Actress
Bette Davis famously said, “Aging ain’t for sissies.” Often, the body isn’t
what it was during the blush of youth: it is more challenging to get and remain
fit, joints get stiff, hearing and vision start to fade. We become more
vulnerable to physical illness, injury and chronic disease. With age comes the
responsibility of being an adult, always having to—or feeling like we must—make
the best and most mature (sensible) choice at the expense of living out our
whims or desires. But having said all that, I believe that with age come the invaluable
gifts of wisdom, compassion, patience and respect that only years of life
experience can bestow.
For
many of us, when we are very little, the only thing we want to do is to grow
up. Fast. We believe (know) that we are older than whatever
our chronological age happens to be and therefore should be entitled to the
privileges that the older kids enjoyed. Things like our first 10-speed bicycle,
a later bedtime and curfew, a driver’s license and the right to vote. But when
the magical year arrives when we can theoretically enjoy that privilege the
reality of those long-awaited promises don’t always live up to our
expectations. We get a 10-speed bicycle (yay!) on our tenth birthday, but since
we have to ride it to school we lose some interest in riding it for recreation.
We get our driving license on our sixteenth birthday, but when our parents say
we can only have a car on the condition of driving our younger sibling(s)
around, the excitement about driving is replaced with frustration. It is
exciting to be able to vote in presidential elections, but the act of voting also
means we are likely to be summoned for jury duty soon after.
As
the years go by and life marches on, we wonder where all of this time has gone.
Somehow, during the years between finishing high school to graduating college, getting
our first job, starting a family to now, we
have become someone whose reflection we don’t necessarily recognize in the mirror. We think
about friendships and romances, goals that were achieved and projects that
never got off the ground. Over time, the brightness, or clarity of each of those
memories and the emotions we associate with them have transformed from their Technicolor
vivacity to the more subdued hues of experience. The really wonderful and even
some not-so-wonderful events that we have experienced during our lifetime alternately
tested our ability to celebrate or adapt to and thrive in just about every
situation or environment in which we have found ourselves.
These days, when
I look back on my life and plan for the future, I contemplate my previous
experiences not just through the lens of 20/20 hindsight but also in the
context of the subconscious knowns
that motivated me, then. I consider those beliefs and behaviors, who or what
influenced me to adopt them, and evaluate whether and how those knowns affect
my actions today. I know that if I don’t like the direction in which my life is
heading that I have the power to change and improve my path, if and when I want
to. As Ms. Davis observed, growing up and getting older can be challenging in
many ways. However, each one of us possesses the wisdom we have gained just by
living and experiencing life to ensure that getting older continues to bring us
as much joy and excitement as we felt when we were younger...or, at any age.
Sara
R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern
California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2014
