I
am a devoted fan of Patrick McDonnell’s Mutts©
comic strip (https://muttscomics.com).
This week (August 11-August 14, 2014), two of the regular “seaside” characters,
Crabby and Mrs. Crabby, were having a marital crisis. Not only was the king
crab feeling “happy” and content, he had suddenly become very kind and even
solicitous to his wife. Mrs. Crabby was beside herself with worry because she had
no idea to deal with his sudden change in behavior or attitude. She literally
did not “know” her husband since he was no longer grumpy and complaining. The
Crabby relationship was in jeopardy because the basic system of their marriage
had been disrupted.
The source or
reason for Crabby’s sudden attitude change wasn’t revealed; it didn’t matter
that his gentler, more considerate nature might have ultimately improved the
overall quality of their communication their relationship. Remember, doesn’t even
matter if the “change” is for the better and could even improve the overall
quality of their interactions or communication. According to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s
Theory of Mind, anything new is unknown
and, therefore, painful. This behavior was very painful to him and Mrs. Crabby—so
painful, in fact, that they had to enlist the help of a marriage counselor (an
octopus) to help restore the usual status quo and save their relationship.
Right away, I knew
that a Systems Approach would be the most effective way to address this
conflict. The basic premise of the Systems Approach is: every component of a
social/emotional system affects the entire system. Whenever one member of that
social system changes his or her behavior in any way, that change could still
destroy the relationship if the other parties are resistant toward it. The
ultimate goal of a Systems Approach is to bring the original System back into
balance.
According to
Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder, this approach infiltrates all areas of
therapy regardless of what the client’s problem or issue happens to be. Even if
only one member of the family or one spouse or partner in a relationship is
seeking therapy, that issue must be dealt with within the context of the
client’s own system. Therefore, the hypnotherapist must address components in
the person’s work, relationships, family past, the hypnotherapy he or she is
receiving, plus aspects of the entire social system or relationship. If these
other issues aren’t taken into account, the therapy won’t be successful and
only the issue being addressed in therapy will be “treated” (improved or
eliminated) per the client’s goal, Dr. Kappas warned.
The
presenting issue of Crabby and Mrs. Crabby’s case was marital accord, a
complete aberration of their normal interactions. If the (hypno)therapist doesn’t
keep Mrs. Crabby in mind during the therapy, she is liable to walk out of the
marriage because she has not been taken into account within the “system.” Fortunately,
both of these spouses were willing to come in for (hypno)therapy to work on
their marital issues and learned some techniques to help them restore the
natural balance of the relationship.
I
am pleased to report that the “therapy” worked, Crabby is back to being his
usual “crabby” self and he and Mrs. Crabby is delighted with the results! You
can read about their relationship at https://muttscomics.com/strips-archive.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a
certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with
honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2014
