This afternoon, members of the KFI AM 640 radio
audience called into the station to describe their experiences with road rage.
One person described how someone tail-gated his vehicle for several miles
before getting into a physical altercation. Another person reported witnessing
a situation where an older woman “stole” a parking place close to the shopping
mall that another, younger driver had been coveting; when the first driver blew
her a kiss, the younger woman apparently shouted, “I will find you!” In another
instance, someone described her fear when she and another driver had pulled
over to the shoulder of the road and the other individual came at her with a
jack. She said she was certain he would beat her up with it when the man
suddenly turned around, got back into his vehicle and drove away.
As I listened to these anecdotes, I noticed some very interesting
physiological changes going on in me. The first was astonishment, anxiety and
even fear for the people involved. I couldn’t imagine what I would do if
someone came at me with a crow-bar because I cut in front of that person in
rush-hour traffic. I see drivers do that all the time, usually without
consequence or a sharp bleep of a car horn. I felt horrible for the woman who
received the veil threat that the other, wronged driver was coming after her
because she took the other person’s parking spot. Yes, it was inconsiderate (to
put it politely) and even mean for her to slip into a spot that someone else
had been waiting for. But did this action deserve the implied threat, “I’m coming for you!”
My next response was anger. I wondered how any of those situations
justified violence or even threatened violence. Sure, that annoying driver might
have ignored the rules of the road or went out of the way to cause aggravation
for other people “just because.” But what if one of the drivers made a mistake
and realized, almost too late, that he needed to get into another lane to exit
the freeway? Perhaps another person, unfamiliar with the city or roads, was
lost and even having a panic attack, which explained his excruciatingly slow
speed. What if the older driver who “stole” the parking place that another
person was clearly waiting for had a physical disability? Apparently, she blew
a kiss to the first woman as she pulled in, which allegedly sparked the other
woman’s rage. What if the older woman blew that kiss not to goad the other
person but was a gesture of her gratitude?
Now picture yourself in this scenario: You are driving in heavy,
rush-hour traffic when a car cuts across the freeway and merges into your lane,
right in front of you. Instinctively, you slam on your brakes to prevent
crashing into the other vehicle, only to have the car behind you lay into her
horn. You really haven’t done anything wrong in this situation; the person in
front of you was driving dangerously and you were trying to prevent a crash. Anyone
else would have done the same thing. Nonetheless, your nerves are in tatters
from the near-miss and the loud horn is the last straw. You flinch, startled by the loud noise and you
feel your face flush with fury. Perhaps you mutter a few curse words and go on
your way, annoyed but also relieved when the other driver speeds past with
another loud beep of the horn. You wonder what just happened and hope you stop
shaking soon.
·
Fear: The screeching of your brakes and
the sound of the loud horn blaring from the car behind you created an immediate
fear reaction. As Hypnosis Motivation
Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.,
explained in his model of the Theory of Mind, at birth we “know” only two
things: reaction to the fear of falling and reaction to a fear of loud noises. These
fear responses are lodged in the Primitive Area of the mind, always accessible
and easily triggered to protect us from impending danger. The sounds of the
screeching brakes and beeping horn, plus the sensation of lurching forward (“falling”)
as you slammed on your brakes, triggered your fear response. Big time. When the
first driver executed an unsafe lane change in front of your car, your first emotional
response was probably terror that you were about to be in the worst car crash
ever. The loud squeal of your brakes and perhaps the blast of your or another driver’s
horn reinforces that fear response. When you slammed on the brakes, you were
immediately grateful that the car behind you didn’t drive right into the rear
bumper of your car, either. In fear, we perceive that we are literally at the
mercy of the circumstance to not be harmed. We believe that have little or no
control over the outcome, which is when the fight/flight response kicks in. Some
people are very tolerant and possess a live-and-let-live attitude about
everything. For them, the initial fear they experienced after nearly being
involved in an accident on a busy freeway is appreciated for what it was: a “near
miss.” Life and the rest of the drive goes on, perhaps with prayers of thanks
or just a sigh of relief, but (hopefully) no more drama on the road.
·
Anger: However, fear and anger often go
hand-in-hand. Conversely, when we feel angry we generally perceive that we have
a greater perception of control over our circumstances. Furthermore, we even
have the perception of the luxury of control over whether the behavior deserves
to be punished and how much punishment to dole out. Once you know the danger had
passed, the anger started to build up and you thought/yelled: Don’t you (other driver) know how scared I
was just now because your careless/erratic driving almost caused me to crash my
car? And to the car behind you, Why
are you honking at me, you so-and-so, I was scared and trying not to crash into
that such-and-such! It’s not my fault! Don’t get mad at me! What did you want to
do to the person who cut into traffic in front of you? What did the driver
behind you do in this situation?
·
Suggestibility: The next variable to
consider in this reaction is Suggestibility.
When the first car merged in front of yours, did you immediately place blame on
his or her careless driving? Did you wonder if this action was to punish you for
something you may or may not have done (or be aware of doing) in traffic a few
miles ago? In your state of heightened alertness and fear, did you consider the
possibility that the driver behind you was actually trying to reprimand the
first driver for unsafe driving, in the first place?
·
Hunger and Nutrition: In my recent blog
titled This
Afternoon on the Radio, I described how low blood-sugar levels can affect
suggestibility and behavior including memory problems, inability to focus, irritability
and increased anxiety or even paranoia. This physiologically compromised state can
exacerbate irrational and even potentially violent behavior in you and/or the
other drivers that are involved in this situation. Hunger, compounded with the
stress of driving in heavy, rush-hour traffic can bring out the worst in
anyone.
When fear for your life is compounded with the desire to punish someone
who caused that fear by acting carelessly or recklessly, the situation can
quickly become deadly for all parties involved. Unfortunately, these kinds of situations
happen all too often on the road these days. If you are involved in a dangerous
encounter on the road the best, safest and advised thing to do is call
law-enforcement right away. Do not get into the altercation in the first
place. Call police or drive to the nearest police or highway patrol station to
report what is going on. No matter what yours or the other driver’s offense
happened to be, it is not worth killing or getting seriously injured or dying
for. There is always another place to park your car or a different lane to
merge into. A smashed car can be replaced. A life cannot.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist
based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an
appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2016
