If you ride and/or work with
horses, you probably understand what I mean when I say that the relationship
humans share with their equine partner(s) is one of the most intense
experiences you may ever share with another being. We admire the power, beauty
and freedom that horses represent; we want to ride the so we can know how it
feels to fly without wings. We are infatuated with the myths and stories about
those equine ambassadors that showed apparent loyalty to their humans, and we
want to experience that kind of devotion in our lives. Unlike the dogs, cats
and other small domesticated animals with whom we share our lives and homes,
horses are large, powerful animals that could literally kill us at any time and
without even meaning to.
The irony of this relationship
is that these big animals can seem and even be so vulnerable. Humans are
predatory animals while horses are prey for many species. Feral or wild horses
have no problem fending for themselves, but we tend to lavish the domesticated
members of this species with food (and treats), shelter, veterinary and farrier
care, and our unrequited love. Many people know what it is like to spend long
hours nursing a horse back to health after it suffers a bout of colic or has a
serious training injury. Is there anything as sweet as the relief we feel when
we know that the animal will survive? We regard our horses as our four-legged
kids. We address them with terms of endearment such as baby or sweetheart and
speak in low, placating voices as if we are soothing a human child. But this
kind of extreme treatment—coddling—can be lethal.
In his Theory of Mind, John
Kappas, Ph.D. described the development of the subconscious and conscious mind
from the “primitive mind,” an area of the mind where the fight/flight response or
survival instinct resides. Whenever you are in a trance state—whether you are
deeply engrossed in a video game you are playing—or during a hypnotherapy
session, you have actually “escaped” into hypnosis because the conscious mind is
overwhelmed by outside stimuli. Hypnosis is your safe haven. Conversely, horses
literally flee when they feel threatened. The most powerful thing that could
stop this flight is the presence of a respected herd leader that commands the
direction and speed with which the other animal(s) in the herd move. Since
horses weigh ten times that of an average man, the safest thing in the
human-equine partnership is for the person to be that leader. Unfortunately,
this is an ideal and not necessarily a true hierarchy in many of these
relationships.
Your horse will not listen or
respond to your vocal or body aids unless it respects you as the leader of your
herd and trusts that you can and will provide security and protection from
danger. This respect includes recognizing that you, like your equine, expects
to have a safe perimeter of personal space in which the other horse(s) in the
herd can intrude without an invitation, or else there will be consequences. If
you watch a herd of horses interacting in a pasture, you will notice how one of
the animals seems to control where each one of its herd-mates is grazing. If
the lead horse wants to be in the spot occupied by another horse, he or she
will move the other animal out of the way, starting with body language such as
pinning its ears to physically pushing, biting or chasing the other horse away.
More often than not, a subordinate horse knows that it needs to get out of the
way when the other animal shows up to avoid a physical altercation. Every horse
knows this drill from the time it is a foal, no matter what its rank in the herd.
Furthermore, even in your herd of two, your horse will have no compunction
about reminding you where you “belong” if he or she doesn’t respect you as that
leader.
Whether your horse invades your
personal space, tries (or succeeds) to bite you, refuses to move off of your
leg or vocal command, or other tries and to dominate you in any other way, it
is clear that he or she does not respect you as a leader. Even the 900 to 1,300
pound “baby” that you love so much will run right over you to escape from any
real or imagined threat if it doesn’t respect you and the space you are
standing in or the sensation of your weight on its back. No matter how you spell
the love you feel for your horse, this word is spelled r-e-s-p-e-c-t in your
equine partner’s dictionary.
By the way, your horse needs
your respect, too—perhaps more than he or she wants or needs your love. I will
describe some practical techniques to earn and reinforce a respectful
relationship with your horse in the next blog.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a
certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with
honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2014
