Time for Quiet Reflection

Photo by Sara Fogan

                I do my best “thinking” when I am with my horse. As I described in a previous blog “Chilling Out With My Boy,” January 8, 2014), I don’t have to be riding or even grooming him to become uber-relaxed and inspired. Just watching Galahad play or graze with his herd-mates releases any tension or anxiety I may have been carrying around in my body. In response to this physical relaxation, my mind soon follows suit. Soon, all the answers to questions or doubts that have been niggling at me start to percolate up from my subconscious mind to my conscious mind, begging to be solved.

                I have found that spending time in a natural setting (ideally, at a barn) is a wonderful environment in which to do my mental house-cleaning. I liken this process to deciding which item(s) of clothing, books or CDs I will donate or sell to raise funds for one of my favorite charities to make room for everything I will acquire the next year. The process of accumulating so much stuff can take months, and deciding which item(s) I can bear to give up often takes even longer. However, the moment I decide that it’s time to make room in my home (and life) for those new goodies I am ready to part with my previous treasures. Knowing that someone else will be able to enjoy them one day removes some of the temporary sting of saying goodbye to those belongings.

Of course, sometimes it can be a little more difficult to bid adieu to my old expectations and beliefs about the “would have/should have/could have been” moments that may have somehow passed me by. But when I breathe in the scent of fresh hay and wild flowers and watch my horse languidly stroll to a new grazing spot, I see clearly that everything in my life is happening exactly the way it should be. I am literally fulfilling my lifelong goal of being a therapist; my opportunity to learn how to use hypnosis and guided imagery to help my clients achieve their goals is the gift that made my new career possible. Over the years, I have been able to significantly increase my patience and ability to tolerate and quickly resolve a minor stress in my daily life. I use/refer to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind almost every day. Whenever I feel that tug of reluctance to try something or go somewhere new, I remind myself, “As soon as I do this once, it will become a known and I won’t have to worry about it again.”

One of my former instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, the late Marc Gravelle, used to warn his students and clients about the never-ending pitfalls of “What if.” Nearly 10 years after I first listened to his reasons why and how this question causes unnecessary anxiety, not only do I understand and appreciate his philosophy, I am my own proof that this is true.

I wonder what new opportunities I will realize the next time I do some mental house-cleaning…

 

 

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2014

 

Release and Let It Go

 

 

 

Everyone lives in the context of a pain/pleasure principle. We prefer—and try—to do what makes us feel good (pleasure) and avoid the things that cause discomfort (pain) in the context of the “knowns” in the subconscious mind. For example, John Kappas, Ph.D., theorized that the SCM would categorize your 10-year feud with your siblings as pleasure (known) because it is so comfortable with all of the emotions it associates with this grudge.

When anger morphs into a long-term resentment, it is a habit. Like any other habit or behavior, it is something you learned. The great news is, since you learned how to feel angry about a particular situation or at a specific person; therefore, you can unlearn the anger response in that context. Following are some basic strategies I would use as a hypnotherapist to help the individual transform his or her anger response into one of forgiveness, healing and emotional and spiritual freedom.

·         I would describe the person’s strained relationship with the sibling in the context of Dr. Kappas’ Theory of Mind by way of explaining/helping the client to understand how he or she has substituted/emphasized anger at the sibling in order to avoid feeling any emotional pain that conflict caused.

·         Once the client is in hypnosis, I would help him or her to feel and acknowledge the hurt the original incident caused. I would also employ therapeutic-guided imagery and desensitization techniques to help the person work through the triggers that continue to incite the anger and hurt. I do not use age-regression techniques to bring up these triggers, I will desensitize the client only to the memories/associations that he or she remembers and has described during an alert/aware state.

·         I will use more deepening/relaxation techniques and guided imagery to help the person forgive him- or herself for having been in a position to have been hurt, in the first place. Next, I will use these techniques to help the client also forgive the other person for doing whatever he or she did to cause the original pain.

Marc Gravelle, a late instructor of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, once advised: “As long as you remain angry at a person, you’re giving him permission to control you physically, emotionally and intellectually. When you forgive the other person, you’re not giving him permission to do ‘whatever.’ He’s still guilty of doing that, but you (the client) can move on and the other person no longer controls you.”

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014