(This blog was originally posted on October 7, 2014)
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| Photo courtesy of Microsoft |
My great-grandmother used to spit
three times or throw salt over her shoulder if anyone said something that could
be perceived as wishing bad fortune on another person or situation. Some people
say “knock wood” or literally rap their knuckles on a wood surface to prevent
an unwanted event. Others wash their hands or mime this behavior as if to
cleanse themselves of an event or relationship they don’t want to be associated
with. Many kids still make the “cross my heart” pledge to keep a secret or what
have you. (In keeping with my grandma’s fear of tempting fate, I always left
off the “and hope to die” part.) Each of these behaviors is an example of a
defense mechanism, undoing, whereby a
person performs some kind of ritual or gesture to negate the likelihood or
power of a potential consequence of a behavior or belief.
Similar
to undoing, magical thinking is
another form of defense mechanism that entails creating associations—usually
imagined and typically based in superstition—between an event and a behavior.
There is a great scene in the 1990 film, Betsy’s
Wedding, in which
Betsy’s dad (Alan Alda) is shooting basketball hoops as he repeats the mantra,
“If I make this basket, it will be a great day.” When he doesn’t make the
basket, he keeps throwing that basketball at the net until (finally) the ball
goes in and he feels relieved that he might have a good day. Other examples of
magical thinking include the old adages about breaking your mother’s back if
you step on a crack in the pavement or being cursed with bad luck if you walk
under a ladder—seven years of it if you break a mirror. Neither undoing nor
magical thinking truly has the ability to shield or protect a person from
whatever consequence he or she believes could occur if the behavior is not
performed. However, every time the possible consequence is avoided by performing
the action reinforces the person’s belief in its effectiveness, which further
encourages the person to keep repeating that behavior until he or she achieves
the desired result.
These
and other defense mechanisms are strategies that enable a person to cope with a
stressful situation in his or her life. Like other defense mechanisms, undoing and magical thinking are
characterized by the following traits: 1) they are unconscious; 2) they are
self-deceptive; 3) they contain elements of denial; 4) they distort reality
through thoughts and action. Whenever we seem to successfully “avoid” suffering
a possible consequence by performing that action, this success reinforces our
belief (subconscious mental script) in the effectiveness of that ritual. This
success also encourages us to repeat that behavior to avoid negative outcomes in
other areas of our life.
Defense
mechanisms are fabulous temporary devices that can help us achieve such
security. Undoing rituals such as
throwing salt over the shoulder, knocking on wood and crossing the heart are
great examples of learned (and therefore known) behaviors. According to John Kappas,
Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, everyone is subconsciously motivated to maintain
and/or restore a known physical and
emotional status of comfort and security. Since the
subconscious mind is motivated and even programmed to seek this comfort, we may
adopt those defense-mechanism behaviors because we learned them from someone we
trust who does or used to do the same thing. However, the primary role of a
defense mechanism is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as
a threat or “pain” of having to deal with an unknown. These behaviors really
only provide a temporary perception of control over the environment.
Eventually, we must deal with and resolve the primary issue that has triggered
the defense mechanism to achieve personal growth.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about
Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
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