Let’s face it: At some point during your, my, everyone’s lifetime, we
will fail at something. Whether it’s a geometry test in high school, not waking
up when the alarm goes off in the morning, a relationship doesn’t blossom the
way we hoped, etc., failure of some kind is likely to touch us all. Despite the
negative connotations and associations with this term, however, failing at
something can actually be one of life’s greatest gifts because it usually
presents an opportunity to try something else that suits us better. Dr. John Kappas, the founder of
the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, used
to advise his hypnotherapy students and clients to think or say “I like it!”
even when the situation was unfavorable. Allowing ourselves to see the
opportunity in perceived misfortune or inconvenience is a chance to look for
and find that alternative path.
However, fear of failure is
also a very real phenomenon that affects many, many people to the point of
their becoming unwilling or even unable to pursue a goal or complete a task in
case something goes wrong. Of course, consciously we know that not taking an
action to realize that goal is another and more reliable way to guarantee failing
at it. However, the subconscious mind is secretly relieved because this state
of immobility is comfortable, familiar and “known.” Hypnotherapy can help you
manage and overcome this fear to get back on track to pursue desired goals.
When I work with someone who has a fear of failure, one of the first
things I want to do is help the client identify where and how this fear
evolved. If the individual does not know or can’t remember its origin, I might
suggest that the person will have a venting dream about the incident to analyze
in a future hypnotherapy session. I would also desensitize the person to this
fear and any stimuli that trigger this anxiety and replace the fear of failure
with smiling or laughing, whenever he or she thinks about it.
Another effective strategy is to employ plenty of imagery/visualization
exercises to prepare the client to get rid of this fear, and tie a stronger relaxation
response to override the fear/anxiety. “You need to double-bind the client by
substituting a positive suggestion for negative feelings or fear,” Dr. Kappas
advised. For example, tie the client’s fear of success with the image of
actually achieving that desired goal. If the person does not have any recent
experiences or memories of achievement, I would work with him or her to choose
and set small, achievable task to start this process. As the person continues
to succeed at these projects, I would reinforce the association between
relaxation and increasing confidence with achieving these new and increasingly
challenging goals. Ultimately, eventually, the “fear of failure” will be
replaced with a new subconscious known: enjoyment of success.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors
from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an
appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2016
