Family Roles

 To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus and COVID-19 variants, I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. Meanwhile, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on August 17, 2016)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

In my blog titled Family Systems Issues, I explained various behavior patterns that facilitate the continued function of dysfunctional family system. Keep in mind that children are born helpless; they will literally die if a parent or guardian is not around and available to take care of them. Consequently, a child will do whatever it takes to survive. To do so, he or she (subconsciously) adopts behaviors that attract nurturing attention—even to the detriment of the youngster’s own mental and psychological well-being. Today I will describe characteristics of the specific roles family members occupy in a dysfunctional family system.

The Hero: Someone in this role is a “parentified child” and usually the oldest sibling. The individual can become a workaholic and retreat into an ability to achieve or over-achieve. It seems like this person can never do enough or achieve enough and is usually a good student with a high need for approval. However, the person often experiences deep feelings of inadequacy, denial and fear. Heroes usually marry a dependent partner whom they can control and manipulate. Sometimes the person’s high need for approval can inspire the individual to take on tasks or perform jobs that inspire an employer to also depend on him or her.

The Lost Child: This person is never the trouble-maker; instead, he or she is “invisible” in the family. The individual survives by not being obvious in the family; the child avoids trouble, may be withdrawn and is often an emotional sexual personality. If the person is an only child, he or she may be a “parentified child” and the parent’s best friend. The Lost Child has trouble making friends and comes across as being very adult.

Mascot: The person in this role is characterized as a “chameleon,” willing to turn into anything or anyone the family wants and needs at that time. The individual thrives on attention and love. He or she can keep other members’ secrets and is dependent on others. He or she is likely to marry a “hero” in the partner’s family system.

The Scapegoat: This is the “problem child,” whose acting out manifests the stress/anxiety/unhappiness of the family. The individual typically has problems with authority and defiance behaviors are manifestations of underlying anxiety. When the roles of artist, scholar or bad child are already occupied in the family, this person occupies this other niche with very little self-esteem.

When there are behavioral issues with an individual in a family, the entire family is the client. In this case, the hypnotherapist should agree to work with the person only if the entire family also receives therapy from a licensed mental-health professional (Business and Professions Code 2908).

 

 

Limited-Time Special Offer: Free 30-minute Phone/Zoom Consultation

 January—the start of a new year—is a great time to fulfil New Year’s resolutions and complete projects you may have been putting off. Call/send me a text message at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation and find out why hypnosis and therapeutic guided imagery are such effective modalities to help you achieve your self-improvement goals and finish those projects! 

 

Offer valid through February 28, 2022. May not be combined with any other offer. Not redeemable for cash.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (July 2019, September 2020, July 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

Handwriting: Under Pressure!

 To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus, I am temporarily suspending in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, Skype and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on April 26, 2016)

 

 

Image courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

The April 25, 2016 installment of The Family Circus cartoon strip featured one of the characters, Billy, working on a homework assignment. When his mom asks why he is pressing so hard, the little boy explains that he wants his teacher to know that he means what he is writing. I knew right away that I had the topic for today’s blog. In addition to addressing what is literally meant in the written word, this scenario also addressed the (literally) unwritten part of communication that is so often ignored: what we mean by the words we use and what the reader understands or infers.

Let’s start with handwriting. As I have explained in my previous blog titled What I Look for in an Informal Handwriting Sample, handwriting—a manifestation of what we consciously think—is motivated by a subconscious ideomotor (automatic physical) response. In addition to the various characteristics of writing such as the form of the letters, letter slant, and straightness of the lines of writing, pressure of the sample is also very important. In fact, this is one of the first things I consider when I analyze handwriting. The presence or absence of significant pressure of the writing suggests that the person invested more or less “feeling” in what he or she wrote. This is identified by checking for the presence or absence of indentations on the opposite side of the page. These are comparable to reflections of the writing sample that can be seen and/or felt on the reverse side. Sometimes you can see the deep formation of the letters or even pin-holes of light where the pressure was so strong that it actually made tiny tears in the paper.

The second feature that interested me about this cartoon is about suggestibility. In the cartoon, Billy tells his mother that he wants the teacher to know (see) that he means what he has written by the amount of pressure he used to write his essay. This is a trait of a Physical Suggestible: I mean what I say and I say what I mean. His apparent emotional investment in writing this assignment is to appear honest or, at least, that he has completed the assignment to the best of his understanding when he answered the question. (By the way, all young children possess Physical Suggestibility.) However, the teacher may not equate the pressure of the pencil on the paper the way he intends her to do. For example, if she is an Emotional Suggestible she might infer that the deep indentations in the paper indicate that Billy was frustrated or even angry about doing the assignment in the first place. Or, she may interpret that the force of his writing reflects his deep interest about the essay topic or questions. If Billy’s answers are wrong or if he misunderstood the question he was supposed to answer in the assignment, the teacher may believe that her student was expressing frustration about what he has been asked to do. Then again, she may not even notice or care about this feature of his writing and grade the assignment simply on the accuracy or correct interpretation of the boy’s answers.

Finally, when I ask someone to provide a handwriting sample for analysis, I instruct the person to write about personally meaningful topic to get a good sense of the ideomotor response being activated. Copying information off of a document or providing the rhyme used to memorize position of letters on a keyboard activates only the conscious mind and does not reveal very much about the person’s subconscious behavior and personality. I don’t know how old Billy is in this sketch, but he looks very young. Even if he is writing an essay, the amount of original thought and analysis he puts into what he is writing, versus stringing related facts into a series of sentences, would depend on his age. It is more likely that Billy’s writing sample constitutes parroting back information versus sharing a new idea that would bear more insight into his subconscious mind. Finally, you can see in that he is writing on lined paper. Ideally, a handwriting sample is done on plain (unlined) paper so I can get a good picture of the natural slant of the person’s writing and width of their margins, etc.

For more information about handwriting analysis, check out the following blogs: Handwriting Analysis for Hypnotherapy; And Your Handwriting Says; And Your Handwriting Says, Part 2; Handwriting Analysis: Doodles; and When Illness Shows Up in Your Handwriting. If you are interested in getting a formal analysis of your own handwriting, please contact me at (661) 433-9430 or send an e-mail to me at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com.

 

 

Special Offer! Free, 30-minute Phone/Zoom Consultation

This month, I am continuing to offer a FREE, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation. This is a great opportunity to learn about hypnosis and how and WHY it is such an effective modality to help achieve your vocational and avocational self-improvement goal(s). Call/text me at (661) 433-9430 or send an email to calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free consultation! 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 and in September 2020 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2021

 

 

Physical vs. Mental Homeostasis During Yoga

 To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus, I am temporarily suspending in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, Skype and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on September 20, 2016)

 

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

I noticed something very interesting during yoga this morning. As I stood tall and still in the “mountain” position with my feet flat on the floor, I could just detect the tiniest of swaying motion of my body as my muscles and tendons worked to maintain my balance. These movements were so miniscule as to almost go unnoticed. But they were there: constant adjustments of the various muscles, tendons and internal organs to keep the body completely balanced and ready for anything. I could imagine the lightning-fast neural (subconscious) communication between my brain, inner ears and the muscles in my legs and abdomen as I consciously worked to hold this position.

This experience was just one example of how my body strived to maintain physiological homeostasis (balance) during the class. Other examples were increased breathing and pulse/heart-rates or adjust my stance when transitioning between poses or when I had to work harder to maintain more intense positions. And then something really interesting happened. About halfway through the class, even with the more intense positions and exercise, my breathing and heart-rate seemed to return to a more normal rate for me.  Even though I was still working hard, it was like my body had become used to this work and was compensating for/working more efficiently to achieve those positions.

Achieving mental/emotional homeostasis during the class was more challenging for me. Once I made the initial observation about how my body was working to stay in balance, my mind started racing. Wow! This is so interesting! I know what I will write my blog about tonight! It took a few breaths to get focused on what I was doing, and supposed to be doing: practicing yoga, not writing about it! Unlike my physical body, which automatically made adjustments to achieve homeostasis, my conscious mind had to intervene and bring my thoughts, emotions and focus back to what I was supposed to be doing in class.

Ultimately I did learn a very important lesson today: Even when my body (and mind) is completely still, it is always moving.

 

 

December Promotion: Quit Smoking with Hypnotherapy

Let hypnotherapy help you become a permanent ex-smoker! Package #1 is six sessions and helps you kick the habit gradually ($800 when paid in full, up front, including  the First/Intro session in the cost). Package #2 is one, two-hour session for people who smoke 5 or fewer cigarettes per day. Please go to the link below for prices and more details about each offer ($275, may be required to also do the First/Intro session if you have never been hypnotized before).

*These promotions may not be combined with any other offer. It is non-transferable and may not be exchanged for cash.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 and in September 2020 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2020