(This blog was originally posted on March 14, 2014)
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| Photo courtesy of Fotolia |
One
of my friends posted this quote-of-the-day on his Facebook wall: “The only person you need to
be better than is the person you were yesterday.” The quote was accompanied by
a picture of a man looking down at his flexed biceps. His expression looked
self-critical—but that was probably the desired interpretation, based on the
quote. It definitely made me think, though.
It
is very easy to become self-critical. The expression “self-improvement” implies
that something is wrong or at least not as good, right or perfect as we would
like it to be. Whether we are considering our business acumen, sports ability,
beauty/physique, artistic talent, etc., it doesn’t take long for this
evaluation to become a comparison to other people. When we compare ourselves to
others, we lose sight of our own skills, talents, contributions and self-worth.
We cannot be ourselves while we are trying and pretending to be someone
else—and, we become angry and frustrated when we don’t fulfill those
unrealistic expectations of being like or being “better than” that other
person.
The
most important work I do as a hypnotherapist is to help my clients to increase
their self-confidence and self-esteem. I compare these traits to an emotional
compass: the lower my client’s self-esteem or self-confidence is, the lower his
or her motivation and self-acceptance tend to be. I use therapeutic guided
imagery to help my client envision attaining the therapeutic goal. When I
construct the hypnotic script I use the client’s words to describe the traits,
skills and abilities that the person already possesses that will help him or
her to achieve that specified goal to reinforce the imagery. Over time, as the person continues to use the
skills and techniques that he or she has been rehearsing in hypnotherapy to
achieve this goal in the real world, the person’s self-confidence and
self-esteem get stronger. Furthermore, just about every aspect of the person’s
social, emotional and professional life get “better”, too; and a new world of
options and opportunities to achieve new challenges opens up.
Humans have a
predilection to compare every experience and every person to another, but what
is going on inside you today and tomorrow is the only comparison that really
matters.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense
Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
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