Imagine
that you are having a conversation with your partner or spouse about your plans
for the weekend. The conversation is relatively banal until the other person
casually mentions that you still haven’t replied to the neighbor’s invitation
to their party on Saturday. “Are we going or not?”
Bam!
It’s like someone flipped a switch in you. Just like that, the joking mood and
light-hearted banter evaporate in the heat of your sudden, apparently
inexplicable rage: “Why are you asking me?
You sound just like my mother. Why can’t you
ever make a decision about what to do?”
Or, you are watching a movie in
happy, relaxed silence when your companion starts whispering (loud) comments
about the film in your ear. Another person in the audience glares at you and
hisses, “Sshhh!” even though you haven’t said a word. You are furious that you
have been blamed for the disturbance—especially because this incident is so like that time you were punished for
talking during silent-reading period at school (twenty years ago), and you didn’t say
anything then, either. Your companion, who is indifferent to the other movie-goer's annoyance and oblivious to the memory it has triggered in you, is
hurt and confused because you barely speak to him the rest of the night. Didn’t
you like the movie?
These are
examples of a parataxic distortion response: a
reaction to a subconscious memory that is totally unrelated to the person or
incident that you are responding to. Anything from the tone of voice in which a
question was asked, a facial expression or the specific words that another
person used could trigger this reaction. The power of this emotional response are
likely to take the person responding this way by surprise, not to mention the
unintended target(s) of this reaction.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about
Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2014
