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| Photo by Rick Hustead |
A couple of months ago, the topic of punctuality and attendance came up
at the business luncheon I attend each week. It was a relevant topic, because when
an unexpected issue comes up at work or home it may be necessary to miss that
week’s meeting. Perhaps it is an urgent problem at work that needs to be
addressed or a child has to be taken to the doctor, etc. Or, a network partner
has a long-planned vacation and will be away. Her car broke down. His dog got
out. The hairdresser was late finishing the previous appointment before mine….
Tardiness and absences from a business-networking meeting can be
inconvenient for various reasons, such as walking in late when a presentation
is underway or having fewer members available to make referrals. As a certified
hypnotherapist, I am very interested in and concerned about my clients’ reasons
for being late or missing the appointment/last-minute cancellation because this
reveals a lot about their motivations for and subconscious commitment and
resistance to their therapy.
According
to John Kappas, Ph.D., resistance
to changing a behavior is the first stage of effecting this change. “We do
things systematically to avoid change,” said the founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. “Change is a
threat to the unconscious mind.”
For example, being
late to the first-ever hypnotherapy session with me to overcome procrastination
and constant tardiness says a lot about that person’s subconscious mental
script. Even though the client consciously wants to change this behavior, it is
so familiar, comfortable and known that
the subconscious mind is not going to change without a metaphoric “fight,”
i.e., hypnosis. Or this person may mistakenly get on the wrong freeway and
drive 30 miles the wrong way before realizing the mistake and making his way to
my office an hour late (and having completely missed) the session. I typically
call or text my clients the night before to remind them about the appointment;
if someone is already 15 minutes late I will call to check in and make sure the
individual is 1) okay/healthy and 2) still planning to come in. If so, once the
client arrives at my office one of the first things I would explore is what he
thinks/believes the subconscious mind was trying to tell them. Slipping into a state
of environmental
hypnosis out of anxiety or nervousness about going in for the first-ever
hypnotherapy session could be a given explanation. But another, equally strong
subconscious motivation for being late is resistance
to changing the behavior—even a behavior that the person has repeatedly
insisted that he wants to change.
I understand
resistance. I also know how to help individuals break down this subconscious
resistance to replace an unwanted behavior with a wanted/more acceptable one in
hypnotherapy. To change an unwanted behavior, however, it is as important to go
for the cause of that behavior as it is for the person to be motivated to
make the change. While this is principle does not exclusively apply for dealing
with consistent tardiness, late-cancellations or “no-show” clients, their resistance
to making a consciously desired change is very obvious.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified
hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors
from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an
appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2016
