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| Photo by Rick Hustead |
According to psychologist and hypnotherapist Dr. John Kappas, an individual develops his
or her sexual
personality by modeling these behaviors of the secondary caretaker, usually
dad or another male role model. Indeed, once I know whether my client is an Emotional
or Physical Sexual, I have a great picture of how the person’s parents
interacted in their relationship. This model is so accurate that I can usually
correctly identify who was the primary earner and who tended to make the first
move toward reconciliation after an argument or fight.
As I explained in a previous blog titled All
About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1, sexual personality is
modeled after the secondary caretaker (usually dad or another primary male role
model) starting when you are around eight years old. If this person was focused
on work and running the household you are likely to adopt these priorities in
your life, as well. Conversely, if he spent more time focused on relationships
and his hobbies, etc., these will probably become your priorities (core
traits), too. However, there are a couple of instances in which this model does
not apply.
·
Identity of the secondary caretaker.
Although mothers are typically the primary caretaker who assumes most of the
day-to-day responsibility of raising a child, sometimes dad or another relative
has this role. If the father has the primary-caretaker role, he will model suggestibility
and mom (or the other adult) will model the sexual personality. This pattern is
also applicable if the child has two moms or two dads, etc.
·
Stage of your parents’ relationship. Emotional
expression between partners tends to ebb and flow depending on where the couple
is in their relationship. For example, during the honeymoon stage both
individual are more affectionate and participate more in each other’s hobbies
and family activities. A youngster perceives and processes these behaviors as a
subconscious known and begins to model them. Conversely, if this role model is
focused on earning an income or developing his career or business, the child is
likely to develop similar priorities.
·
Birth order. This category also reflects
the stage of the parents’ relationship in that experience raising a child may
make the parents more or less relaxed about being a parent during your
upbringing. If you are the first child and were born very early in your parent’s
relationship/marriage, the secondary caretaker may be more focused on securing
the family’s financial stability. Younger children may have a different
relationship with their parents who feel more relaxed and comfortable in their
role after nurturing other kids. In this case, the way your parents communicated
and interacted with you as a young child will also affect which traits and core
values you integrate in your own behavior.
·
No interaction with the secondary caretaker.
Finally, little or no interaction with a secondary caretaker between ages eight
to 14 years old, or a difficult relationship with that person, can result in modeling
the primary caretaker’s sexual personality as well as suggestibility.
For more information about Emotional and Physical sexuality, I invite
you to check out my other blogs titled:
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an
appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2017
