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| Photo courtesy of Microsoft |
From
time to time, in a moment of frustration or anger or even fear, we say
something negative and hurtful to someone very close to us. The incident that
sparked the outburst may turn out to be inconsequential, but in that instant
there is nothing more important or urgent than giving that other person a piece
of our mind for causing so much trouble in the first place. We can always
apologize and make amends to the other person once tempers have cooled down and
the issue is resolved. But, what if the person you are so mad at is you? Do you apologize for the hurtful
things you have said or thought about you, to yourself?
According
to John Kappas, Ph.D., the subconscious mind works on expectation and
imagination. Over time, we learn to expect others to respond to and interact
with us in a particular way based on our previous experience with those
individuals. We also learn to internalize the message or emotion we perceive in
those interactions, which can affect self-confidence and self-esteem. No matter
what the “message” is, as you hear and repeat it to yourself your subconscious
mind starts to internalize and believe that message. If people in your social
circle constantly bombard you with criticism and negativity, perhaps it is time
to change who you hang out with. If you are the one trash-talking yourself, it
is time to rewrite your mental script to be more loving and accepting of
yourself.
During
hypnosis, I teach my clients simple breathing and relaxation techniques by which
to dial down or even turn off the negative self-talk. I also desensitize my
clients to the stimuli that typically trigger their self-criticism and
self-reproach. Finally, I use therapeutic guided-imagery techniques to enable my
clients to find solutions for those situations and then visualize, imagine,
picture or pretend that they have successfully resolved a conflict with
self-confidence and self-love.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®
and to set up an appointment, please
visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
