(This blog was originally posted on January 17, 2014)
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| Image courtesy of Microsoft |
From
time to time, in a moment of frustration or anger or even fear, we say
something negative and hurtful to someone very close to us. The incident that
sparked the outburst may turn out to be inconsequential, but in that instant
there is nothing more important or urgent than giving that other person a piece
of our mind for causing so much trouble in the first place. We can always
apologize and make amends to the other person once tempers have cooled down and
the issue is resolved. But, what if the person you are so mad at is you? Do you apologize for the hurtful
things you have said or thought about you, to yourself?
According
to John Kappas, Ph.D., the subconscious
mind works on expectation and imagination. Over time, we learn to expect others
to respond to and interact with us in a particular way based on our previous
experience with those individuals. We also learn to internalize the message or
emotion we perceive in those interactions, which can affect self-confidence and
self-esteem. No matter what the “message” is, as you hear and repeat it to
yourself your subconscious mind starts to internalize and believe that message.
If people in your social circle constantly bombard you with criticism and
negativity, perhaps it is time to change who you hang out with. If you are the
one trash-talking yourself, it is time to rewrite your subconscious mental script to be more
loving and accepting of yourself.
During
hypnosis, I teach my clients simple breathing and relaxation techniques by
which to dial down or even turn off the negative self-talk. I also desensitize
my clients to the stimuli that typically trigger their self-criticism and
self-reproach. Finally, I use therapeutic guided-imagery techniques to enable
my clients to find solutions for those situations and then visualize, imagine,
picture or pretend that they have successfully resolved a conflict with
self-confidence and self-love.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a
certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with
honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®
and to set up an appointment, please
visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
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