When Denial Causes Sleeping Problems

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on September 13, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

Have you ever had problems sleeping after ending a romantic relationship? If so, you are not alone. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., continuing to hold onto the former partner and unresolved grief about the ended relationship is often the cause of this problem.

Sleeping problems can take the form of interrupted sleep or insomnia. The hypnotherapist deduced that denial of the emotional and even physical pain an individual can experience at the end of a relationship produces this sleep pattern. Indeed, this behavior may be a subconscious defense mechanism to interrupt a dream that would confirm the relationship is really over. “Denial covers up depression, and you’re really covering up depressive sleep,” Dr. Kappas explained.

Sometimes, it is only until some time has passed after a relationship has ended that a person truly realizes that it is over, the hypnotherapist explained. Continuing to “hang onto” an emotional attachment to the former partner inhibits or even prevents going through the grief and depression stages of loss that would facilitate letting go of the relationship. In this situation, the person is likely to get stuck in the denial stage of this process.

“As long as you’re in the denial stage, it’s next to impossible to replace [the lost relationship]. You have to go through the stages of loss in order to go forward and start developing another relationship,” Dr. Kappas said. To facilitate this process, he advised giving a client specific suggestions to have a venting dream that will allow the person to release, or “vent out,” unresolved feelings and work through the end of the former relationship: “You’re going to sleep soundly and deeply throughout the night, and the reason you’re going to sleep soundly and deeply is that you’re going to prepare to let something go. You’ve made a decision that you’re going to relax the denial mechanism on [the specified date].”

Dr. Kappas said it is important to include a specific date by which the client has the venting dream, such as to coincide with the next (follow-up) hypnotherapy session, to start working through the various stages of loss. This process should help reinstate the person’s normal sleeping pattern and come to terms with the end of the previous relationship, he explained.

 

 

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call or text me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation* today! 

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

When Denial Causes Sleep Problems

(This blog was originally posted on September 13, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Have you ever had problems sleeping after ending a romantic relationship? If so, you are not alone. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., continuing to hold onto the former partner and unresolved grief about the ended relationship is often the cause of this problem. 

Sleeping problems can take the form of interrupted sleep or insomnia. The hypnotherapist deduced that denial of the emotional and even physical pain an individual can experience at the end of a relationship produces this sleep pattern. Indeed, this behavior may be a subconscious defense mechanism to interrupt a dream that would confirm the relationship is really over. “Denial covers up depression, and you’re really covering up depressive sleep,” Dr. Kappas explained.

Sometimes, it is only until some time has passed after a relationship has ended that a person truly realizes that it is over, the hypnotherapist explained. Continuing to “hang onto” an emotional attachment to the former partner inhibits or even prevents going through the grief and depression stages of loss that would facilitate letting go of the relationship. In this situation, the person is likely to get stuck in the denial stage of this process.

“As long as you’re in the denial stage, it’s next to impossible to replace [the lost relationship]. You have to go through the stages of loss in order to go forward and start developing another relationship,” Dr. Kappas said. To facilitate this process, he advised giving a client specific suggestions to have a venting dream that will allow the person to release, or “vent out,” unresolved feelings and work through the end of the former relationship: “You’re going to sleep soundly and deeply throughout the night, and the reason you’re going to sleep soundly and deeply is that you’re going to prepare to let something go. You’ve made a decision that you’re going to relax the denial mechanism on [the specified date].”

Dr. Kappas said it is important to include a specific date by which the client has the venting dream, such as to coincide with the next (follow-up) hypnotherapy session, to start working through the various stages of loss. This process should help reinstate the person’s normal sleeping pattern and come to terms with the end of the previous relationship, he explained.

Special offer for Active/Retired First Responders and Military Personnel

 Special Offer: 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, E.R. physicians/nurses).

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019

When Denial Causes Sleep Problems

(This blog was originally posted on September 13, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Have you ever had problems sleeping after ending a romantic relationship? If so, you are not alone. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., continuing to hold onto the former partner and unresolved grief about the ended relationship is often the cause of this problem. 

Sleeping problems can take the form of interrupted sleep or insomnia. The hypnotherapist deduced that denial of the emotional and even physical pain an individual can experience at the end of a relationship produces this sleep pattern. Indeed, this behavior may be a subconscious defense mechanism to interrupt a dream that would confirm the relationship is really over. “Denial covers up depression, and you’re really covering up depressive sleep,” Dr. Kappas explained.

Sometimes, it is only until some time has passed after a relationship has ended that a person truly realizes that it is over, the hypnotherapist explained. Continuing to “hang onto” an emotional attachment to the former partner inhibits or even prevents going through the grief and depression stages of loss that would facilitate letting go of the relationship. In this situation, the person is likely to get stuck in the denial stage of this process.

“As long as you’re in the denial stage, it’s next to impossible to replace [the lost relationship]. You have to go through the stages of loss in order to go forward and start developing another relationship,” Dr. Kappas said. To facilitate this process, he advised giving a client specific suggestions to have a venting dream that will allow the person to release, or “vent out,” unresolved feelings and work through the end of the former relationship: “You’re going to sleep soundly and deeply throughout the night, and the reason you’re going to sleep soundly and deeply is that you’re going to prepare to let something go. You’ve made a decision that you’re going to relax the denial mechanism on [the specified date].”

Dr. Kappas said it is important to include a specific date by which the client has the venting dream, such as to coincide with the next (follow-up) hypnotherapy session, to start working through the various stages of loss. This process should help reinstate the person’s normal sleeping pattern and come to terms with the end of the previous relationship, he explained.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Hypnotherapy and Insomnia

(This blog was originally posted on March 12, 2014)

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

      Insomnia is described as an inability to sleep through the night. It may be manifested as a difficulty falling asleep or waking up frequently during the night so the person does not have a restful sleep. Physiological causes of insomnia can include hunger or a drop in blood-sugar level. However, the most common cause of insomnia is worry, which makes this condition one of the easiest behavior problems to treat, said Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.

      When I work with a client to improve the person’s quality and quantity of sleep, the first thing I do is to help the person enter a deeply relaxed state of calm and comfort. When the individual is in hypnosis, I help him or her to deepen this sensation of comfort and dozy relaxation through breathing and progressive relaxation exercises. I also establish one or two physical anchors (e.g., the finger press) that the person can use to activate this relaxed, dozy relaxation when the person climbs into bed for sleep. I incorporate the client’s reasons/desire to sleep through the night and his or her suggestibility—physical (direct and literal) or emotional (inferential) to craft a customized suggestion for sleep. The ideal sleep suggestion is one that will induce the client to sleep “quickly, soundly and deeply throughout the night and will awaken in the morning feeling completely rested. The mind will be alert and active,” Dr. Kappas said.

     Post-hypnotic suggestions to drift into sleep include reinforcing the person’s sensation of feeling deeply relaxed, comfortable and free of stress. Using therapeutic guided imagery, I may also help the client to create a special box or safe in which to store or “lock away” any worries or concerns in order to get a good night’s sleep. (I reassure the client that he or she can always “unlock” the box and take out those issues to work on in the morning, if they haven’t already resolved themselves during the good night’s sleep.) I will also provide a final suggestion that the person will release in a venting dream any and all of the stresses or worries that have previously prevented the client from enjoying a sound, deep, full night’s sleep.

Following are some other practical suggestions to help sleep through the night:

·         Do not to watch television or play video games an hour before you plan to go to sleep (these activities can mentally arouse you too much to sleep).

·         Do not to take any sleep aids or drink alcohol to help you nod off: sleep aids can inhibit REM sleep and dreaming; and you are likely to wake up again once the alcohol has worn off.

·         Have a bedtime snack that includes some form of protein. A piece of roasted turkey or a glass of milk is a great choice because both of these items contain tryptophan, which is believed to induce sleep. Eating something before bed will also reduce the likelihood of becoming hungry during the night, which is associated with insomnia.

·         While you are in bed, practice diaphragmatic breathing. Draw a breath through your nose, deep into your lungs, hold it for four seconds and release through your mouth. Repeat this breathing four or five times until you feel your body has released any of the remaining tension that you have been holding onto during the day.

·         Once you are in bed, if your mind is still whirring from the day, count backward from 100 as you preparing to fall asleep. “Counting will help to put [you] in a completely relaxed and restful state that will facilitate falling asleep,” Dr. Kappas explained.

·         Systematically tighten and then relax specific groups of muscles in your body, starting with the muscles in your face and neck, then down to the shoulders, back, arms, hands, abdomen, waist and hips, thighs, feet and toes. As you do this exercise, visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that every area that you stretch and relax makes you feel progressively relaxed and sleepy. It is perfectly fine if you drift off to sleep before you complete this exercise!

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015