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| Photo by Rick Hustead |
It is
still about six weeks away, but April 15 (Tax Day)—or, April 18, this year—feels
much closer for a lot of us. Whether you are meeting with accountants and
preparing to write those checks or the CPA helping others negotiate tax season,
this is a great opportunity to remind you to be kind to yourself and start
doling out those “Twinkies.”
In this
case, I am not referring to the Hostess Twinkie cake but a concept
introduced by John Kappas, Ph.D. Rather,
a Twinkie is the concept Hypnosis Motivation
Institute founder used to represent a metaphoric reward for a behavior or
attitude that may feel like a sacrifice to the other person but takes some
considerable stress off you. In the context of paying or preparing to pay
annual taxes, an Emotional
Sexual individual may be experiencing extra stress as he or she balances the
budget and looks for ways to eke out extra money to send to the government in
April. As I explained in my essay titled All
About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 3, an Emotional Sexual’s
primary focus is always financial security. If the person is worried or
preoccupied about something to do with his or her career or money, this person
will not have time or patience for anything else until this issue is resolved. This
is not good news for the Physical
Sexual partner, who becomes anxious and gets hurt feelings if romantic
overtures are ignored or rebuffed.
To
prevent misunderstanding and unnecessary conflict and increase physical desire between you and your
partner, Dr. Kappas recommended that each individual “give a Twinkie” (a
metaphoric treat or favor) in the form of a desired behavior, from time to
time. For example, the Physical Sexual partner can give the person time and space
to work on those W-2, 1099, etc., forms without interrupting the other person
to complete household chores or even for physical intimacy. (The Emotional
probably isn’t interested in that right now, anyway.) In return, the other
person can send love notes, have flowers delivered or set a date to share a
romantic meal with the Physical partner to show that he or she is still thinking
about the other person. Not only will these kinds of behaviors take pressure
off, the subconscious gratitude each person feels for being allowed to satisfy
core personality traits will increase sexual desire and willingness to express loving/affectionate
feelings for the other person, later.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense
Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2017
