Practice What You Preach

 Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

                One of the most important components of having a “good” relationship with your (or any) horse is that you respect each other. I described the importance of respect in the human-equine relationship in my blog titled “When Respect Equals Love, Part 1” (May 21, 2014). I also suggested some techniques to increase your horse’s respect in the blog titled, “When Respect Equals Love, Part 2” (May 22, 2014). When we work with them, we expect the horse to identify us (humans) as their herd leader. We expect them to stays out of our personal space and to move in the direction we ask, when we ask. However, for this relationship to work we need treat the horse as a sentient individual that has its own emotions, thoughts and motivations. Even though we assume an assertive or even a dominant role in our interactions, ideally we communicate what we want the horse to do rather than dominate and try to overpower it to get our way. These attempts to overpower and force a horse to do what we want rarely, if ever, work. An average-size horse outweighs the average-size man by nine or ten times, it is capable of running 30 to 40 miles per hour, and it can land a very powerful (and potentially lethal) kick when it feels cornered.

                The irony is that we are probably more likely to be injured working with or around our own very gentle, docile and affectionate horse than another equine we don’t know as well at the barn where we ride. Why? Because the routine we have with our horse—grooming, riding, bathing, feeding, giving treats, etc.—is familiar, comfortable, a known. Many of us find that just being around our horse is incredibly relaxing and even comforting (I certainly do). But relaxation around horses can and often does translate into carelessness. We duck underneath our horse’s neck to get to and groom the other side of his body. We walk into the pasture to catch him while he is turned out with other horses, discounting or ignoring the fact that the treats we are carrying for our horse will also attract his herd-mates. This scenario could quickly become very dangerous if our horse and the other animals try to bowl us over to get to the treats. We forget (or neglect) to wear sturdy boots to the barn to make sure that our horses have been fed and have enough water for the night, and our diligence is rewarded with a gentle stomp on our unprotected instep. Or, you forget (or neglect) to put on a helmet before heading out on a short trail ride. When a bird suddenly, noisily explodes out of a nearby bush, your terrified (bombproof) gelding bucks, spins, and dumps you on the ground as he bolts back to the stable.

                Now, imagine a different scenario in which you are riding or grooming a horse that you don’t know very well. For example, I am almost a different person when I handle any horse other than my own. Whenever I lead my trainer’s stallions to or from the turnout, or groom or clip any of her other mares or geldings, it is like I am crossing every “t” and dotting every “i” in terms of following safety protocol. I don’t really know any of these animals as well as I do my own horse, which means that I must consciously (and subconsciously) be more aware that I should always be on my guard in case one of them, well, acts like a horse. I know each of those horses well enough to be able to identify their individual behavioral quirks and idiosyncrasies; but at the end of the day, even though each animal is bigger and stronger than me, when I am working with them I am the alpha in the herd.

                While we expect our horse to respect our role as the herd leader in the horse-human partnership, humans must reciprocate this respect for this relationship to be successful. Whether your horse is a hunter/jumper, cutter, dressage, endurance/trail horse, etc., he or she is a very intelligent and powerful and likely highly trained animal. The horse has opinions about what is going on around him or her, and has opinions about what he or she wants (or doesn’t want) to do. Even though we know, consciously, that our horse is not an oversized puppy, the kind of love he or she really needs from us does not come from the carrots we offer, or the kisses or the marathon grooming sessions we provide. Our horses need to know that they can’t push us around, run us over or scare us away from horses and riding forever when they shy because a leaf just crunched under their hooves. Even though we love and sometimes love “on” them, we must respect our equine partner(s) for being a horse and all of the physical and symbolic power this implies. And we will show our respect by being the leader they need us to be.

       

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Energy Exchange

 

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft 

You have the power to change (raise or lower) the energy in a situation
so you feel more relaxed and comfortable. 

                Perhaps you have heard or even used one of these expressions: “He has great energy”; “You give off a good vibe”; “there is a charge in the air when you’re around”; “she rubs me the wrong way”; “I have a very bad feeling about this”; or, “I feel very comfortable when I am around you.” These are just a few examples of how people experience emotional energy in their environment.

                I am not talking about energy in the context of lightning or electricity as depicted in the photo that accompanies this blog. Rather, “energy” in this context refers to that primal and subconscious reaction to another person or a situation. This reaction may be one of attraction or repulsion; it may change (positively or negatively) over time. Whenever energy is very big and not controlled, even positive energy can overwhelm, confuse and frustrate you. Low energy can make you feel depressed, anxious and suffocated. The great thing about energy in either context is that you have the power to change (raise or lower) it so you feel more relaxed and comfortable. Here are a few easy techniques to help you do this.

·         Square breathe. Draw a deep breath through your nose and hold it for the count of 4, 3, 2, 1…and release the breath slowly through the mouth. Continue breathing like this to/until you feel centered (relaxed, patient, focused and confident) to deal with the person or situation that is affecting you.

·         Use these seconds that you are drawing and expelling each cleansing breath to think about what you will say or do in response to the emotionally charged person you are dealing with and/or to actually change the energy around you.

·         If you feel overwhelmed (negatively or positively) by the energy around you, hold your right (or left) forearm in front of you and make a quick slicing motion in front of you. (You can also perform this action to each side and behind your body.) I use this technique every time I conclude a Reiki (energy) healing session to ensure that I separate from the other person or animal’s energy, when we are done. You should immediately notice a sensation of release and greater relaxation once you have literally cut off the connection with the intrusive energy.

·         Match your level of activity (tone and cadence of speech, intensity of the same behavior, etc.) and then slowly, gradually start to lower or raise your level of energy. As you change your energy level, the other person(s) will subconsciously start to match your behavior in a similar way to how you consciously matched their behavior to effect this change.

 

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.