(This blog was
originally posted on February 2, 2016)
 |
| Photo by Rick Hustead |
The concept of Emotional and Physical Sexuality formed the cornerstone
of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s therapeutic philosophies and approach. He
believed that these personality traits were more important and influential than
a person’s suggestibility,
because sexual personality was all about the individual’s motivations and
behavior in an intimate relationship.
Whereas suggestibility (how we learn) is learned/acquired from the
primary caretaker (usually, mom), the secondary caretaker (typically dad or
another father figure) typically models sexual personality traits. Like
suggestibility, a person’s Sexual Personality (“E & P”) is described as
varying degrees of “Emotional” and “Physical” characteristics. However,
emotional and physical Sexual Personality characteristics are not interchangeable with emotional and
physical Suggestibility. In his research, Dr. Kappas observed that an
individual’s Sexual Personality starts to develop during childhood, typically
when the youngster is between eight and fourteen years old. He hypothesized
that, at a very subconscious level, modeling the sexual personality traits of
the father figure is a way for the child to get (metaphorically) closer to
Mother.
Unlike suggestibility, which can change somewhat and be affected by
different events in an individual’s life, Sexual Personality does not alter
that much during a person’s lifetime. Furthermore, these characteristics
facilitate understanding and the ability to predict and shape a person’s
behavior. I and my colleagues who also went through the hypnotherapy
certification program at HMI appreciate the value and utility of this model
when we work with our own clients to achieve their vocational and avocational
self-improvement goals.
Following are highlights of Dr. Kappas’s model of E&P Sexual
Personality:
·
Emotional and Physical Sexuality is NOT a male/female thing. The male can be
emotional and the female can be Physical, and vice versa.
·
Opposites attract: An Emotional (e.g., social
wall-flower) is drawn to the Physical (e.g., social butterfly), and vice versa
because we are naturally attracted to our equal opposites. There is more
intensity, more vulnerability with your opposite.
·
There is a
subconscious goal to increase/raise the subdominant personality. For
example: The goal of the Physical partner is to raise the Emotional
partner’s subdominant trait (physicality).
·
Different partners trigger different behaviors,
depending on your E/P score
·
The E&P score will also differ depending on
the phase of the relationship (Honeymoon vs. Crisis)
·
50/50 scores on the Sexuality test indicate: “We
don’t know what you are.” You will have a different score for different
relationships, different phases of the relationship. But you will always have a
basic personality.
·
You can out-Phys/out-Emo a “same” partner.
“Opposite” partners/relationships are more intense, but there is 10 times more
vulnerability when you are with your subconscious opposite.
4 CORE TRAITS of the Emotional/Physical
Sexual Personality
(You must have positive confirmation of 3
core traits before deciding/identifying the sexual personality.)
1. Parental
background (when the pattern breaks, you need to find out why.
Parents may be going through a different phase of their relationship.)
2. Response
to rejection (When rejected, the Physical Sexual clings to the partner vs.
an Emotional Sexual, who “freezes out” the partner)
3.
Relationship
with the physical body (comfortable vs. uncomfortable with physical
contact) A Physical Sexual is connected/immediacy to the emotion, needs
physical contact. There is a physical sensation with emotional reaction,
somatization in the body. The Emotional Sexual has a disconnect of physical
sensation to emotion. Sometimes the Emotional doesn’t know how he/she feels.
Emotional protects the body, has a territory/boundary because the Emotional
doesn’t know how they feel about their body or feelings.
4.
Patterns
of personal relationships (History of E/P partners. For example, if you are
constantly attracted to a Physical Sexual, you are probably an Emotional
Sexual, and vice versa.)
I will describe the priorities and behavioral motivations of the Emotional
and Sexual Personalities in my next blog.
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Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more information
about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
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