(This blog was originally posted on April 25, 2014)
I
am fascinated by a television advertisement for mobile (cell) phone services.
In the ad, a group of potential customers puts a representative of a major,
national phone company through her paces as they ask about various
communications features that the company offers. Viewers are led to infer that
the prospective customers are real-estate agents, because each of them is
professionally rand sports a tan blazer with a large emblem of a house on the
left side of the jacket. The group pretty much verifies the identity of their
vocation when one of the women says, “Let’s close!” and they all cross their
arms over their chest and grin. But it is what the customers and the sales
representative say with their bodies throughout the ad that is of greatest
interest to me.
Throughout
the ad, the phone-company representative matches every physical and facial
gesture that her prospective clients make. As a customer’s voice lilts at the
end of a question, the salesperson uses a similar lilt in her response. When
one person points a finger to make a point, the sales rep makes the same
movement during her explanation. Someone steeples her fingers across her
midsection; the sales rep makes the same gesture. Another person in the group
nods and raises her eyebrows; so does she. When the camera pans back a little,
viewers can see that the sales rep has even adopted a similar stance as she
stands with the customers. At the end of the advertisement when one of the
customers crosses her arms and announces they will all take (“close”) the deal,
her colleagues look at her and immediately imitate the crossed-arms gesture.
I
like this ad because it is such a fabulous demonstration of how people mirror
someone’s behavior in order to build rapport with someone. If your job entails
selling products or services, you probably recognized every sales technique
depicted in the advertisement I just described. But you don’t have to be a
salesperson or a customer to identify with what went on. We mirror each other’s
various behaviors—facial expressions, physical gestures, patterns of speech—all
the time, often without realizing that we are doing it. These actions are like
a “fast track” to building rapport with someone you would like to get to know
better. People are naturally attracted to others who behave or seem to think
like they do.
Think about a
conversation you have had recently: Did you nod at some point during the
conversation or lean forward in your seat as if to listen to your companion’s
words even more closely? And did your companion then lean his or her body
closer to yours, return your nod or mirror a hand movement that you were
previously unaware of having made? Did you notice when your spouse or friend took
a step forward, backward or sideways to mirror your stance, or raised or
lowered his or her voice to match the tone of yours? These are examples of
mirroring; and mirroring is a subconscious (or conscious) behavior that creates
rapport and can facilitate social bonds by reinforcing similarity or
familiarity between you. Rapport is an inherent and necessary component of
every kind of relationship; it is the cornerstone upon which every relationship
is built. It is only when we establish rapport with someone are we likely to
explore the similarities and differences between us, and know whether we want
to spend the time and energy to create a social, romantic or professional
relationship with that person. Without rapport, we cannot come to trust,
respect, like or communicate well with him or her, and a relationship—or a
successful sale—is unlikely to result from the interaction.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in
2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®
and to set up an appointment, please
visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2015
