Time for Quiet Reflection

Photo by Sara Fogan

                I do my best “thinking” when I am with my horse. As I described in a previous blog “Chilling Out With My Boy,” January 8, 2014), I don’t have to be riding or even grooming him to become uber-relaxed and inspired. Just watching Galahad play or graze with his herd-mates releases any tension or anxiety I may have been carrying around in my body. In response to this physical relaxation, my mind soon follows suit. Soon, all the answers to questions or doubts that have been niggling at me start to percolate up from my subconscious mind to my conscious mind, begging to be solved.

                I have found that spending time in a natural setting (ideally, at a barn) is a wonderful environment in which to do my mental house-cleaning. I liken this process to deciding which item(s) of clothing, books or CDs I will donate or sell to raise funds for one of my favorite charities to make room for everything I will acquire the next year. The process of accumulating so much stuff can take months, and deciding which item(s) I can bear to give up often takes even longer. However, the moment I decide that it’s time to make room in my home (and life) for those new goodies I am ready to part with my previous treasures. Knowing that someone else will be able to enjoy them one day removes some of the temporary sting of saying goodbye to those belongings.

Of course, sometimes it can be a little more difficult to bid adieu to my old expectations and beliefs about the “would have/should have/could have been” moments that may have somehow passed me by. But when I breathe in the scent of fresh hay and wild flowers and watch my horse languidly stroll to a new grazing spot, I see clearly that everything in my life is happening exactly the way it should be. I am literally fulfilling my lifelong goal of being a therapist; my opportunity to learn how to use hypnosis and guided imagery to help my clients achieve their goals is the gift that made my new career possible. Over the years, I have been able to significantly increase my patience and ability to tolerate and quickly resolve a minor stress in my daily life. I use/refer to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind almost every day. Whenever I feel that tug of reluctance to try something or go somewhere new, I remind myself, “As soon as I do this once, it will become a known and I won’t have to worry about it again.”

One of my former instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, the late Marc Gravelle, used to warn his students and clients about the never-ending pitfalls of “What if.” Nearly 10 years after I first listened to his reasons why and how this question causes unnecessary anxiety, not only do I understand and appreciate his philosophy, I am my own proof that this is true.

I wonder what new opportunities I will realize the next time I do some mental house-cleaning…

 

 

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2014

 

Imagery and Sports Hypnosis

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

Guided imagery reinforces the desired behavior as a new known in the
subconscious mind and facilitates improved sport performance.

                Imagery is a powerful tool to help improve your performance in a sport (or just about every other activity in which you participate). Remember: the subconscious mind does not know the difference between actually participating in that sport and “imagining, visualizing, picturing or pretending” that you are working on specific aspects of your training. Therefore, when you can create that mental movie of yourself pitching a no-hitter baseball game, nailing that landing on the balance beam or riding a perfect canter pirouette, etc., the SCM processes this information like it really happened.

It is beneficial for me to know as much about the sport in which my clients participate so I can create an effective, powerful hypnotic script that will help them achieve their goals. My scope of expertise is in hypnotherapy—i.e., how to help a person become relaxed and change unwanted habits or behaviors to achieve their vocational and avocational self-improvement goals. I am also an equestrian; so while riding and horse-related activities resonate most strongly with me, I understand the commitment, dedication and sacrifice that all athletes must make to succeed in their sport. Before our first appointment, I spend time learning about my clients’ sport, including its rules, terms/lingo and history to get a better sense of their athletic environment.

When I work with clients to help them achieve sports-improvement goals, I encourage these athletes to video-record their training sessions and/or competitions so they can analyze what they would like to improve and why. It is great if their coach or trainer will watch the video with them to provide an objective assessment of their performance, including acknowledgment or praise of what they did right and constructive criticism of the errors to suggest ways of correcting any mistakes. The client can bring notes from this discussion to the hypnotherapy session so I can incorporate the instructions or advice in the hypnotic suggestions. If my client would like me to do this, with his or her permission, I am also happy to speak with the trainer to get information or clarification about specific nuances of the sport. These conversations can be especially beneficial because the coach will outline specific tips to improve the athlete’s technical execution of a technique, and I can incorporate these technical suggestions in the hypnotic script.

I like to use therapeutic guided-imagery when I work with athletes because, again, these techniques activate my client’s subconscious mind to mentally engage in their sport. It doesn’t even matter whether the person is physically (responds better to literal and direct suggestions) or emotionally suggestible (prefer metaphor and inference). When I customize the hypnotic script for an athlete, I take the person’s suggestibility into account when I incorporate his or her sport-improvement goal(s). During the imagery journey, the client will have several opportunities to rehearse or practice making the desired changes to his or her athletic performance while in hypnosis. In so doing, he or she will be able to virtually experience how it feels to make these changes by engaging all five senses: What does it look/feel/taste/smell/sound like when you do “x”? Engaging the senses in this way not only increases the intensity (“reality”) of the imagery experience, it also reinforces the behavior as a new known in the SCM, which facilitates the desired change in behavior (improved sport performance).

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2014

 

Relaxation in Hypnosis

Photo by Sara Fogan

When we are relaxed, it is easier to integrate hypnotic
suggestions to change a behavior and to see a previously
problematic situation in a new light.

                It is Friday night, and many people are looking forward to the weekend. Why? Because Saturday and Sunday are typically, “traditionally” (albeit, not necessarily) the days we devote to fun and relaxation. We give ourselves permission to kick off our shoes, loosen our neckties and put on looser-fitting garments to “play” in until Monday (work) rolls around again. If possible, we turn off or tune out that part of our mind that we devote to focusing on our jobs and the projects or responsibilities that preoccupy our attention during the week. The weekend is our time to do what we like, when we want to do it.

                Rest and relaxation are important components for physical and emotional health and well-being. When we experience anxiety, in the form of physical or mental/emotional stress, the adrenal system releases “stress” hormones to help us flee or escape the perceived threat. However, long-term exposure to an emotional or physical threat can compromise our immune systems and increase our vulnerability to opportunistic illnesses (e.g., flu). Our willingness and ability to get away from the daily stresses in our lives not only gives us a new perspective on a problematic situation; it also facilitates our physical and emotional rejuvenation that will facilitate our new outlook.

                I include a lot of deep (diaphragmatic) breathing exercises and progressive relaxation imagery to help my clients relax during their hypnotherapy session. When a client is deeply relaxed, he or she is more open to accepting and integrating hypnotic suggestions designed to change or give up an unwanted behavior to achieve the person’s stated vocational and avocational self-improvement goal. Also, the individual can create new, positive associations (subconscious knowns) between the comfort and relaxation that he or she is experiencing and a new or renewed ability to handle or resolve a potentially challenging situation. Finally, continued “practice” in feeling relaxed while engaging in the new, desired behavior will gradually, subtly transfer to various areas of the person’s life. Not only will the person achieve the stated self-improvement goal; he or she will find it easier to remain relaxed and experience less or no stress while taking on new or additional challenges at work and in life.

                Have a great weekend!

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2014

A Greater Sense of Control

 

                Many people seek hypnotherapy to help them change an unwanted behavior: quit smoking, lose weight, increase self-confidence, be able to relax, etc. Whatever their ultimate goal happens to be, the person will have to control, change or override a familiar behavior (known) to achieve it. When they make that initial phone call to set up a first hypnotherapy appointment they may have some or no previous experience being hypnotized, but many people have an idea about what it may entail.

                During that initial conversation or our first meeting the person will express a conscious, enthusiastic desire to make a positive change in his or her life. The idea of having my (or another hypnotherapist’s) undivided attention for about an hour, including the 15 to 20 minutes they will spend in hypnosis to work on changing their undesired behaviors, appeals to a lot of clients. They know that this appointment is their time to be listened to in a confidential, supportive, nonjudgmental environment. They understand that hypnosis and therapeutic guided-imagery are effective tools that hypnotherapists use to help replace the unwanted behaviors that no longer work for them. But one nagging doubt still lingers in the back of their mind: Will you be able to control my mind?

                This is one of the most common concerns people have about hypnosis. My answer is, no. Hypnosis is an ancient, natural and drug-free state that can be used as an effective therapeutic tool. I explain to each of my clients at our first appointment that hypnosis cannot make a person say anything or behave in a way that he or she wouldn’t ordinarily act when in a fully alert and aware state. I incorporate the language of the person’s subconscious mind (suggestibility) with the person’s words and expressions in the hypnotic script that will help motivate, encourage and support the desired behavioral change. The client is hypnotizing him- or herself; as the hypnotherapist, I guide and facilitate this process.

                Hypnosis is one of the most relaxing states that you can experience. In fact, everyone is in a light state of trance (hypnosis) twice each day: for 30 minutes after waking up in the morning and 30 minutes before drifting to sleep. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a state of unconsciousness or even sleep. Every sense is heightened during hypnosis. Yes, you will be more receptive to suggestions and other sensory influences while you are in this state. You may even suddenly notice a slight itching sensation on your neck when I bring your attention to the label sewn into the collar of your shirt.

However, during hypnotherapy the only person who can and will control your mind is you, and that is how and why the avocational and vocational self-improvement changes you want to make in your life will be achieved. It provides an opportunity to gain even more control over an aspect of your life that you may not have previously been able to change. If you would like to get rid of an unwanted habit or behavior why not give hypnotherapy a try? You will find that you have even more control over—not risk of losing control of—your mind, behavior and beliefs than you ever imagined!

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2014

 

Hypnotherapy for Children and Teenagers

(This blog was originally posted on February 27, 2014)

            

                Over the years, many of my clients have wanted to work on similar self-improvement issues: increase self-confidence/self-esteem, improve sport performance, increase focus/memory, manage fears and phobias, or to overcome social anxiety. The majority of these clients have been adults. However, I can and do work with children and teenagers. For the most part, a child’s hypnotherapy session is very similar to the grown-up’s: I discuss what behavior(s) the person would like to change, and I use the context of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind to explain how the current, unwanted behavior was established—and how it will be replaced by a more effective, desired strategy. During hypnosis, I provide general suggestions for relaxation and guided imagery that is specifically tailored for my client. Following are some of the major differences between my hypnotherapy work with children (under 18 years old) and adults:

1.       I must have a signed consent document from the child’s parents in order to work with anyone under 18 years old. If the parents are divorced and share custody of the child, both parents must still sign a consent-release form which I provide. If only one parent or has custody of the child, the legal guardian must sign the document.

2.       The parents and legal guardians have a legal right to know some details about the hypnotherapy that their child or teenager is receiving. They also have a right to know whether the minor is using drugs or engaging in underage sex or dangerous behavior, or is threatening to harm him- or herself or others.

3.       I respect the youngster’s right to privacy and confidentiality whenever possible, but I also encourage the individual to confide in his or her parents, if/when it is appropriate.

4.       When I work with minors, I always invite my client’s parents or guardian to be present during the hypnosis.

5.       The amount of time a young child will spend in hypnosis during the hypnotherapy session will be much shorter than what an adult or even a teenager will spend. While I typically use breathing/relaxation exercises to induce hypnosis in all of my clients, I also employ some kind of eye-fascination technique to hypnotize a child under age 14. (I usually do not use eye-fascination techniques to induce hypnosis in an adult).

 

As a certified hypnotherapist, California law allows me to provide hypnotherapy as a complementary or alternative treatment to help my clients to achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals (Business and Professions Code 2908). If your child or teenager’s issues are, or become, beyond my scope of expertise as a hypnotherapist, I will refer you to a licensed medical doctor or psychologist for further evaluation and/or treatment.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2014

Recurring Dreams

Photo courtesy of Photolia

Recurring dreams are a way for the subconscious mind to
resolve a conflict or work through unmet needs.

 

 

                Have you ever had the same dream—or a dream about a specific topic—more than one time? These are recurring dreams, and they occur when the subconscious mind is unable to release or vent the content of the dream for one reason or another. You are likely to continue dreaming about this topic until your SCM has worked through, resolved or released your subconscious attachment to that issue. If this has happened to you, don’t worry: recurring dreams are your mind’s way of letting you know that you need to let go of a behavior, emotion or attachment that is preventing or hindering your personal growth.

                In his book, Professional Hypnotism Manual, Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D. observed that an individual may also have recurring dreams about a stage of development that they may have missed. He theorized that the person’s dreams repeatedly address a specific literal or symbolic representation of a conflict, whereby the subconscious mind tries to relive and work through whatever is keeping the person “stuck” in that stage. Those dreams would likely cease once the person consciously or subconsciously resolved the conflict, thus releasing him or her to enter a new stage of development.

                For example, if someone seeks hypnotherapy to “stop” his or her recurring dreams about a former partner or aspect(s) of that previous relationship, I would first help the individual to analyze  those dreams. I would specifically be interested to know what his or her dream interpretation reveals. What new insights does the client have about the behavior, emotions or beliefs associated with that former partner or relationship? In other words: What are you subconsciously holding onto? What do you subconsciously not want to give up or refuse to release? Next, I would incorporate this information into the hypnotic script(s) to encourage the client to give him- or herself permission to release any remaining emotional attachment to the person/relationship that may be preventing personal growth. I would also incorporate information about the positive lessons and experiences that the person acquired through this relationship, which my client could apply in a future and more successful or rewarding relationship. Finally, I would give the person a hypnotic suggestion to release residual emotions or behavioral attachment to the former partner or relationship—specifically, to the habit of dreaming about them—in early-morning venting dreams. Such release will not only provide a resolution for the conflict(s) that the person’s SCM has been working so hard to resolve, but will also enable him or her to pursue other goals that will facilitate continuing personal growth.

                I have addressed the psychological and physiological benefits of dreams, and hypnotherapy and how to analyze dreams, in several previous blogs: Dream Therapy, Part 1 (January 8, 2014); Dream Therapy, Part 2 (January 9, 2014); and Dream Therapy, Part 3 (January 10, 2014).

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

 

Choices

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

Sometimes the only choice we have is how
and whether to react to a situation.

 

            It may not feel this way all the time, but we always have a choice to make. Should I go or stay? Should I wear this outfit or that one? Should I paint the walls blue or white? Should I believe what you are telling me or not? And so on. But even when there is not an obvious difference in your material options, you can always choose your how you behave or react to a situation.

            I understand how very difficult it can be to remain calm and dispassionate when something happens that interrupts your plans for the day, week or month. Aside from the practical inconveniences that you now must deal with, you likely have to manage your emotional disappointment, frustration and even anger. Other than the temporary release that swearing a blue streak, punching a hole in the wall or getting into a physical altercation with the person who “ruined” your day may provide, these actions are seldom productive. However, a different perspective on this new situation may help.

·         Remember: Not every aspect of our lives is in our control. Sometimes things just happen, and the people who rise above those little (and big) challenges in their lives are the ones who can flow with, adapt to and even rise above them.

·         Patience is the gift that keeps on giving. In her book The Power of Patience, M.J. Ryan explores the various way that being patient with yourself and the people in your life can literally open up new opportunities (www.maryjaneryan.com). However, she warns, the key to capitalizing on this success is in knowing when and for how long you should be patient (wait) versus reach for the great opportunity that seems to be calling your name. Like the children’s story about the tortoise and the hare, sometimes focus/quiet consideration, diligence and persistence to achieve your goal are more effective strategies to attain it than charging directly into the fray to stake your claim.

·         Be generous and understanding/compassionate toward others even when you are inconvenienced. Similar to patience, every now and then we must all step aside or even take a step backward and give another person the benefit of the doubt when events in his or her life take precedence over your own. I liken this situation to the sign posted in each examining room at a local veterinary practice. The sign informs clients that the doctors must sometimes devote extra time to a very sick patient (the animal), and they ask for the humans’ understanding and forgiveness if a vet can’t see their pet at the scheduled time. I couldn't begrudge them that; could you?

·         Correct your “thinking errors” with cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques. A “thinking error” refers to making broad cognitive (thinking) distortions or misinterpretations of an event or situation. An example of a thinking error would be your certainty that the world is conspiring against you because this freeway closure will make you late for work again, you’ve lost your house key and misplaced your cell phone twice this week. CBT facilitates a more balanced and accurate interpretation of those events and their likely cause(s), as well as help you to develop strategies to resolve conflicts that may develop from them.

Next time you are faced with a practical choice to make or are deprived of one altogether, remember that your emotional response is probably the most important decision you will make in that situation (albeit initially less obvious). Practice diaphragmatic breathing to clear your mind and help you to focus on these choices, your interpretation of what is going on in this situation and the possible implications of this belief(s). In addition to helping you relax, this technique will give yourself more time to consider all of your options and opportunities before you commit to a thought, verbal or physical action that you may not mean and cannot take back.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

The Unintentional Trigger (of a Phobic Response)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

                Did you see it?

On Saturday, the ScienceNow column of the Metro section in the Los Angeles Times featured a huge picture of a Dolomedes Triton spider. Okay, the photograph wasn’t huge; it was only four inches by seven inches—I measured it!—but it was in color and there were enough details to show aspects of spider anatomy I didn’t need or want to see. And it was no ordinary, fly-eating house spider, either: it looked like a tarantula, and this creature was photographed catching a small fish! While I am not a fan of arachnids in any situation, I can only imagine how this image might have affected someone who has a fear or phobia of spiders. For a moment, I fancifully wondered if there should have been a spoiler alert on the previous page to warn readers what they might see on page AA2.

Of course, life doesn’t come with a spoiler alert, either. It is up to each of us to learn and develop strategies to cope or “deal” with things that make us feel uncomfortable. But what do you do when there is no “known” reason to explain your extreme, negative reaction to a stimulus that doesn’t seem to bother anyone else? How do you “cope” with this fear or anxiety when just a picture or other representation of the stimulus can also trigger that strong negative reaction?

I often work with people to help overcome their fears and phobias, through hypnotherapy. A fear is distinguished from a phobia if the primary cause of the extreme reaction: 1) has an identifiable “cause”; and 2) the person can identify when the fear started (usually during childhood). Phobias, which typically begin during adulthood, do not have a known primary cause or specific date of onset. Also, the person is aware that his or her extreme reactions to the stimulus are irrational.

To help someone who experienced an extreme negative reaction to the photo I just described, I would need to determine whether this individual had a fear or phobia about what is depicted in this image. While the client is in hypnosis I would systematically desensitize the individual to specific aspects of the stimulus that the person finds distressing (e.g., anatomy of the spider, what it is doing in the picture, etc.). Next, I would desensitize the person to the entire or overall image/impression of the spider or spiders and give the person to “practice” controlling his or her reaction in guided imagery. Finally, I would teach the person relaxation techniques and create a subconscious anchor with which he or she can activate this sensation of feeling of calm and reinforce this ability to control the previous negative response. When the client is returned to a fully alert and aware state, I would discuss the role of nutrition—specifically, how blood-sugar levels can exacerbate anxiety and its physical symptoms. I would also coach him or her on how and when to use the Emotional Freedom Technique (www.eftuniverse.org) to work through this anxiety.

For more information about fears and phobias, go to my blog titled “Fears & Phobias” (April 2, 2014). For more information about the relationship between nutrition and anxiety, please read my blog titled “Nutrition and Hypnotherapy” (January 14, 2014).

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

 

Practice What You Preach

 Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

                One of the most important components of having a “good” relationship with your (or any) horse is that you respect each other. I described the importance of respect in the human-equine relationship in my blog titled “When Respect Equals Love, Part 1” (May 21, 2014). I also suggested some techniques to increase your horse’s respect in the blog titled, “When Respect Equals Love, Part 2” (May 22, 2014). When we work with them, we expect the horse to identify us (humans) as their herd leader. We expect them to stays out of our personal space and to move in the direction we ask, when we ask. However, for this relationship to work we need treat the horse as a sentient individual that has its own emotions, thoughts and motivations. Even though we assume an assertive or even a dominant role in our interactions, ideally we communicate what we want the horse to do rather than dominate and try to overpower it to get our way. These attempts to overpower and force a horse to do what we want rarely, if ever, work. An average-size horse outweighs the average-size man by nine or ten times, it is capable of running 30 to 40 miles per hour, and it can land a very powerful (and potentially lethal) kick when it feels cornered.

                The irony is that we are probably more likely to be injured working with or around our own very gentle, docile and affectionate horse than another equine we don’t know as well at the barn where we ride. Why? Because the routine we have with our horse—grooming, riding, bathing, feeding, giving treats, etc.—is familiar, comfortable, a known. Many of us find that just being around our horse is incredibly relaxing and even comforting (I certainly do). But relaxation around horses can and often does translate into carelessness. We duck underneath our horse’s neck to get to and groom the other side of his body. We walk into the pasture to catch him while he is turned out with other horses, discounting or ignoring the fact that the treats we are carrying for our horse will also attract his herd-mates. This scenario could quickly become very dangerous if our horse and the other animals try to bowl us over to get to the treats. We forget (or neglect) to wear sturdy boots to the barn to make sure that our horses have been fed and have enough water for the night, and our diligence is rewarded with a gentle stomp on our unprotected instep. Or, you forget (or neglect) to put on a helmet before heading out on a short trail ride. When a bird suddenly, noisily explodes out of a nearby bush, your terrified (bombproof) gelding bucks, spins, and dumps you on the ground as he bolts back to the stable.

                Now, imagine a different scenario in which you are riding or grooming a horse that you don’t know very well. For example, I am almost a different person when I handle any horse other than my own. Whenever I lead my trainer’s stallions to or from the turnout, or groom or clip any of her other mares or geldings, it is like I am crossing every “t” and dotting every “i” in terms of following safety protocol. I don’t really know any of these animals as well as I do my own horse, which means that I must consciously (and subconsciously) be more aware that I should always be on my guard in case one of them, well, acts like a horse. I know each of those horses well enough to be able to identify their individual behavioral quirks and idiosyncrasies; but at the end of the day, even though each animal is bigger and stronger than me, when I am working with them I am the alpha in the herd.

                While we expect our horse to respect our role as the herd leader in the horse-human partnership, humans must reciprocate this respect for this relationship to be successful. Whether your horse is a hunter/jumper, cutter, dressage, endurance/trail horse, etc., he or she is a very intelligent and powerful and likely highly trained animal. The horse has opinions about what is going on around him or her, and has opinions about what he or she wants (or doesn’t want) to do. Even though we know, consciously, that our horse is not an oversized puppy, the kind of love he or she really needs from us does not come from the carrots we offer, or the kisses or the marathon grooming sessions we provide. Our horses need to know that they can’t push us around, run us over or scare us away from horses and riding forever when they shy because a leaf just crunched under their hooves. Even though we love and sometimes love “on” them, we must respect our equine partner(s) for being a horse and all of the physical and symbolic power this implies. And we will show our respect by being the leader they need us to be.

       

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

And Your Handwriting Says...Part 2

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

The size and style of your letters, and the size and space between
your letters, words and lines of writing can reveal a lot about your personality.

            Handwriting is an ideomotor response that provides insight into the writer’s subconscious mind. I explained the role of handwriting analysis in my hypnotherapy practice and identified some specific traits I look at in each HWA in two of my previous blogs (Handwriting Analysis, February 5, 2014; And Your Handwriting Says, April 24, 2014.) Here, I will describe several other prominent handwriting characteristics I look at and what these traits say about the writer’s suggestibility (how we learn), subconscious behaviors and motivations.

Here are a few more handwriting characteristics that I look at:

 

·         Spacing (between letters): The size—or amount of space—between letters indicate the writer’s width or narrowness of thinking. The less space there is indicates that the writer has a narrow view and is less willing to take risks in his or her life.

·         Spacing (between words): The amount of space between words indicates social maturity. The less space there is between words suggests that the individual needs people and attention. However, this person is unlikely to be open to what others say or believe.

·         Spacing (between zones): A writer who leaves more space between lines of writing indicates that he or she tends to be generous, courageous and independent.

·         Size of letters: The size of each letter indicates the writer’s opinion of him- or herself. Small writing suggests that the person tends to be thrifty and may not have many friends; however, he or she is capable of deep concentration and extreme attention to detail. Average-size writing indicates someone who tends to conform to social expectations and exhibits normal caution and reserve. Someone who has large writing tends to be extroverted (social) and takes the initiative; he or she needs to be noticed. Someone who has very large writing may be aggressive and single-minded, possibly rebellious.

·         Variable size of writing: If the size of the writing increases, this suggests that the person’s communication style tends to be blunt. When the size of the writing decreases, the writer’s communication style tends to be diplomatic and conforming.

·         Fancy/ornate writing: This style is identified by many swirls and embellishments of the writing. The writer tends to be someone who “must” be at the center of attention; it may also indicate someone who possesses an artistic personality, or someone who is acting out or showing off.

 

For more information about handwriting analysis, or if you would like to request an in-depth analysis of your own writing, please contact me via my website at www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com.

 

 

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

 

© 2014

 

What to Do When Self-Confidence Takes a Hit

            Self-confidence is a quality that some people seem to have in spades. No matter what challenge is at hand, they jump right into the fray to participate without worrying about what others think or might say about this show of enthusiasm. The only thing that matters is having an opportunity to do something they enjoy and/or believe that they can accomplish. They manifest the mantra, “What other people think of me is none of my business.” So, why isn’t everyone so confident?

            Confidence, like almost every other belief and behavior, is a learned response. But guess what: even people who seen to exude this trait from every pore can lose it from time to time. The key to their continued success is that they know how and what to do to get back into the game and recoup that lost mojo.

Following are some tips to help boost your self-confidence and override any influences that may negatively affect your performance:

·         Practice diaphragmatic breathing: inhale through the nostrils to draw the air (and oxygen) deep into your lungs, hold the breath for four seconds and then slowly release the air through your mouth. You can tell that you are doing this technique correctly because your shoulders remain still but your tummy expands when you breathe in and flattens again when you breathe out. Exhale on the thought or word “confidence,” or any other word or image that represents confidence to you.

·         While you are breathing this way, think about a time(s) when you accomplished a similar or other “big” goal. How did it feel (physical sensations, emotional response) when you first realized that you had succeed? Once you have a good image of this success in your mind, press your thumb and index finger together as you exhale on your image of confidence (this success).

·         Do the Emotional Freedom Technique to reinforce your commitment to loving and respecting yourself as you work through and overcome this issue. EFT is very easy to learn, and it is a very effective tool to help people overcome a variety of blocks, negative behaviors, etc. For more information about EFT, check out the website at www.eftuniverse.org.

·         Do something (physical or mental) that you know you are good at and enjoy. Take a walk, go for a swim or even solve a Rubik’s Cube® if that is your area of expertise. Choose an activity you know can accomplish, which will increase your self-confidence and reinforce your subconscious mind’s association between self-confidence and success.

·         Remember who you are. Whoever you are and wherever you come from, you have something to offer to the other people around you. Perhaps that something is an unusual personal experience or philosophy; maybe it is that talent which you have temporarily forgotten how to access but are working on retrieving that skill. If you are an employee, consider your skills that earned your job offer. If you are the owner of a company, think about everything you did to make the business what it is and attract people to want to work with and for you. If you are a performer or artist, remember the work you have produced that people are willing to pay to see or even own.

Finally, be sure to drink plenty of water, avoid caffeine and alcohol, and eat foods that contain protein to minimize your anxiety and keep your mood even. It is important to have some protein in your diet because this substance helps to prevent a drop in blood-sugar level, which can exacerbate any anxiety you may be feeling and further sabotage your self-confidence. For more information about the relationship between nutrition and anxiety, please visit my “Nutrition and Hypnotherapy” blog (January 14, 2014).

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Changing of the Guard

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

Life challenges, or changes of the guard, are really opportunities for you to
examine, evaluate and change/improve aspects of your life.

            One of the most popular tourist attractions in London, England is watching the changing of the queen’s guard at Buckingham Palace. The Changing of the Guard is an elaborate ritual that occurs with military precision—of course, the guards are soldiers—that serves a practical purpose as well as a symbolic function. It occurs several times each day when one group of soldiers goes “off-duty” and the new shift comes on. After all, nobody can be expected to work indefinitely at peak efficiency and skill without sacrificing the quality and/or integrity of the person, equipment or project in question. At some point, a physical and mental break from the task is necessary, or you risk the entire system breaking down.

                You likely have experienced a version of the Changing of the Guard in your life, too. Perhaps the owner of a company where you worked has retired, or the company where you work gets a corporate overhaul. Your new boss wants to make sweeping changes to the ethos and philosophy of how business will be done from now on: it’s up to you and your colleagues to tow the corporate line to continue working there. In another scenario, if a parent gets a new job in another city or state, the entire family will probably pack up and move, too. The parent(s) will have to find a new place for the family to live and the kids will probably need to change schools. Or, if you and your partner go separate ways, it will be up to each of you to review and revise your expectations about which habits, behaviors and/or attitudes you will (and will not) tolerate in your future relationship(s). Unlike the previous examples, you will probably have more autonomy to determine what you will do next and when you will do it. Furthermore, you will be equipped with the wisdom you garnered from this relationship to create a more successful and lasting partnership with someone new.

            Like the Changing of the Guard, we must all adjust and even recalibrate specific aspects of our lives to adapt to the changes that invariably occur around us. Like the soldiers of Queen Elizabeth II’s palace guard, many times we don’t have a choice about how or whether to respond to a change; we simply do as we are told when we are told to do it. It is easy to follow these directions because these behaviors are likely already established knowns in your subconscious mind. If you have been doing a task or series of tasks over and over at work they are familiar, comfortable and even easy for you. This familiarity may even be comforting to you, since you know how to do “x” and have achieved a certain level of competence or skill in performing that task. However, when you are faced with a new situation or circumstance, the comfort of its familiarity is missing. Your new responsibilities are unfamiliar, unknown and painful. Even though the relationship is over, now that the person you are used to relying on for support, companionship and advice is no longer in your life, the absence of this known paralyzes you. You don’t know what to do, but you know you need to keep moving.

Whether we consciously know or are willing to accept or agree with the apparent purpose for the changes that occur in our lives, usually they are to our advantage. Our reflexive, knee-jerk reaction is to dislike or disagree with something new because it is unfamiliar and unknown. Yet, once we get used to that unknown—doing that new task, learn the company’s new rules, give ourselves permission to let go of a previous failed relationship—the rewards of this change typically exceed our expectations. For example, I was sad and annoyed when Jay Leno retired as host of The Tonight Show. I liked his jokes and humor; he was the late-night host that I knew best and felt comfortable with. Eventually, I accepted that it was time for Mr. Leno to retire and that NBC executives needed to change the guard in their programming to remain a competitive network. Of course, I’m glad, now, that I was able to accept this new change, because I found a “new” favorite late-night host in Seth Meyers (whom I already knew and liked from his stint on Saturday Night Live).

Personal growth and change are part of live and living. Even when all you want to do is stand still and keep doing what you have been doing all this time, force yourself to take a step forward and move out of your comfort zones. Look at it this way: these life challenges, or changes of the guard, are really opportunities for you to examine, evaluate and change/improve aspects of your life that aren’t working the way you want them to.

 

 

 

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014