service to those who might not otherwise be able to experience it for themselves. I have previously led a free monthly relaxation/guided-imagery workshop at Circle of Hope, Inc. and Hope’s Haven Cancer Wellness Center, a 501(c) cancer-support group based in Santa Clarita, California.
Dress code: Hypnotherapists, as therapists, follow professional codes of ethics and conduct. Wear clothes that best represent what you do as a therapist and your commitment to this work of helping your clients achieve their goals. Wearing your name badge while running errands, etc. is another great way to market your profession.
Marketing materials: When I am out running errands on the weekend, I typically wear a baseball cap with my company name and website on it. I want people to ask me about the words they are reading so I can tell them about what I do and how hypnosis is an effective tool to help people change undesired behaviors.
Network in the community: Introduce yourself to local chiropractors, masseuses, hairstylists, yoga instructors, your bank, dry cleaners, etc. Let people know what you do, where you are located and how much you charge for your sessions. Even other hypnotherapists can be a great source of referrals if you specialize in different areas than they do: e.g., hypnosis to improve sports performance versus smoking cessation. This morning on my way to a meeting at a local Starbucks® I approached two firefighters who were parked nearby to ask if I could buy them a coffee in thanks for all they are doing to combat the fires in the community. At the end of the conversation, I also gave them each a business card.
Professional affiliations: Keep up your professional affiliations, such as the American Hypnosis Association, the Hypnotherapists Union, your local chamber of commerce, etc. In addition to providing professional support these organizations will often “link” your website with theirs. (Be sure to return the favor!)
Professional and client referrals: At some point in our career as a hypnotherapist, we may need to refer a client to a licensed medical doctor or mental health worker for further evaluation or to provide assistance that is out of our scope of expertise. Similarly, once the physician has ruled out any medical causes of his patient’s headache, he may refer the patient to you as a hypnotherapy client so you can help him manage the stress that causes his pain. Previous and current clients are also excellent referrals!
Promote your practice through social media: I am active on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn, and I write posts about various topics. Of course, I have provided information about my practice, Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, on these accounts. However, it is not necessary to “talk shop” all the time to get attention for your practice. Several of my Twitter followers have become specifically interested in what I do, but only after we had been communicating about our mutual interests for many months.
Website: A good website goes a long, long way to “market” you to a wide population. Be sure to update the site periodically by posting new client referrals, updating your professional certifications and even changing the photographs or design to refresh the search programs.
Honors and Special Recognition: I have been voted “Best Hypnotherapist” in Santa Clarita four years in a row: 2019, 2020, 2021 and 2022. Each year, usually in the late Spring or early Summer, the Santa Clarita Valley Signal identifies local businesses as the “best of” across various categories based on nominations and votes cast by SCV citizens. I am so grateful to current and former clients, and other businesses in the community who have recognized me this way as I continue to provide hypnotherapy to help people achieve their vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.
Finally, another great way to generate interest in your hypnotherapy practice is to provide special discounts for your services. For example, you can promote “special deals” to coincide with the anniversary of the creation of your practice, to kick off a holiday or a season, etc., or to promote a new therapeutic technique. This is the promotion I am currently offering:

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Wednesday, January 18, 2023

When Denial Causes Sleeping Problems

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on September 13, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Have you ever had problems sleeping after ending a romantic relationship? If so, you are not alone. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., continuing to hold onto the former partner and unresolved grief about the ended relationship is often the cause of this problem.

Sleeping problems can take the form of interrupted sleep or insomnia. The hypnotherapist deduced that denial of the emotional and even physical pain an individual can experience at the end of a relationship produces this sleep pattern. Indeed, this behavior may be a subconscious defense mechanism to interrupt a dream that would confirm the relationship is really over. “Denial covers up depression, and you’re really covering up depressive sleep,” Dr. Kappas explained.

Sometimes, it is only until some time has passed after a relationship has ended that a person truly realizes that it is over, the hypnotherapist explained. Continuing to “hang onto” an emotional attachment to the former partner inhibits or even prevents going through the grief and depression stages of loss that would facilitate letting go of the relationship. In this situation, the person is likely to get stuck in the denial stage of this process.

“As long as you’re in the denial stage, it’s next to impossible to replace [the lost relationship]. You have to go through the stages of loss in order to go forward and start developing another relationship,” Dr. Kappas said. To facilitate this process, he advised giving a client specific suggestions to have a venting dream that will allow the person to release, or “vent out,” unresolved feelings and work through the end of the former relationship: “You’re going to sleep soundly and deeply throughout the night, and the reason you’re going to sleep soundly and deeply is that you’re going to prepare to let something go. You’ve made a decision that you’re going to relax the denial mechanism on [the specified date].”

Dr. Kappas said it is important to include a specific date by which the client has the venting dream, such as to coincide with the next (follow-up) hypnotherapy session, to start working through the various stages of loss. This process should help reinstate the person’s normal sleeping pattern and come to terms with the end of the previous relationship, he explained.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

The Pattern Interrupt

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on March 13, 2014)

Image courtesy of Microsoft

The subconscious mind controls almost all of our beliefs and behavior. Therefore, the subconscious mental script for an entrenched habit will overpower the conscious mind’s logic, will-power, decision-making and reasoning faculties that want to change this habit every time. When I help a client to change a behavior in hypnotherapy, I utilize a technique called “pattern interrupt.” The purpose of the pattern interrupt is to give the SCM a time out while the individual engages in something completely different for a little while. Through this exercise, the client experiences how it feels to have the power and control to choose whether to engage in an activity that has been controlling his or her life.

When I work with someone to change a behavior, such as to quit smoking or lose weight, I first ask what specifically triggers the undesired behavior, and how he or she handles this kind of temptation. Next, we discuss options for dealing with the trigger without engaging in the unwanted behavior. It is important that the person comes up with these alternative behaviors in order for the client to remain motivated and enthusiastic about working to achieve his or her goal. The pattern interrupt should be simple and easy to do, whether it is taking ten slow, deep breaths instead of lighting a cigarette; drinking a glass of water instead of a can of soda; take the dog for a walk instead of playing a computer game. I will also reinforce these options as hypnotic suggestions so the subconscious mind will also start to recognize these new activities as “known” behaviors.

Every time you choose to do the replacement activity, even for just a couple of seconds, you are reinforcing a new behavior and creating a new known in the SCM. The great thing about the pattern interrupt is that anyone can do this. You don’t need to be in hypnosis or to have received a post-hypnotic suggestion to substitute an unwanted behavior. When temptation strikes, you just need to do something else for a little while… just long enough for the craving to subside and your subconscious mind to forget, for a little while, that this behavior ever existed, at all.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Monday, January 16, 2023

Power Breathing

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on August 30, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Breathing—especially diaphragmatic breathing—is one of the most natural and basic things that you can do to relax and calm down during a stressful situation. Power breathing is an effective technique to release/force out negative emotions you associate with that situation, event or even a person.

These techniques are similar in that both entail taking deep breaths of air through the nose and holding the air in the lungs for a few seconds before releasing it through the mouth. In power breathing, however, the air is released more forcefully, often with a “whoosh” sound, as if you are blowing out a very large candle. I find that imagery of Old Faithful’s steamy eruption or the sound and sight of the mist produced when whales or dolphins breathe on the surface of the ocean are useful for this exercise. Other good metaphors include a tornado, the power of a wind tunnel or even a volcano; it is completely up to you which imagery—if any—to use when you practice this technique.

The important and therapeutic aspect of this technique is that you associate the forceful release of your breath with symbolically, forcefully releasing those negative emotions or events, etc., you associate with holding back or impeding your personal growth. It doesn’t matter if you identify specific stressors to release (Physical Sexual/Physical Suggestible) or simply recognize them as a generic category of “everything that bothers me.” (An Emotional Sexual/Emotional Suggestible individual is more likely to do this.) The important thing is that you are allowing yourself to release—even force out—those negative associations this way. The force with which you let go of these things physically strengthens this intention in the conscious mind. The fact that these negative associations are being released on the exhale—a natural process of every breath we take—reinforces this intention in the subconscious mind.

It is a great breathing technique to help release stress and tension when you are stuck in rush-hour traffic, too!

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Thursday, January 12, 2023

Passive-Aggressiveness and Fear of Success

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on July 10, 2014)

Photo by Sara Fogan

Passive-aggressive behavior is one of the most common ways that we sabotage ourselves. According to developmental psychologist Erik Erikson, it usually starts very early in life: between the ages of 3 and 6 years old (although as young as 18 months is possible). During this time, which Erikson characterized as the play-age/loco-motor stage of development, a child is learning the difference between right and wrong behavior, on his or her way to learning to become independent.

To facilitate healthy development at this stage, Erikson believed that children should be encouraged to be creative and use their imagination when they play. In addition, they should be allowed to play adult roles and assert their individuality by taking initiative and doing things on their own. Otherwise, they may develop a sense of guilt and believe that everything they do is “wrong.” When children are not allowed or is discouraged from expressing their feelings, they may try to punish their parents for causing this discomfort. When they continue this behavior as adults, however, they become the object of this punishment, Erikson warned.

“A passive-aggressive person first believes that asserting himself will cause him pain, so he backs off from people who challenge him,” John Kappas, Ph.D., explained. However, even if the individual initially seems very passive and cooperative, the objective in this behavior is to teach someone a lesson. Passive-aggression is self-sabotaging and is at the passive-aggressive person’s expense, such as quitting a job before being fired, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute explained.

For example, even if a person wants to have a successful career in a specific vocation, he or she may find reasons to not pursue this goal. The individual may decide that it is taking too long to achieve that goal, even though the person is already very good at this job. It may even be true that he or she could earn more money doing something else instead of wasting precious time learning pre-requisite skills to advance and achieve the desired career. But that is what the conscious mind—the area of will-power/free will, decision-making, reasoning and logic—says. This is what the subconscious mind, which still follows an early-life mental script, says: “You will never be good/talented/smart enough to do that.” This belief is the actual reason why the person will walk away from that “dream” job.

My role as this person’s hypnotherapist would be to change his or her subconscious mental script by helping to increase self-confidence and perception of self-worth. I would also help the individual change the passive-aggressive tendencies to assertiveness by setting realistic career goals, following through with goals and reinforcing the person’s new self-confidence (behaviors and beliefs). Finally, I would teach my client about the Mental Bank Concept and incorporate it in the person’s daily life to reinforce these new behaviors and perception (belief) of self-worth.

For more information about passive-aggressive behavior, read my blog titled “Passive-Aggressive Behavior.” You can also find out more about how the Mental Bank process works in my July 7, 2014 blog titled Introduction to the Mental Bank Concept or watch the free online video about this topic at http://www.hypnosis.edu/streaming/#Mental-Bank-Program.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.