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| Photo by Rick Hustead |
Rapport between the hypnotherapist and the client
is a key component of therapeutic success. One way to build rapport between
them is for the client to know that the information disclosed to the
hypnotherapist is that this information is confidential. (An exception to this
protocol is if the client expresses an intention to harm him- or herself or
another person. In that context, the hypnotherapist is obligated to inform
authorities and/or warn the intended victim of this danger.) But if a client
discloses that he or she had or is having an affair the hypnotherapist must
honor the person’s trust and not disclose this information to the
spouse/significant other.
Hypnosis
Motivation Institute founder John
Kappas, Ph.D. advised the client to not tell the spouse/partner about the infidelity
if the person wanted to preserve the marriage if this disclosure was likely to
destroy that relationship. During the cognitive portion of the hypnotherapy
session the hypnotherapist must help the client understand the nature of Emotional
and Physical Sexuality and how the person’s having an affair fits into this
model. For example, an Emotional Sexual personality may have an affair because
he or she has become bored or frustrated in the marriage.
It is important that the client “buys” the symptoms
or behaviors of these personalities in order to understand why he or she was
unfaithful. Dr. Kappas explained: “An Emotional
[Sexual] male doesn’t feel guilty about cheating, just that the other
person will feel hurt. The Emotional male has probably already replaced [his
wife], but he’s not too concerned about the mistress because he usually doesn’t
end up with her. But once he thinks about the futility of the behavior in
therapy, he usually returns to the relationship.” Conversely, an Emotional
Sexual male wouldn’t believe that his wife would be unfaithful, and it is
difficult for a Physical
Sexual male to tell the Emotional Sexual female that he has had an affair.
The hypnotherapist should also explain to the
client how each sexual personality response to frustration in a relationship
and the perception/fear of being abandoned.
A Physical Sexual will also leave a relationship if he or she is bored or the
Emotional Sexual partner “set it up” that way by rejecting the partner until he
or she leaves the marriage, etc. However, a Physical Sexual may become even
more locked into the failing relationship if he or she feels rejected, the HMI founder warned. “Never tell a Physical
Sexual to leave a relationship; it won’t work,” he said.
In tomorrow’s blog I will describe how hypnotherapy
can be used to help the client salvage or end the marriage/original partnership
depending on the person’s relationship goals.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about
Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2016
