Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “To the man who is afraid, everything rustles.” – Sophocles

• “I’m not interested in whether you’ve stood with the Great. I’m interested in whether you’ve sat with the Broken.” – Sue Fitzmaurice

• “You won’t get all life has for you if you don’t expect it.” – Bille Baty

• “Don't worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try.” – Jack Canfield

• “The only people who never fail are those who never try.” – Ilka Chase

• “Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.” – Drake

• “Until you get comfortable with being alone, you'll never know if you're choosing someone out of love or loneliness.” – Mandy Hale

• “When you can think of yesterday without regret and tomorrow without fear, you are near contentment.” – Old English Saying

• “Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.” – Helen Keller

• “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” – Socrates

 

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Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019

Practice What You Preach

 Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

                One of the most important components of having a “good” relationship with your (or any) horse is that you respect each other. I described the importance of respect in the human-equine relationship in my blog titled “When Respect Equals Love, Part 1” (May 21, 2014). I also suggested some techniques to increase your horse’s respect in the blog titled, “When Respect Equals Love, Part 2” (May 22, 2014). When we work with them, we expect the horse to identify us (humans) as their herd leader. We expect them to stays out of our personal space and to move in the direction we ask, when we ask. However, for this relationship to work we need treat the horse as a sentient individual that has its own emotions, thoughts and motivations. Even though we assume an assertive or even a dominant role in our interactions, ideally we communicate what we want the horse to do rather than dominate and try to overpower it to get our way. These attempts to overpower and force a horse to do what we want rarely, if ever, work. An average-size horse outweighs the average-size man by nine or ten times, it is capable of running 30 to 40 miles per hour, and it can land a very powerful (and potentially lethal) kick when it feels cornered.

                The irony is that we are probably more likely to be injured working with or around our own very gentle, docile and affectionate horse than another equine we don’t know as well at the barn where we ride. Why? Because the routine we have with our horse—grooming, riding, bathing, feeding, giving treats, etc.—is familiar, comfortable, a known. Many of us find that just being around our horse is incredibly relaxing and even comforting (I certainly do). But relaxation around horses can and often does translate into carelessness. We duck underneath our horse’s neck to get to and groom the other side of his body. We walk into the pasture to catch him while he is turned out with other horses, discounting or ignoring the fact that the treats we are carrying for our horse will also attract his herd-mates. This scenario could quickly become very dangerous if our horse and the other animals try to bowl us over to get to the treats. We forget (or neglect) to wear sturdy boots to the barn to make sure that our horses have been fed and have enough water for the night, and our diligence is rewarded with a gentle stomp on our unprotected instep. Or, you forget (or neglect) to put on a helmet before heading out on a short trail ride. When a bird suddenly, noisily explodes out of a nearby bush, your terrified (bombproof) gelding bucks, spins, and dumps you on the ground as he bolts back to the stable.

                Now, imagine a different scenario in which you are riding or grooming a horse that you don’t know very well. For example, I am almost a different person when I handle any horse other than my own. Whenever I lead my trainer’s stallions to or from the turnout, or groom or clip any of her other mares or geldings, it is like I am crossing every “t” and dotting every “i” in terms of following safety protocol. I don’t really know any of these animals as well as I do my own horse, which means that I must consciously (and subconsciously) be more aware that I should always be on my guard in case one of them, well, acts like a horse. I know each of those horses well enough to be able to identify their individual behavioral quirks and idiosyncrasies; but at the end of the day, even though each animal is bigger and stronger than me, when I am working with them I am the alpha in the herd.

                While we expect our horse to respect our role as the herd leader in the horse-human partnership, humans must reciprocate this respect for this relationship to be successful. Whether your horse is a hunter/jumper, cutter, dressage, endurance/trail horse, etc., he or she is a very intelligent and powerful and likely highly trained animal. The horse has opinions about what is going on around him or her, and has opinions about what he or she wants (or doesn’t want) to do. Even though we know, consciously, that our horse is not an oversized puppy, the kind of love he or she really needs from us does not come from the carrots we offer, or the kisses or the marathon grooming sessions we provide. Our horses need to know that they can’t push us around, run us over or scare us away from horses and riding forever when they shy because a leaf just crunched under their hooves. Even though we love and sometimes love “on” them, we must respect our equine partner(s) for being a horse and all of the physical and symbolic power this implies. And we will show our respect by being the leader they need us to be.

       

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014