Everybody
has a different idea about success. You might define success as having a loving
family and being surrounded by good friends. For some people, being successful
means that they have achieved a high status or received accolades for their
work. For others, success means earning a lot of money and being wealthy. Regardless
of how you define it, it is unlikely that you are the only person in your
environment that has an opinion about what success really means. And, once again, your (and everyone else’s)
definition of success comes down to your mental script and the subconscious
knowns that created it.
John
Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind explains how a person’s early-life experiences
create the subconscious knowns that form the foundation of his or her life
script. Our understanding and experience of success is created the same way.
From a very early age, we associate a literal or metaphoric value to specific
events that occur during our lifetime. Perhaps we are lavished with verbal
praise and profuse expression of affection from a parent or caregiver when we
do well, or we are given a monetary reward for earning good grades at school.
Over time, we create an association between that thing we did well (or poorly)
and other people’s response to that behavior. We also learn to associate our
own feelings (pride, shame) about that performance and people’s response to what
we have done. Furthermore, as we create an intrinsic association between our
valuation of success and failure, and reward and consequences, we also develop
expectations about how other people should value that kind of performance. Our
self-confidence and self-esteem may even take a hit when other people do not
acknowledge the quality of our work.
Regardless
of the way you consciously evaluate, describe and categorize success, your
subconscious mind has troves of associations between your idea of it and how it
physically, emotionally and even spiritually feels to “succeed.” Even if you
have recently experienced myriad financial setbacks, if your known association
of success means having a good job and earning a high salary, your subconscious
mind is primed to seek and recognize an opportunity to have that, again. If
your idea of success is to have a loving relationship and fulfilling family
life, trust your subconscious “knowns” of this experience to attract this for
you again. However, if your subconscious life script isn’t consistent with your
goals, dreams or expectations, maybe it is time to rewrite that script. Changing
your strategy for achieving your goals does not mean you have succeeded any
less. Rather, you have probably scored a greater achievement for recognizing
something wasn’t working and making appropriate adjustments to make your dream
come true. Going back to Former British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli’s sage
advice, the secret to success—whatever your definition of it may be—is to
always be looking for and ready to take a good opportunity when it is
presented. The outcome may be even better than the one you originally imagined.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a
certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with
honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/
