I
am fascinated by a new television advertisement for mobile (cell) phone
services. In the ad, a group of potential customers puts a representative of a
major, national phone company through her paces as they ask about various
communications features that the company offers. Viewers are led to infer that
the prospective customers are real-estate agents, because each of them is
professionally rand sports a tan blazer with a large emblem of a house on the left
side of the jacket. The group pretty much verifies the identity of their
vocation when one of the women says, “Let’s close!” and they all cross their
arms over their chest and grin. But it is what the customers and the sales
representative say with their bodies throughout the ad that is of greatest
interest to me.
Throughout
the ad, the phone-company representative matches every physical and facial
gesture that her prospective clients make. As a customer’s voice lilts at the
end of a question, the salesperson uses a similar lilt in her response. When
one person points a finger to make a point, the sales rep makes the same
movement during her explanation. Someone steeples her fingers across her
midsection; the sales rep makes the same gesture. Another person in the group
nods and raises her eyebrows; so does she. When the camera pans back a little, viewers
can see that the sales rep has even adopted a similar stance as she stands with
the customers. At the end of the advertisement when one of the customers
crosses her arms and announces they will all take (“close”) the deal, her
colleagues look at her and immediately imitate the crossed-arms gesture.
I
like this ad because it is such a fabulous demonstration of how people mirror
someone’s behavior in order to build rapport with someone. If your job entails
selling products or services, you probably recognized every sales technique
depicted in the advertisement I just described. But you don’t have to be a
salesperson or a customer to identify with what went on. We mirror each other’s
various behaviors—facial expressions, physical gestures, patterns of speech—all
the time, often without realizing that we are doing it. These actions are like
a “fast track” to building rapport with someone you would like to get to know
better. People are naturally attracted to others who behave or seem to think
like they do.
Think about a
conversation you have had recently: Did you nod at some point during the conversation
or lean forward in your seat as if to listen to your companion’s words even more
closely? And did your companion then lean his or her body closer to yours,
return your nod or mirror a hand movement that you were previously unaware of
having made? Did you notice when your spouse or friend took a step forward, backward
or sideways to mirror your stance, or raised or lowered his or her voice to
match the tone of yours? These are examples of mirroring; and mirroring is a subconscious
(or conscious) behavior that creates rapport and can facilitate social bonds by
reinforcing similarity or familiarity between you. Rapport is an inherent and
necessary component of every kind of relationship; it is the cornerstone upon
which every relationship is built. It is only when we establish rapport with
someone are we likely to explore the similarities and differences between us,
and know whether we want to spend the time and energy to create a social,
romantic or professional relationship with that person. Without rapport, we
cannot come to trust, respect, like or communicate well with him or her, and a
relationship—or a successful sale—is unlikely to result from the interaction.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about
Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2014
