(This blog was originally posted on January 25, 2016)
“When the world gets in my way I say, ‘Have a
nice day!’” – Bon Jovi, “Have a Nice Day”
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| Image courtesy of Microsoft |
What do you do when everything seems to go wrong in your day? I pondered
this question while driving home from the barn this afternoon when “Have a Nice
Day” by Bon Jovi came up on my playlist. It is so
easy to internalize the frustration and run the unending loop of self-recrimination
or to blame others when a plan doesn’t work out the way we plan or want it to.
Some people yell. Others get in their car and take a fast (and sometimes
reckless) drive in the hope of blowing off some steam. It is always tempting
and too easy to channel frustration and take it out on the next person you see,
such as give the barista at Starbucks®
a hard time for getting your order wrong. It is usually a little more
challenging to just let go of your immediate (and usually transitory) angst to
focus on what is actually going right in
your day.
The late Dr. John Kappas,
founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute,
used to include the following suggestion in many hypnotic
scripts: I like it. It was (and
is) a great motivator when you are learning a new behavior, such as politely
refusing dessert after a meal to comply with your weight-loss program. Even
when something “goes wrong” or does not fulfill your expectations or desires,
this simple suggestion enables you to open your eyes to the opportunities this
inconvenience could yield. So, you burned the special meal you spent all day
preparing for that special someone? Yes, that is inconvenient and frustrating.
However, Dr. Kappas’s suggestion facilitated a new attitude and ability to see
an opportunity in the experience—a shared laugh or maybe even an impromptu,
very romantic picnic of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the living-room
floor.
So, someone cut you off on the freeway and prevented you from getting
off the highway at your intended exit? Once again, this new attitude of “liking
it” enables you to pass the negative emotion (frustration) and continue on your
way. Who knows, your unintended detour might steer you clear of a traffic jam
further up the road on your intended route that might have also added even more
time to your original journey.
Many of us have experienced a situation in which someone seems to be
taking out his or her frustrations on us. This person hasn’t learned the power
of Dr. Kappas’s nifty little trick of “liking it” and instead tries to feel
better by making things more difficult or awkward for others. That’s okay. You
can still turn the potentially unpleasant situation around by reminding
yourself that you like what is happening because it the situation is giving you
a new perspective/experience that you can learn and grow from. Then, as Bon
Jovi does in their hit song titled Have a Nice Day,
politely tell the person to have a nice day and walk away. It is impossible to
experience two opposite emotions at the same time: e.g., anxiety versus
relaxation, frustration versus optimism. Ultimately, saying and believing “I
like it!” and expressing a positive outlook and sentiments for others
enables you to improve the situation for yourself by finding opportunities
where someone else may only see obstacles.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an
appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2018
