(This blog was originally posted on April 4, 2014)
Sometimes,
it seems like one of the most powerful human desires is the one for control. We want to control some aspect(s) of
our social or physical environment. We want to control our behavior. (Hey,
that’s what hypnotherapy is good for, right?) Or, we want to control (change) someone else’s behavior. Can
hypnotherapy help you achieve each of these goals?
My scope of
expertise as a hypnotherapist is to help my clients achieve vocational and
avocational self-improvement goals. There is really no way to control or change
specific aspects of a physical environment—such as the weather or climate where
we live—unless we physically move out of the area. Most of us can’t even
rearrange the furniture or décor in the lobby at work without having to get
permission from the employer and/or the building’s landlord. Similarly, none of
us has the ability to control someone else’s behaviors or beliefs if that
individual doesn’t want to make this change. However, we can use hypnotherapy and guided imagery techniques to
help us replace our own unwanted
habits or belief systems with behaviors that are more effective for us. The
skills you practice and learn in hypnosis can also help you adapt to, cope with
and even flourish in a challenging personal, social or work situation over
which you have no control. Your ability to remain relaxed, focused and calm in
this context will significantly reduce or even eliminate any personal effects
that the tension in this situation may cause you. You may even find that this
ability to control your emotions in this way indirectly influences (changes)
the way other people around you behave.
Before the next
scheduled interaction with the person or exposure to that environment, work
with me in hypnotherapy to help you desensitize to the negative stimuli
associated with that encounter. Give yourself permission to let go of any
grudges, bitterness or other negative associations you have with this
situation. Give the other person(s) permission to own their critical, negative,
etc., nature or beliefs that they have previously expressed to you. Then,
visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you are as relaxed, calm and
focused when you have that encounter as you are while you are in hypnosis.
Anchor that image of yourself responding in a positive, confident and
controlled way with the relaxed and comfortable sensation you are enjoying in
hypnosis so you can access your new calm and “in control” demeanor when you
need to. Even if the other person’s behavior or attitude does not significantly
change at that time, you will be better equipped to deal with that challenge.
I liken this
attitude and technique to the Serenity Prayer. Most of the time, each of us can
change our behavior and, in so doing, truly change a negative or challenging
situation into a positive or mutually rewarding experience. Sometimes, we can
do absolutely nothing about the circumstance except to just get through it by
changing the way we perceive and respond to it. The key to a successful outcome
in either circumstance is having the wisdom to know what kind of attitude
adjustment we can make at that moment.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about
Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
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