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| Photo courtesy of Microsoft |
Every
so often, we have to interact with somebody who holds very different beliefs
than we do. In fact, this person seems so negative about absolutely everything
that is suggested, we can’t wait to get as far away from this individual as we
can, as fast as we can. Sometimes we even feel compelled to shoot back a few
critical comments (in our defense) on the way out the door. To add insult to
injury, we still sense that prickling cloud of negative energy swirling around
this new environment long after we have achieved quite a bit of distance from the
person. We wonder: Why did he say that?
Why is she always so negative? Am I the only optimist left in the world?
The
most effective defense against negativity is to simply not react to the
criticism/insult/sarcastic comment. I know how hard this can be, especially
when you must deal with that person on a regular basis (e.g., a colleague or
family member). Remember: energy attracts like energy. When someone criticizes
you in a non-constructive/mean way, the most effective way to defuse the
negative situation is to smile and thank him or her for pointing “x” out to
you. Then (politely) leave the
conversation or room. If you cannot extricate yourself from the situation,
imagine that the “criticism” or insult was spoken in a soft, gentle voice with
loving words and try the following imagery exercises:
·
Visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you
are wrapping delicate threads of protective energy around your body, from the
top of your head to the tips of your toes. These threads are gold and silver
light, thinner but stronger than anything that exists in the world. As they
wrap around your body, you notice how relaxed you begin to feel; and the more
relaxed you feel, the more patient and loving you are toward the person(s) who
is hurting your feelings. With each deep breath you take, these strands of gold
and silver light grow stronger and stronger and wind more tightly around your
body to create an invisible shield that prevents any negative energy to attach
itself to you. Each time you exhale, the negative energy bounces right off you
and dissolves into the universe where it can no longer affect you or anyone
else.
·
Visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you
are surrounded by very powerful, invisible magnets. Usually, these magnets are
used to attract positive energy and emotions and increase your self-confidence
to motivate you as you pursue your goals. If/when you notice that you are
surrounded by negativity or your subconscious mind gets stuck repeating a self-critical
mental script, simply “reverse” those magnets to push the negative energy away
from you.
There is no
excuse for being rude or mean when you criticize someone. In an ideal world, a criticism
should and would always be a teachable moment. Even if it is disappointing to
learn that your brilliant idea has many flaws, if you correct those mistakes as
suggested, your project could be great.
Take a few deep breaths to tamp down that urge to protest in defense and give
the other person the benefit of the doubt. No matter how the words came out or
the tone of voice the person said it in, on second thoughts you may realize
that he or she is speaking from personal experience and actually has your best
interest at heart. And if this isn’t the case, feel confident and respect
yourself to follow your original path to achieve your goal, your way.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a
certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with
honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/
