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| Photo courtesy of Microsoft When you are at a party, take the opportunity to hang out with new people that you otherwise probably never would have met. |
This
morning, I had brunch with relatives I had not seen since I was about 10 years
old. It was a family reunion of sorts, and it was a lot of fun to get
reacquainted with them. I really did enjoy myself; but I bet some of you would
wonder about that if you had been there. You see, when the size of a group (or
party) gets big, I tend to get very “small.” If I am in a group larger than
three people—and even that may be
pushing it sometimes—I tend to hang back. I prefer to watch and listen to the
interactions going on around me. Maybe you are the same way. Here are some suggestions to help
you enjoy the company of the other people there—albeit in your own way—and on
your (smaller-scale) terms.
· Do not pressure yourself to interact with
everyone—or anyone—right away. Narrow your focus of interaction to chat with
the person sitting/standing immediately beside you or across the table from
you.
·
Remember (and remind) yourself that you were
invited to the event because the host likes your company. Not only do you share
at least one common interest with the person, so do the other guests. Trust
that the host values your friendship/relationship and wants his or her other guests
to get to know and appreciate your special qualities, too!
·
Offer to help set up or serve the food or even
clean up, afterward. These activities are a great way to let you ease into the
party by interacting with the guests without necessarily having to say too much
at first. While you are helping out, your subconscious can “people watch” and
listen to other guests’ conversations that will help you identify the individuals
who appear to share your interests. Meanwhile, you will probably have many opportunities
to communicate with them one-on-one as the guests wander in and out
of the kitchen or serving area.
·
If you are still really having trouble getting
into the event, try this mental game: Visualize, imagine, picture or pretend
that you are someone else whom you really admire and respect. Perhaps this
person is a role model in your life—a public figure, mentor or even a celebrity—whom
you know is very comfortable interacting with a lot of people. If you don’t
have a specific example in your life, a diplomat or a foreign ambassador make great examples for your large gathering/party alter-ego in this exercise. No
matter where they are or whom they are with, part of their job is to make small
talk to help others feel at ease.
You
may be very comfortable and relaxed just hanging out (and hanging
back) while everyone else interacts. However, it is important to remind ourselves
that the reason we accepted the invitation to attend this event is to meet and
talk to the other guests! Take this great opportunity to hang out with new
people that you otherwise probably never would have met, and demonstrate to
everyone around just how interesting and fun you are to be around!
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a
certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with
honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
