Sometimes,
it seems like one of the most powerful human desires is the one for control. We want to control some aspect(s) of
our social or physical environment. We want to control our behavior. (Hey, that’s
what hypnotherapy is good for, right?) Or, we want to control (change) someone else’s behavior. Can
hypnotherapy help you achieve each of these goals?
My scope of
expertise as a hypnotherapist is to help my clients achieve vocational and
avocational self-improvement goals. There is really no way to control or change
specific aspects of a physical environment—such as the weather or climate where
we live—unless we physically move out of the area. Most of us can’t even
rearrange the furniture or décor in the lobby at work without having to get
permission from the employer and/or the building’s landlord. Similarly, none of
us has the ability to control someone else’s behaviors or beliefs if that individual
doesn’t want to make this change. However,
we can use hypnotherapy and guided-imagery techniques to help us replace our own unwanted habits or belief systems
with behaviors that are more effective for us. The skills you practice and
learn in hypnosis can also help you adapt to, cope with and even flourish in a challenging
personal, social or work situation over which you have no control. Your ability
to remain relaxed, focused and calm in this context will significantly reduce
or even eliminate any personal effects that the tension in this situation may
cause you. You may even find that this ability to control your emotions in this
way indirectly influences (changes) the way other people around you behave.
Before the next scheduled
interaction with the person or exposure to that environment, work with me in
hypnotherapy to help you desensitize to the negative stimuli associated with
that encounter. Give yourself permission to let go of any grudges, bitterness
or other negative associations you have with this situation. Give the other person(s)
permission to own their critical, negative, etc., nature or beliefs that they
have previously expressed to you. Then, visualize, imagine, picture or pretend
that you are as relaxed, calm and focused when you have that encounter as you
are while you are in hypnosis. Anchor that image of yourself responding in a
positive, confident and controlled way with the relaxed and comfortable sensation
you are enjoying in hypnosis so you can access your new calm and “in control”
demeanor when you need to. Even if the other person’s behavior or attitude does
not significantly change at that time, you will be better equipped to deal with
that challenge.
I liken this
attitude and technique to the Serenity Prayer. Most of the time, each of us can
change our behavior and, in so doing, truly change a negative or challenging
situation into a positive or mutually rewarding experience. Sometimes, we can
do absolutely nothing about the circumstance except to just get through it by
changing the way we perceive and respond to it. The key to a successful outcome
in either circumstance is having the wisdom to know what kind of attitude
adjustment we can make at that moment.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about
Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2014
