(This blog was originally posted on August 15, 2014)
I
am a devoted fan of Patrick McDonnell’s Mutts© comic strip. The cartoons that
ran from August 11-August 14, 2014 featured two of the regular “seaside” characters,
Crabby and Mrs. Crabby, as they worked through a marital crisis. Not only was the
king crab feeling “happy” and content, he had suddenly become very kind and
even solicitous to his wife. Mrs. Crabby was beside herself with worry because she
had no idea to deal with his sudden change in behavior or attitude. She
literally did not “know” her husband since he was no longer grumpy and
complaining. The Crabby relationship was in jeopardy because the basic system
of their marriage had been disrupted.
The source or
reason for Crabby’s sudden attitude change wasn’t revealed; it didn’t matter
that his gentler, more considerate nature might have ultimately improved the
overall quality of their communication their relationship. Remember, doesn’t even
matter if the “change” is for the better and could even improve the overall
quality of their interactions or communication. According to John Kappas,
Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, anything new is unknown
and, therefore, painful. This behavior was very painful to him and Mrs. Crabby—so
painful, in fact, that they had to enlist the help of a marriage counselor (an
octopus) to help restore the usual status quo and save their relationship.
Right away, I
knew that a Systems Approach would be the most effective way to address this
conflict. The basic premise of the Systems Approach is: every component of a
social/emotional system affects the entire system. Whenever one member of that
social system changes his or her behavior in any way, that change could still
destroy the relationship if the other parties are resistant toward it. The
ultimate goal of a Systems Approach is to bring the original System back into
balance.
The Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder
stated that this approach infiltrates all areas of therapy regardless of what
the client’s problem or issue happens to be. Even if only one member of the
family or one spouse or partner in a relationship is seeking therapy, that
issue must be dealt with within the context of the client’s own system.
Therefore, the hypnotherapist must address components in the person’s work,
relationships, family past, the hypnotherapy he or she is receiving, plus
aspects of the entire social system or relationship. If these other issues
aren’t taken into account, the therapy won’t be successful and only the issue
being addressed in therapy will be “treated” (improved or eliminated) per the
client’s goal, Dr. Kappas warned.
The
presenting issue of Crabby and Mrs. Crabby’s case was marital accord, a
complete aberration of their normal interactions. If the (hypno)therapist
doesn’t keep Mrs. Crabby in mind during the therapy, she is liable to walk out
of the marriage because she has not been taken into account within the
“system.” Fortunately, both of these spouses were willing to come in for (hypno)therapy
to work on their marital issues and learned some techniques to help them
restore the natural balance of the relationship.
I
am pleased to report that the “therapy” worked, Crabby is back to being his
usual “crabby” self and he and Mrs. Crabby is delighted with the results! You
can read about their relationship at https://muttscomics.com/strips-archive.
© 2015
