Parataxic Distortion

 

                Imagine that you are having a conversation with your partner or spouse about your plans for the weekend. The conversation is relatively banal until the other person casually mentions that you still haven’t replied to the neighbor’s invitation to their party on Saturday. “Are we going or not?”

Bam! It’s like someone flipped a switch in you. Just like that, the joking mood and light-hearted banter evaporate in the heat of your sudden, apparently inexplicable rage: “Why are you asking me? You sound just like my mother. Why can’t you ever make a decision about what to do?”

Or, you are watching a movie in happy, relaxed silence when your companion starts whispering (loud) comments about the film in your ear. Another person in the audience glares at you and hisses, “Sshhh!” even though you haven’t said a word. You are furious that you have been blamed for the disturbance—especially because this incident is so like that time you were punished for talking during silent-reading period at school (twenty years ago), and you didn’t say anything then, either. Your companion, who is indifferent to the other movie-goer's annoyance and oblivious to the memory it has triggered in you, is hurt and confused because you barely speak to him the rest of the night. Didn’t you like the movie?

                These are examples of a parataxic distortion response: a reaction to a subconscious memory that is totally unrelated to the person or incident that you are responding to. Anything from the tone of voice in which a question was asked, a facial expression or the specific words that another person used could trigger this reaction. The power of this emotional response are likely to take the person responding this way by surprise, not to mention the unintended target(s) of this reaction.  

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Suggestibility on Prime Time

 

                Did you watch the 86th Academy Awards on television Sunday night? Remember when host Ellen DeGeneres asked viewers to retweet the group “selfie” picture that host Ellen DeGeneres took of herself with a handful of Oscar nominees during the broadcast? Did you do it? If so, you weren’t alone: according to a CNN report, 2.7 million people took on her challenge, and the Twitter platform actually crashed for a few minutes. The event was undoubtedly a major advertising and publicity triumph for the Oscars and the company that manufactured the camera they used to take the shot (Samsung)—not to mention the host. This incident was also a great opportunity for me to illustrate how suggestibility and hypnosis work in real life.

                In my January 16, 2014 blog about hypnotic modalities, I explained how an authority figure could create a hyper-suggestible state in another person and use this state to persuade that individual to behave in a particular way. (If you have ever gone car shopping, you have likely experienced this kind of sensory overload.) She may not have literally sold an item to her audience, but Ms. DeGeneres did a very handy demonstration of group hypnosis with just a few elements naturally occurring elements:

1.       She had authority. As the Oscar host, Ellen DeGeneres had access to all areas of the stage and the audience in the auditorium. A celebrity herself, she also had charisma and charm that helped her to build a rapport with the guests as well as television viewers at home.

2.       She had a message. The role of any host at a party or event is to help the guests feel at ease and have a good time so that, hopefully, they will want to come back again. The Academy Awards may be an American event, but it is known around the world. No doubt the Academy and the television network wanted to receive positive reviews and feedback so they could do this again, next year. What better way to get this message out than to take a photograph of some of your guests having a good time and share that image with everyone you know (or who wishes they knew you)?

3.       There were plenty of environmental stimuli to overload the subconscious mind and create the hyper-suggestible state: the excitement of being nominated for or having won an Academy Award, or the disappointment of not winning that Oscar, after all; the visual overload of being surrounded by beautiful people wearing beautiful clothes; the amount of time the nominees had already spent posing on the red carpet before the awards began; the anxiety/stress that they must have been experiencing while they waited for the award to be bestowed in their category; waiting and wondering who would win an Oscar; the glamorous environment in the Kodak Theater and the stage… You get the picture.

4.       Ms. DeGeneres used the right language to get the group of nominees to do the photo with her. Not only did she have the advantage of being the host for the night, but she knew how and when to cajole one of the A-list actors sitting in the front rows to join the group. Soon, some actors just jumped into the shot without waiting for an invitation.

5.       Watching the scene from home on our televisions or computers, etc., it looked like everyone in the shot was smiling and having fun. Didn’t you wish you could have been in on that picture, too? (Or one just like it, but with your friends and family?) When Bradley Cooper finally snapped the picture, the audience at home and in the theater was ready and waiting to be asked (or told/playfully challenged) to retweet the image so many times that Twitter couldn’t cope with all the traffic.

6.       And hey, presto: 2.7 million people accepted and acted on Ellen DeGeneres’ suggestion.

Now, that is impressive.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Dealing with Disappointment

                At some time in our lives, each of us experiences a disappointment. It hurts; it can even make us angry, because that thing or person or event that you wanted or expected to happen, falls through. Perhaps you did not make the football team or cheerleading squad this year. Your “dream” college rejected your application. The love of your life and the person you believed to be your future spouse turned out to be just a summer romance. You were one of the few Academy Award nominees on your award-winning movie who did not receive an Oscar tonight. How did you handle this disappointment? What did you do?

                Since you were born, your subconscious mind has learned and knows only two kinds of responses: pleasure and pain. In the context of the examples above, when you get what you want (or worked or wished for), you may experience pleasure. When you don’t get these things, you may experience pain in the form of disappointment. This pain may feel, be or seem exponential if you have experienced similar disappointments in the past. After all, if this kind of thing has happened before, your subconscious mind must know how to “do” this, right? Or, what if your subconscious mind just takes this message unit (e.g., failure at, disappointment at) and stockpiles it as a "known" for the next time you’re in a similar situation?

Everything you had and then lost—or almost had and then lost—last night, last week, last month, last year felt like the worst of the worst kind of pain you have ever experienced. But, you got through that pain (somehow) and went on to triumph in another way, on another day, right? You must have, because you are reading this blog right now. You will get up again tomorrow morning, too, and start over again, because that is what your subconscious mind also knows how to do. Your subconscious mind works, wants and loves to please you. This is true even when it seems like your SCM is hanging onto memories of this pain and repeating your negative, mental chatter as if to sabotage next time’s chance for you, too.

                Hypnotherapy and therapeutic guided imagery are great ways with which to deal with a disappointment, because both tools give you direct access to the area where the emotional reaction to that experience has occurred—your subconscious mind. During hypnosis and guided imagery, you can explore alternative scenarios to what happened and other ways you could have responded in this situation, including possible benefits to not have realized this particular dream. (For more information John Kappas, Ph.D.’s technique of “Turning it around,” read my February 19, 2014 blog.) While you are in this relaxed state, you can also learn a new response to disappointment: replace the old response (e.g., hurt, anger, sadness) it with “X” (a positive, optimistic, etc. emotion of your choosing) for having an opportunity to experience “Y.” Then, anchor the new emotion to the sensation of feeling relaxed, comfortable, etc. that you experienced in hypnosis or during your guided-imagery journey, so the next time your wish for today didn’t come true, you can feel relaxed and positive about still being in the game for next time.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Oh, I Love a Rainy Night!



Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

                This week, finally, it rained in Southern California. Not just a drizzle or the light showers that have been passing for rain for the past year or so. Oh, no. We got a heavy downpour on Wednesday night and then, today—all day—we got real, honest-to-goodness, I-mean-business rain. And I couldn’t be happier about it.

                Just like Eddie Rabbitt sings in his hit song, “I Love a Rainy Night,” rain quite simply makes me feel good. It washes the metaphoric cobwebs out of my mind the way it cleans the months-old accumulation of dirt and dust off of the leaves and plants outside. Best of all, rain gives me an opportunity—okay, an excuse—to really enjoy some down time and relax. I allowed myself to sleep in this morning. Then, I spent a good part of the afternoon snuggling up in front of the hearth with a mug of hot chocolate and read a novel I’ve been trying to finish.

I also love the way rain energizes me to choose to do things I have been putting off. Earlier this evening, I organized my hypnotherapy library—including books about health and nutrition, relaxation and general motivation. In fact, I got so motivated that I even tackled about 10 years’ worth of books and magazines about horses/animal husbandry, riding and horse-training, which I reference when I work with my equestrian clients.

Rain even inspires me to start a new project: while I wrote this blog, I finished downloading and printing the handbook for Cheryl O’Neil’s “Healing the Inner Child Within” Hypnosis and Imagery course. Tomorrow, I will be a student again!

                But, tonight, I will fall asleep listening to the music of rain on my windows and, fingers crossed, the sound of thunder rumbling and crackling overhead.

I love rain…

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Hypnotherapy for Children and Teenagers

                Over the years, many of my clients have wanted to work on similar self-improvement issues: increase self-confidence/self-esteem, improve sport performance, increase focus/memory, manage fears and phobias, or to overcome social anxiety. The majority of these clients have been adults. However, I can and do work with children and teenagers. For the most part, a child’s hypnotherapy session is very similar to the grown-up’s: I discuss what behavior(s) the person would like to change, and I use the context of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind to explain how the current, unwanted behavior was established—and how it will be replaced by a more effective, desired strategy. During hypnosis, I provide general suggestions for relaxation and guided imagery that is specifically tailored for my client. Following are some of the major differences between my hypnotherapy work with children (under 18 years old) and adults:

1.       I must have a signed consent document from the child’s parents in order to work with anyone under 18 years old. If the parents are divorced and share custody of the child, both parents must still sign a consent-release form which I provide. If only one parent or has custody of the child, the legal guardian must sign the document.

2.       The parents and legal guardians have a legal right to know some details about the hypnotherapy that their child or teenager is receiving. They also have a right to know whether the minor is using drugs or engaging in underage sex or dangerous behavior, or is threatening to harm him- or herself or others.

3.       I respect the youngster’s right to privacy and confidentiality whenever possible, but I also encourage the individual to confide in his or her parents, if/when it is appropriate.

4.       When I work with minors, I always invite my client’s parents or guardian to be present during the hypnosis.

5.       The amount of time a young child will spend in hypnosis during the hypnotherapy session will be much shorter than what an adult or even a teenager will spend. While I typically use breathing/relaxation exercises to induce hypnosis in all of my clients, I also employ some kind of eye-fascination technique to hypnotize a child under age 14. (I usually do not use eye-fascination techniques to induce hypnosis in an adult).

 

Finally, as a certified hypnotherapist, California law allows me to provide hypnotherapy as a complementary or alternative treatment to help my clients to achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals (Business and Professions Code 2908). If your child or teenager’s issues are, or become, beyond my scope of expertise as a hypnotherapist, I will refer you to a licensed medical doctor or psychologist for further evaluation and/or treatment.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2014

Feeling Blocked

 

                Sometimes, there are no words. No musical notes. No freedom of movement. Your muse has disappeared; your inspiration has taken flight. Suddenly, there is no obvious way for you to tap into all of the inspiration that you have worked so hard to cultivate. What should you do, now?

                Whether you write, paint, draw, sculpt or dance, hypnosis is a fabulous tool with which to release blocks in your creativity because these arts are an expression of the subconscious mind. Here are some practical suggestions to help you get back your creative mojo.

·         Practice diaphragmatic breathing. Draw a slow, deep breath through your nose, hold it the breath for four seconds and then release it through your mouth. You know you are doing this technique correctly if only your abdomen puffs out a little when you inhale; the shoulders should remain even and still when you breathe. Repeat this process several times until you feel the tension in your body start to release.

·         Take a walk or do some kind of exercise to take your mind off the project you are working on. As you focus on the physical activity you are doing, give yourself permission to know and believe that your inspiration will be waiting for you when you return to your desk, easel, etc.

·         Visualize or imagine that you are working on your project. Where are you working? What does the room/space look like? What are you wearing? Who/what is in the room with you? How does the room smell? What is the ambient temperature? How does it feel to handle/work/mold the materials you are using? What is your body doing, and how does this feel? The more details you can provide in this exercise, the richer the visualization will be and the more “real” this creative process will feel for your. Remember: The subconscious mind does not know the difference between fantasy and reality, so imagining or pretending how you will do something is a great way to rehearse doing that activity in the real world.

·         Just start working on the project. Even if your conscious mind hasn’t completely formulated what you want to say, do or express, the physical action of starting/doing this work will reinforce the creativity and technical skills (knowns) stored in your subconscious mind. The most effective way to trigger or re-activate these behaviors is to do them!

·         Give yourself permission to accept whatever you create during this exercise regardless of the form it takes. Your finished product may or may not resemble the project you originally envisioned, but that is okay. This version could be even better than the one you first imagined!

You are not the first person to ever experience a creative block at a crucial moment, and you will not be the last. You can and will break through that wall to tap into your creativity and imagination once more. Remind yourself that you have all of the skills, talent, etc. to overcome whatever is challenging you right now and create something wonderful. Every other project you have ever worked on began as a thought or inspiration. Where did that inspiration come from? Probably the same place that this one you are starting to have right now in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1….

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Release and Let It Go

 

 

 

Everyone lives in the context of a pain/pleasure principle. We prefer—and try—to do what makes us feel good (pleasure) and avoid the things that cause discomfort (pain) in the context of the “knowns” in the subconscious mind. For example, John Kappas, Ph.D., theorized that the SCM would categorize your 10-year feud with your siblings as pleasure (known) because it is so comfortable with all of the emotions it associates with this grudge.

When anger morphs into a long-term resentment, it is a habit. Like any other habit or behavior, it is something you learned. The great news is, since you learned how to feel angry about a particular situation or at a specific person; therefore, you can unlearn the anger response in that context. Following are some basic strategies I would use as a hypnotherapist to help the individual transform his or her anger response into one of forgiveness, healing and emotional and spiritual freedom.

·         I would describe the person’s strained relationship with the sibling in the context of Dr. Kappas’ Theory of Mind by way of explaining/helping the client to understand how he or she has substituted/emphasized anger at the sibling in order to avoid feeling any emotional pain that conflict caused.

·         Once the client is in hypnosis, I would help him or her to feel and acknowledge the hurt the original incident caused. I would also employ therapeutic-guided imagery and desensitization techniques to help the person work through the triggers that continue to incite the anger and hurt. I do not use age-regression techniques to bring up these triggers, I will desensitize the client only to the memories/associations that he or she remembers and has described during an alert/aware state.

·         I will use more deepening/relaxation techniques and guided imagery to help the person forgive him- or herself for having been in a position to have been hurt, in the first place. Next, I will use these techniques to help the client also forgive the other person for doing whatever he or she did to cause the original pain.

Marc Gravelle, a late instructor of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, once advised: “As long as you remain angry at a person, you’re giving him permission to control you physically, emotionally and intellectually. When you forgive the other person, you’re not giving him permission to do ‘whatever.’ He’s still guilty of doing that, but you (the client) can move on and the other person no longer controls you.”

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014