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| Photo by Sara Fogan |
A couple years ago, someone in the car ahead of me at my local Starbucks® drive-through paid for the
coffee I had ordered. It was right before Christmas, and the line was long.
People were stocking up on caffeine and sugary snacks in preparation of an
anticipated long drive to their holiday destinations—or just to wait in even
longer lines at the airport. In my rear-view mirror, I could see a driver
tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. Was he keeping rhythm with a song
playing on the radio, or was he simply impatient for the line to move again?
When it was my turn to pay and pick up my drink, the cashier cheerily
told me that the customer in front of me had paid for my order. Would I like to
do the same for the person behind me? I was so touched and excited and happy
about this random act of kindness that I immediately said yes. I wondered what
would inspire someone to just buy a drink for a complete stranger. Was it
holiday spirit? Or, was it something more? Looking back I can imagine that my subconscious mind was immediately whirring, translating a kind gesture from one person into an inference that a similar reciprocal gesture would be expected for the next.
When I got home, I learned that someone in another state had initiated a
paying-it-forward movement at his local Starbucks. Individuals had been buying
drinks for complete strangers for many hours until someone reportedly declined
the barista’s suggestion/invitation to continue the trend. Branch managers went
on the record to say that staff were not supposed or allowed to suggest that
other customers should pay it forward like that because people were feeling
pressured and bullied to purchase items they couldn’t necessarily afford—or want—to
buy. I could understand that perspective, too. But it made me think: what
inspires people to randomly do something nice for someone else? Presumably, the
person on the receiving end of this arrangement gets a gift of something--extra
time, extra money, a desired object. But, what does the person bestowing that
gift get out of it?
Speaking for myself, I experienced various physiological sensations of
delight: increased heart-rate and a gasped intake of breath, tingling in my
arms and up and down my spine. I couldn’t stop smiling. I was so temporarily
overwhelmed by that random act of generosity that I was easily persuaded to accept
the barista’s suggestion that I purchase the order for the people in the car
behind me. (Yes, there was a second or two of concern, wondering/worrying how
big that order would be, but I talked myself out of that anxiety by reminding
myself: “It’s Christmas!”) And to my own surprise, when I handed my gift card
over to pay for that order I felt another wave of happiness and delight. I literally
felt lighter, energized, optimistic,
inspired. I truly understood what this
expression means: “It’s better to give than to receive.”
Since that day, I have tried to pay it forward as often as I can.
Whether it is inviting a customer with fewer items than I have to stand ahead
of me to pay for groceries or hold a door open for someone else that is what I
will do. I might pay a compliment to a stranger, post an endorsement to praise
the service I have received from a local company or wave a car in the next lane
to merge in front of me when traffic is heavy. And sometimes I even purchase an
item of food or beverage for a stranger just because doing something nice for
someone else is also a way to express appreciation, respect and gratitude for
all that I have in my life. These things don’t really take any time and don’t
have to cost any money, but the mutual reward of giving and receiving an
unexpected, random gift truly is priceless.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist
based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an
appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2016
