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| Photo courtesy of Microsoft When you get frustrated with a situation, "turn it around" and create a positive outcome or benefit from the circumstance. |
A
neighbor calls you at 2 a.m. to let you know that your dog has got out of the
yard, and you have to chase him through the neighborhood before he finally
heels and you can get him home. Your car doesn’t start, and you have to call
road-side assistance to jump-start the engine so you can get to the mechanic
and buy a new battery. You rush to get to work to meet a client, only to find
out that your 11 a.m. appointment is a no-show. You agree to stay late to
finish a project at work, and then get stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic during
the evening commute.
Have
you ever had a day like this? Okay, maybe not exactly like this, but frustrating
(“bad”) in its way? What did you do about it? How did you react and handle the
frustrations—or did you handle them, at all? One of my favorite strategies
about how to deal with an uncomfortable situation is to “turn it around.” My
mentor, Cheryl O’Neil, C.Ht., introduced me to this philosophy when I was
training to become a hypnotherapist at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. HMI
founder John Kappas, Ph.D. coined this phrase. It is similar to the idea of
every cloud has a silver lining, except you play an active role in creating your silver lining.
For example, rather
than silently (or verbally) curse your canine companion for his naughtiness,
you thank him for making you aware that you have a hole in your fence or that
your gate is broken. Another advantage of your late-night jog through the neighborhood
is that you are getting a good cardiac workout. When you have to make the
unscheduled stop at the car-repair shop, this delay to your morning commute
likely saved you from having to deal with rush-hour traffic. As for your
no-show appointment at work, this is a great opportunity to catch up on other
work or projects that need your attention: return phone calls, answer e-mails, rehearse
the presentation you must give to your department next week, etc. While you are
stuck in stop-and-go traffic during your drive home—when you are not moving—practice diaphragmatic breathing
to help you relax. Start by drawing a slow, deep breath through your nose and
hold it for five seconds, then release the breath through the mouth. You know
you are doing this technique correctly because your tummy will extend or push
out a little bit as you inhale, but the shoulders will not move. Imagine that as you inhale, you are drawing in patience,
calm and relaxation; as you exhale, you are releasing any frustration and
negative emotion that you have felt during the day. The goal is to clear your
mind of the frustrations you have successfully
dealt with today.
Remember, the
worst is over. Tomorrow is a new day, and all things are possible.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense
Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2014
