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| Photo courtesy of Microsoft |
When
we were children, it seemed as though nothing can happen soon enough. Whether
we were looking forward to our next birthday, Christmas or Chanukah, summer
vacation or any number of events during the year, all we had to do was wait for
the next occasion to occur to enjoy some kind of reward. We didn’t even have to
do anything in particular to get to that next big event, either; it just
magically happened whether or not we were particularly engaged in the process. Of
course, even when we tried to preoccupy ourselves with hobbies, spending time
with friends or doing homework or chores, it took forever for the next milestone to roll around. Once our 16th
birthday came around we were automatically eligible to take a driving test and
get that coveted driver’s license. Sure, we had to put in some hours behind the
wheel with a driving instructor and study a handbook—a few of us remember
practicing on driving simulators in high school—but that wasn’t work; it was a
rite of passage. Two years later we could vote; at 21, we could legally buy and
drink alcohol.
But as adults,
opportunities and events rarely drop into our laps that way anymore. We usually
have to put in a lot of work and have
a lot of motivation to reach a goal or milestone. Also, there is no specific
timeline when you can expect to reap the rewards of all your efforts. Days,
weeks, months and even years can pass without making any obvious progress
toward our goal; it is easy to become frustrated and even disillusioned about
when/whether/if we will ever get our next “break.” An immediate, successful outcome
is no longer guaranteed. Sometimes life steps in and replaces the original goal
and desired outcome with something better than you could have ever dreamed of.
Consequently,
one of the biggest challenges many of us face is being patient with ourselves
as we strive to achieve a new goal. Even though we “know” that we have to work
hard to achieve a goal, your subconscious mind learned and remembers that some
things do just come to us without much effort: our birthday still comes around
every year, whether we want it to or not; and fairytales about a prince coming
to rescue his damsel in distress (you, me?) were ingrained in our subconscious
minds and fantasies from a very young age. I enjoy helping people work to
achieve new goals because this is a rare opportunity for them to learn how to
slow down and take stock of all areas of their lives, not just the goal they
are striving to achieve. For example, as you pursue that promotion at work are
you compromising your health by getting little or no sleep and poor nutrition?
The physical consequences of these behaviors could affect your perception, mood
and ability to focus or problem-solve, which could inadvertently jeopardize your
chances of being promoted. Are you so focused on completing that project that
you neglect relationships with or responsibility to family or friends? Are you
so focused on attracting that perfect partner that you pay no attention to
your professional goals and other social bonds? Where and how will your goal,
once it is accomplished, fit and balance with other important areas of your
life? Hypnotherapy and therapeutic-guided imagery provide great opportunities
to explore these issues and create strategies for achieving and enjoying these
accomplishments when they (finally) occur.
I recently read
a message on Facebook that Chris Cox, an acclaimed horseman and one of my role
models, posted to his followers about finding balance in his professional and
personal life. Mr. Cox wrote about all of the years he spent working and building his horsemanship company,
traveling all over the world and working so hard to get where he is today. In
the past few years, he has gotten married and now has two little children—the
family he wanted for so long. He finished the post by saying that he loves what
he does and he is proud of the company he built; but he also wants to spend
time with and enjoying his beloved family.
These sentiments
perfectly sum up what I am talking about: There comes a time in our lives when
we do have to work very hard and
sometimes for a very long time to achieve a goal and live the dream we spent so
long only imagining and waiting for. But while we are working and dreaming,
life goes on. Plans, goals and even new dreams are realized, and we have to be
ready and willing to welcome these experiences into our lives, too.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about
Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2014
