(This blog was originally posted on October 17,
2014)
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| Photo courtesy of Microsoft |
Most
of us have traditions. Perhaps you always take your kids to spend a couple of
weeks at the beach each summer. Maybe your mom serves stuffing according to her grandma’s recipe at every Thanksgiving
feast. Many people participate in individual or team sports, and enjoy watching
these activities on television after a holiday meal (e.g., football games on
Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day). I know several people who share the same
profession as their parents and even grandparents. Have you ever wondered why these
behaviors are repeated? I have. My answer: Theory of Mind.
Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D. stated that the
subconscious part of the mind likes and wants to do what is familiar (known)
because familiarity represents “safety” and comfort. He proposed that human
behavior is based on the subconscious mental scripts that we create during
early childhood, whereby the SCM is accumulating and storing various message
units that will ultimately comprise the subconscious life script. Each message
is ultimately categorized as a positive (pleasure) or negative (pain)
experience, and anything that the subconscious mind does not recognize falls
under the category of “pain.” Consequently, the SCM often resists doing
anything new or different even when the logic, reason, will-power/free-will and
reasoning faculties of the conscious mind says that it’s okay (safe) to do so.
We repeat certain behaviors and/or continue to hold particular beliefs that we
already know because these are familiar and comfortable or even convenient to
perpetuate. These behaviors are the basis of Dr. Kappas’s Theory of Mind.
I know, I know.
I make at least a passing reference to this concept in virtually every one of
my blogs, but that is because I find examples of it in virtually everything I
do and/or observe. The premise of this model is so simple, so logical: observe
a behavior, learn and repeat that action and finally model/teach it to someone
else. Traditions are a great example of this pattern. For example, imagine you
learned—probably from a very young age—that your mom’s grandmother’s recipe
for Thanksgiving stuffing is the very best ever. As a child of four or
five you probably didn’t have an opportunity to try other people’s version of
this dish. However, the people in your environment kept praising it—especially
Mom, who was likely your primary caretaker and to whom you are particularly suggestible—and
you adopted that belief as your own. You know that one day you will prepare
that dish at Thanksgiving to carry on your mother’s grandmother’s holiday
tradition.
Or,
when it came time to think about getting a career you found yourself gravitating
to a similar vocation as one or both of your parents. I have several friends
who ultimately became a teacher like their parents. Another friend’s spouse is
a law-enforcement officer, as are this person’s father-in-law and a couple of
uncles. I love to spend time and vacation in the mountains because when I was a
very little girl, my family used to spend a couple of weeks at a property near
Big Bear every summer. I have very happy memories (positive knowns) of that
environment and would love to spend more time there or someplace like it. And
speaking of sports, not only are brothers Peyton Manning
and Eli Manning quarterback
football players on NFL teams, their dad, Archie Manning, is
a former NFL quarterback, too!
Consider your “traditions”
for a moment. What things do you do day in and day out without much thought? Do
you know where, when, why and how they came about? The answer(s) may surprise
you.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about
Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
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