(This blog was originally posted on June 12, 2015)
From
time to time we come across—or think
we have come across—someone who just seems too good to be true. This individual
is talented, charming, intelligent and, of
course attractive. Perhaps she is an extraordinary, previously unknown athlete
that comes out of nowhere to win every championship title. Or it is an actor who
has gone unnoticed or even unrecognizable in several major motion pictures or
television series before “suddenly” landing a starring role in a major project;
suddenly, he is turning up everywhere.
Continuing on this theme, there is even a song in which someone is lamenting
the fact that other people always have plenty of admirers and romantic suitors
while the singer never seems to get any attention.
We wonder how and why some lucky few people get all of the
attention/acclaim/wealth, etc., while we are struggling just to keep up with
everyone around us. It just doesn’t seem fair, does it?
If
it is any comfort, there are very, very
few people who truly live up to the description of being a “flash in the pan,”
someone who comes out of nowhere to take the world by storm without having to
exert any effort. In fact, I truly doubt that such an individual really exists.
Everybody has a history, and every success is framed by a back-story that
features hard work and effort. The person may have been unknown to you before
he or she landed on your radar; but just because you didn’t witness those
trials and disappointments doesn’t mean they didn’t occur.
Many
of us have heard or even been told that we shouldn’t judge someone until we
have lived or walked in that person’s shoes. In other words, don’t make a
snap-judgment about someone’s behavior or attitudes if you don’t know what that
individual has experienced or endured that inspired a particular reaction. Just
because you haven’t heard about someone’s earlier achievements (and even
failures) until today doesn’t mean that this person is new on the job. One of
my favorite examples of this comes from an interview with Clinton Anderson, the
founder of Downunder
Horsemanship® and champion horseman. In it, he described that many people’s
mistaken belief that he and other horsemen of his ilk came out of nowhere and
become immensely successful and wealthy doing what they love: training horses.
The truth was far less glamorous, Anderson said: He used to travel around the
United States to teach riding clinics to anyone who would show up, usually just
one or two women, and treat his client like a queen for the weekend. He said
that he could only hope that those students would return for more training the
following year and hopefully bring a couple of friends with them. This
strategy, dedication and hard work have paid off, big time. Twenty years after emigrating from
Australia, he had earned and established his reputation as a champion horseman
and trainer and could purchase his first training center. The rest, as they
say, is history.
When
you feel tempted to make a snap judgment about whether another person deserves
the success that he or she seems to be enjoying, imagine what you would have to
do to be in a similar position. Chances are pretty good that this individual
put in more time, energy, dedication and money than most people would want to invest—and
endured many professional and/or emotional disappointments—before achieving the
success you have idealized. This person has simply followed a subconscious
mental script that facilitated the kind of success you admire (or envy)
and perhaps would like to emulate.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a
certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with
honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2015
