(This blog was originally posted on June 2, 2014)
 |
| Photo courtesy of Microsoft |
I
get it. It is not always easy to know what the right thing to do is. When the
boundaries of correct behavior seem obscure and peer pressure and personal
motivation to achieve a specific goal are competing for attention, that little
voice inside can get drowned out by our internal emotional chaos. What if it
doesn’t have to?
From
the moment we are born, our subconscious mind is gathering and processing
information (knowns) that will serve as a blue-print for all of our future
behavior and beliefs. The content of the mental scripts that are programmed
into your SCM from an early age will probably be the most influential in terms
of how you process new information and negotiate potentially tricky social and
emotional situations. However, the outside influences such the rules and
ethical standards in your environment, as well as suggestibility to yourself
and other people in your social circle, will also influence how you respond to
these challenges.
There
is another, powerful influence that everyone possesses. I call this sensation
Inner Guidance. Some people might refer to it as an inner voice of reason; others,
more cynically, might refer to it as our conscience. Whatever you call it, you
can easily recognize how this influence makes you feel when you do something that helps or harms another person—or
yourself. Inner Guidance floats around in our conscious and subconscious mind. It
only reminds each of us of its presence by the prickly sensations we feel when
we do or say something a little out of the ordinary. It is that flush of warmth
and pleasure when you decide to “pay it forward” by purchasing a stranger’s
coffee at Starbucks®. It can also be the sting of embarrassment or even shame
when you intentionally cut in line in front of someone waiting for a great
parking spot at the mall. The good news is that Inner Guidance also makes an
appearance during our moments of indecision and confusion.
When we channel this
faculty, we can focus the rational, will-power, reasoning and decision-making parts
of our conscious mind to address (and work out) any conflict your CM may be
having with the knowns in your SCM. Here are some suggestions to help you make
the decision you want to make and to behave the way you want to:
·
When in doubt, stop what you are doing and
listen to the voice of your Inner Guidance. It is there to protect you from
saying or doing something that you may not really want to say or do—or might
regret.
·
Give yourself a “time out.” Whether you can
think about your choice for a couple of seconds or even overnight, take the
time you need to evaluate whether that thing you want to do is really a good idea.
·
Make a handwritten list of pros and cons about
the issue to help you decide. Handwriting is an ideomotor response, which means
that it comes from the SCM and reinforces the knowns (behaviors and beliefs) in
that part of your mind. The action of consciously writing down your thoughts
and beliefs to help you come to a new decision will also create a new known in
your SCM and reinforce your conscious decision, whatever it is.
·
Hypnotherapy and/or therapeutic guided imagery
can further reinforce your decision and behavior by enabling you to access your
subconscious mind when you are deeply relaxed. While you are in hypnosis, it is
easier for the SCM to accept these new knowns and replace the old reaction or
response with the new behaviors that you believe will improve your quality of
life.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a
certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with
honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2015
