“There comes a time when you have
to choose between turning
the page and closing the book.” –
Lolly Daskal
How do you
know when it is time to end a stagnant relationship? How do you know when it is
finally time to give up a comfortable (albeit, unwanted and unhealthy) habit? How
do you know when you should just add that new song or album you really like to
your iPod playlist, even though the genre of that music is not popular among
your friends and acquaintances? How do you know when is it an ideal opportunity
to read a novel by an author you have never heard of rather than re-visit a
favorite novel and beloved characters you have already completed ten times? How
do you know if, when, it is ever a
good idea to leave a well-paying job that you’ve been doing for years because
you suddenly have an opportunity to pursue the career you have always wanted?
How do you
know that “when” has become “now”?
As I explained in a previous blog titled Traditions:
It’s All in the Family, the subconscious part of the mind likes and wants to
do what is familiar (known), which the SCM equates with being “safe” and
comfortable. Hypnosis Motivation Institute
founder John Kappas, Ph.D. proposed
that human behavior is based on the subconscious mental scripts that we create
during early childhood, at which time the subconscious mind is accumulating and
storing various message units that will ultimately comprise the subconscious
life script. Each message is ultimately categorized as a positive (pleasure) or
negative (pain) experience, and anything that the subconscious mind does not
recognize falls under the category of “pain.” Even if the conscious mind
questions the behavior, its logic/reasoning/will-power/decision-making
faculties will be no match for the unspoken acceptance of that action, in the
subconscious mind.
There is no
question that change can be painful. Change is almost always uncomfortable,
even a desired change. Change is challenging, but that challenge is usually the
impetus that motivate us to try a new behavior or belief system in the first
place. For example, before a toddler takes that first, tentative step, it is so
much easier and initially faster to just crawl around the floor on hands and
knees. But after watching Mom, Dad and Sibling walking quickly out of reach,
the youngster becomes curious and motivated to try a different way to get around.
So the child takes a few tentative steps—first holding on to a parent’s hand or
gripping some furniture to facilitate the navigation. Then, once they master
walking, they figure out how to run. Eventually, over time, they learn to ride
a tricycle, then a bicycle and even drive a car. The original book on crawling has
been closed, but there are plenty of new “pages” in this new-found volume of
locomotion. And just like that, the whole,
wide world opens up and there are a lot of places to move around in and move
to.
It is so easy
to keep doing what we have always done, to be comfortable in a familiar
environment, reliving experiences that have brought pleasure and enjoyment. Conversely,
doing something new requires motivation, confidence, self-esteem, willingness
to take a risk or a chance and see what happens because you have enough faith
or belief that this action will turn out okay. Doing something new challenges
us from the moment we make the decision to step out of the comfort zone we have
been occupying for so long because we (the subconscious mind) initially resist
change. The question is, when you (your conscious mind) decides and determines
that it is time to move on and move forward, will your subconscious mind allow
you to tag along for the ride, or will it hold you back?
Sara
R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern
California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in
2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2016
