(This blog was originally posted on December 10, 2014)
Do you remember your first day of
school? Mom or Dad—or maybe both parents—dropped you off in front of the school
or even at your classroom. They probably gave you hugs and kisses and plenty of
reassurance that everything would be okay, you’d have fun, etc. Perhaps they
even tasked an older sibling to watch out for you at recess and lunch until you
got settled in. Once you had been there for a while and had made friends of
your own, you didn’t need to be under the family’s watchful eye so much. You’d
be okay. Maybe, you’d even help another kid to settle in at the school who
seemed worried or uncomfortable, too.
Is it any different now that you are a
grown-up? As humans (and social animals), we typically want and crave
companionship of others. There is security in numbers, as they say; but there
is also a sense of reassurance that everything really can be okay when you see and know someone who has experienced and
succeeded in whatever you are going through. As hypnotherapist and Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., explained, anything
new is likely to be “painful” to some degree because it is unknown and unfamiliar. However, a person’s suggestibility to other
individuals can help to reduce this discomfort: As we observe someone else
successfully negotiate a challenge we learn and/or infer how we can do the same
thing.
For example, the first time I took my
horse out on a trail ride, my trainer rode his brother—an older and more
experienced gelding—while she ponied him beside her. I didn’t ride Galahad that
time out—I was on one of the schooling horses—because he had never been out on
an organized ride like that before. My trainer wanted to be sure he would be
relaxed, respectful and smart with people riding horses beside him. This way,
we could all go for a walk around the neighborhood together with two more
experienced horses and an experienced equestrian on-hand to relax and reassure
me and my boy. I was new to the neighborhood and still fairly “new” to my
horse, so this strategy was also great for me. I didn’t have to worry about
getting lost on the circuitous streets near the barn, and I could observe how my horse behaved away from the barn without
having to worry what to do if he didn’t
behave.
In fact, Galahad probably did the best
of all that day. I do believe that having his big brother next to him was very
reassuring during his new adventure. He kept looking all around him at the
passing scenery as we made our way through the community. His ears flicked back
and forth; sometimes he would blow contentedly as he followed us down one of
the dusty streets. My trainer told me that my horse seemed to slow down as if
he were dragging his hooves when we headed home. I was also more relaxed and
relieved to be on that ride with a more experienced rider and horse. Just for
safety’s sake, I do not ride alone—especially on an unfamiliar trail. In
particular, I did not want to be on Galahad the first time he went out like
this, without knowing what he was likely to do or how he might act away from
the barn. Happily for us all, he was a star and we all had a wonderful time with our buddies to make a new, positive
subconscious known (pleasure).
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about
Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2015
