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| Photo courtesy of Fotilia When our self-confidence and self-esteem are low, so too is our ability to value ourselves and our self-worth. |
Yesterday, one of my friends posted this quote-of-the-day on his Facebook wall: “The only person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday.” The quote was accompanied by a picture of a man looking down at his flexed biceps. His expression looked self-critical—but that was probably the desired interpretation, based on the quote. It definitely made me think, though.
It
is very easy to become self-critical. The expression “self-improvement” implies
that something is wrong or at least not as good, right or perfect as we would
like it to be. Whether we are considering our business acumen, sports ability,
beauty/physique, artistic talent, etc., it doesn’t take long for this
evaluation to become a comparison to other people. When we compare ourselves to
others, we lose sight of our own skills, talents, contributions and self-worth.
We cannot be ourselves while we are trying and pretending to be someone else—and,
we become angry and frustrated when we don’t fulfill those unrealistic expectations
of being like or being “better than” that other person.
The
most important work I do as a hypnotherapist is to help my clients to increase
their self-confidence and self-esteem. I compare these traits to an emotional
compass: the lower my client’s self-esteem or self-confidence is, the lower his
or her motivation and self-acceptance tend to be. I use therapeutic guided
imagery to help my client envision attaining the therapeutic goal. When I construct
the hypnotic script I use the client’s words to describe the traits, skills and
abilities that the person already possesses that will help him or her to
achieve that specified goal to reinforce the imagery. Over time, as the person continues to use the
skills and techniques that he or she has been rehearsing in hypnotherapy to
achieve this goal in the real world, the person’s self-confidence and self-esteem
get stronger. Furthermore, just about every aspect of the person’s social, emotional
and professional life get “better”, too; and a new world of options and
opportunities to achieve new challenges opens up.
Humans have a
predilection to compare every experience and every person to another, but what
is going on inside you today and tomorrow is the only comparison that really matters.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about
Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2014
