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| Photo by Rick Hustead |
According to John Kappas, Ph.D., Emotional
Sexuals do not get hung up in a failed relationship for as long or the way
a Physical Sexual is likely to do. Physicals focus
their lives on a relationship and a loving commitment. Once the relationship
becomes physically (sexually) intimate, they tend to plan the future and have
high expectations for commitment with the partner.
“The Physical Sexual
female subconsciously thinks, ‘Would he make a good husband/father of my child?
Could I spend an eternity with him?” The Hypnosis
Motivation Institute founder explained. If the other person is a good
candidate for such a relationship, this evolution of the partnership will
happen naturally. However, if the
relationship seems to be failing or if the other partner (typically an Emotional
Sexual) rejects the person’s advances, the Physical Sexual will panic about
losing the person and cling even more. When the Physical Sexual backs off a bit—perhaps
even making the Emotional Sexual jealous—the relationship tends to start up
again.
When the relationship is
finally over and the Physical Sexual leaves for good, the person doesn’t go
back. However, the person’s fear of the emotional pain resulting from this
separation and the fact that self-worth is so closely tied to the relationship
makes it difficult to make this final break, Dr. Kappas observed. This fear and
the person’s lack of confidence that he or she can survive without the partner
will subconsciously motivate the person to hold onto the dead relationship.
However, it may be prudent to let the relationship go if you’re not getting
what you want or need, he advised.
Since people continue to
evolve over time, you should become involved with another person with whom you
can grow in this way, Dr. Kappas said. Don’t hold onto a relationship that’s
not going anywhere for you and replace expectations about getting married and
having a partner with that partner,
specifically. “You need to separate what you want for yourself. You have to
project availability and attainability. Lovers are not forever, but for now or
tomorrow.”
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist
based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an
appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2016
