I am continuing to suspend
in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom
consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!
(This blog was
originally posted on August 29, 2016)
According to Erik
Erickson’s Stages
of Development model, passive-aggressive behavior begins when a child is
between three to six years old (Loco-Motor stage), when he or she is just
starting to become independent. The youngster also learns about guilt and
initiative at this time. Erickson observed that if a child is punished or
discouraged from expressing initiative, he or she would try to sabotage the
parents. For example, the individual might wet or soil the pants instead of
going to the bathroom despite having been toilet trained. This kind of passive-aggressive
behavior carries over into adulthood as a way to subtly hurt or frustrate
someone as if to teach a lesson to the other person. However, it is ultimately
the person who behaves in this passive-aggression way who suffers the most.
John Kappas, Ph.D., considered
passive-aggressive behavior part of a “losing syndrome” in which the person
subconsciously always expects to fail because he or she was never allowed or
encouraged to succeed at a task, or was even punished for being assertive. An
example of passive-aggressive behavior in adulthood is an employee saying or
doing something at work that contradicts the workplace environment/culture that
jeopardizes the individual’s chances of promotion or even gets the person
fired.
In the above example, Dr. Kappas worked with a man who sought
hypnotherapy to increase his motivation about his job and stop procrastinating.
The client conceded that he had had 20 jobs over the years; despite feeling
optimistic and believing he would succeed at the beginning of each employment,
it ultimately wouldn’t work out. When asked why the jobs didn’t work, the
client blamed his co-workers when something went wrong; or, he became bored
very quickly if he didn’t feel challenged if the job didn’t pay well.
To help the client work through these issues, the hypnotherapist identified
and pointed out common denominators between the unwanted behavior (procrastination
and low motivation) and the man’s passive-aggressive tendencies. Examples
included tardiness to work, tendency to daydream, avoidance of responsibility
and failing to show up at meetings or appointments. Next, Dr. Kappas
recommended specific dietary
changes to stabilize the client’s blood-sugar level and
reduce anxiety and frustration. He also gave the client positive suggestions
for future personal growth and appreciation of his abilities. Finally,
Dr. Kappas introduced him to the Mental
Bank Concept to increase the client’s motivation and sense of self-worth.
“Passive aggressiveness gets worse as the person gets older,” warned the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder,
which is why it is so important to obviate these behaviors sooner than later to
ensure continued growth and opportunities for self-improvement.
April Promotion: Hypnosis to Stop
Smoking! $800 for six, weekly sessions lasting approximately one hour each
week. This is a $100 savings! (A la carte sessions cost $150 each.) In
addition, I will waive the $200 fee for the separate First Session if you purchase
and book the six-week package up front.
Sara
R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern
California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been
voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row
(2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up
an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/
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2023
