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| Photo courtesy of Microsoft Life challenges, or changes of the guard, are really opportunities for you to examine, evaluate and change/improve aspects of your life. |
One of the most popular tourist attractions
in London, England is watching the changing of the queen’s guard at Buckingham
Palace. The Changing of the Guard is an elaborate ritual that occurs with
military precision—of course, the guards are
soldiers—that serves a practical purpose as well as a symbolic function. It
occurs several times each day when one group of soldiers goes “off-duty” and
the new shift comes on. After all, nobody can be expected to work indefinitely
at peak efficiency and skill without sacrificing the quality and/or integrity
of the person, equipment or project in question. At some point, a physical and
mental break from the task is necessary, or you risk the entire system breaking
down.
You
likely have experienced a version of the Changing of the Guard in your life,
too. Perhaps the owner of a company where you worked has retired, or the
company where you work gets a corporate overhaul. Your new boss wants to make sweeping
changes to the ethos and philosophy of how business will be done from now on: it’s
up to you and your colleagues to tow the corporate line to continue working
there. In another scenario, if a parent gets a new job in another city or
state, the entire family will probably pack up and move, too. The parent(s)
will have to find a new place for the family to live and the kids will probably
need to change schools. Or, if you and your partner go separate ways, it will
be up to each of you to review and revise your expectations about which habits,
behaviors and/or attitudes you will (and will not) tolerate in your future relationship(s).
Unlike the previous examples, you will probably have more autonomy to determine
what you will do next and when you will do it. Furthermore, you will be
equipped with the wisdom you garnered from this relationship to create a more
successful and lasting partnership with someone new.
Like the Changing of the Guard, we must all
adjust and even recalibrate specific aspects of our lives to adapt to the
changes that invariably occur around us. Like the soldiers of Queen Elizabeth
II’s palace guard, many times we don’t have a choice about how or whether to
respond to a change; we simply do as we are told when we are told to do it. It
is easy to follow these directions because these behaviors are likely already
established knowns in your
subconscious mind. If you have been doing a task or series of tasks over and
over at work they are familiar, comfortable and even easy for you. This
familiarity may even be comforting to you, since you know how to do “x” and
have achieved a certain level of competence or skill in performing that task. However,
when you are faced with a new situation or circumstance, the comfort of its familiarity
is missing. Your new responsibilities are unfamiliar, unknown and painful. Even though the relationship is over, now that
the person you are used to relying on for support, companionship and advice is
no longer in your life, the absence of this known paralyzes you. You don’t know
what to do, but you know you need to keep moving.
Whether we
consciously know or are willing to accept or agree with the apparent purpose for
the changes that occur in our lives, usually they are to our advantage. Our
reflexive, knee-jerk reaction is to dislike or disagree with something new because
it is unfamiliar and unknown. Yet, once we get used to that unknown—doing that
new task, learn the company’s new rules, give ourselves permission to let go of
a previous failed relationship—the rewards of this change typically exceed our
expectations. For example, I was sad and annoyed when Jay Leno retired as host
of The Tonight Show. I liked his jokes
and humor; he was the late-night host that I knew best and felt comfortable
with. Eventually, I accepted that it was time for Mr. Leno to retire and that NBC
executives needed to change the guard in their programming to remain a
competitive network. Of course, I’m glad, now, that I was able to accept this
new change, because I found a “new” favorite late-night host in Seth Meyers
(whom I already knew and liked from his stint on Saturday Night Live).
Personal growth and
change are part of live and living. Even when all you want to do is stand still
and keep doing what you have been doing all this time, force yourself to take a
step forward and move out of your comfort zones. Look at it this way: these life
challenges, or changes of the guard, are really opportunities for you to examine,
evaluate and change/improve aspects of your life that aren’t working the way
you want them to.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a
certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with
honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
©
2014
