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| Photo by Rick Hustead |
Have you ever
had problems sleeping after ending a romantic relationship? If so, you are not
alone. According to Hypnosis Motivation
Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.,
continuing to hold onto the former partner and unresolved grief
about the ended relationship is often the cause of this problem.
Sleeping
problems can take the form of interrupted sleep or insomnia.
The hypnotherapist deduced that denial of the emotional and even physical pain
an individual can experience at the end of a relationship produces this sleep
pattern. Indeed, this behavior may be a subconscious defense mechanism to
interrupt a dream that would confirm the relationship is really over. “Denial
covers up depression, and you’re really covering up depressive
sleep,” Dr. Kappas explained.
Sometimes, it
is only until some time has passed after a relationship has ended that a person
truly realizes that it is over, the hypnotherapist explained. Continuing to “hang
onto” an emotional attachment to the former partner inhibits or even prevents going
through the grief and depression stages of loss that would facilitate letting
go of the relationship. In this situation, the person is likely to get stuck in
the denial stage of this process.
“As long as you’re
in the denial stage, it’s next to impossible to replace [the lost
relationship]. You have to go through the stages of loss in order to go forward
and start developing another relationship,” Dr. Kappas said. To facilitate this
process, he advised giving a client specific suggestions to have a venting dream that will allow the person to release, or "vent out," unresolved feelings and work through the end of the former relationship. “You’re
going to sleep soundly and deeply throughout the night, and the reason you’re
going to sleep soundly and deeply is that you’re going to prepare to let
something go. You’ve made a decision that you’re going to relax the denial
mechanism on [the specified date].”
Dr. Kappas said
it is important to include a specific date by which the client has the venting
dream, such as to coincide with the next (follow-up) hypnotherapy session, to
start working through the various stages of loss. This process should help reinstate
the person’s normal sleeping pattern and come to terms with the end of the
previous relationship, he explained.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based
in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about
Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2016
