Defense
mechanisms are strategies to cope with a stressful situation in our lives.
Furthermore, at some point in our lives almost everyone uses one to ameliorate
an undesirable reaction to an unpleasant circumstance. However, these defense
mechanisms provide us only a temporary perception of control over the environment.
Eventually, we have to deal with and resolve the primary issue that has
triggered the defense mechanism in order to achieve personal growth.
A common defense
mechanism for handling a distressing situation is to direct our attention and
project blame for our emotions about the stressful situation onto other people.
For example, an individual may accuse a colleague of “hating” her for no reason
when the accuser is the person who actually holds the negative feelings toward
that other woman (projection). Or, a
man who is tempted to be unfaithful in a relationship may suspect or even blame
his spouse of infidelity (projection
identification). Why go to these extremes and just admit the truth?
These
(and all other) defense mechanisms share four common traits: 1) they are
unconscious; 2) they are self-deceptive; 3) they contain elements of denial; 4)
they distort reality through thoughts and action. Their primarily role is to
protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain.” In
this case, the pain would be caused by our peers negatively judging our
attitudes or behavior that contradicts acceptable beliefs or behaviors: e.g.,
unethical behavior or unacceptable feelings toward others. Rather than risk
this negative response, accusing someone else of engaging in the undesirable
behavior not only protects us but may even attract further (and deeper)
acceptance and support from our social group.
According to
John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, we are all subconsciously motivated to
maintain and/or restore a known physical
and emotional status of comfort and security. In this case, social acceptance
represents pleasure, whereas criticism and potential rejection from our peers
are pain. Since the SCM is motivated and even programmed to seek the pleasure
stimuli, we may adopt these defense mechanisms to literally “defend” against
potential social rejection (pain). By creating an imagined scenario such as perceived
persecution by a peer or spousal infidelity, the SCM enables us to rail
against an imagined threat to help control the unwanted emotions we feel at
that moment.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense
Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2014
