The Recipe for a Successful Long-Term Relationship

(This blog was originally posted on September 29, 2016)

Photo by Rick ustead

Hypnotherapists are not allowed to give relationship “counselling.”* However, it is okay to provide relationship “strategies” for clients who are experiencing conflicts in their romantic partnership. For example, I typically describe characteristics of the Emotional and Physical Sexuality/ personalities and how they behave in the context of a relationship to all of my clients. I also outline the seven key factors of a successful romantic partnership. Last but certainly not least, I might offer the following suggestions:

• Speak real words of appreciation to your partner every day. For example, “Watching you with the children, I can go to work knowing they are taken care of.”

• Gossip. Talk to your partner/spouse about what went on during your day. Share information, anecdotes etc. When your partnership is based in love, it is actually very sexy to hear that someone else find’s your significant other attractive, too!

• Ask questions for information, not to criticize the other person. Never talk to your spouse/lover in a way that you would address your kids.

• Request for change. The way you deal with anger during a conflict is very important. Don’t speak to your partner the way you would never speak to your best friend. No name-calling, no belittling. The relationship has to be built on respect.

• Share fantasies and dreams and visions of the future. 

*Business and Professions Code 2908: California law allows access by California residents to complementary and alternative health care practitioners who are not providing services that require medical training and credentials. The purpose of a program of hypnotherapy is for vocational and avocational self-improvement (Business and Professions Code 2908) and as alternative or complimentary treatment to healing arts services licensed by the state. A hypnotherapist is not a licensed physician or psychologist, and hypnotherapy services are not licensed by the state of California. Services are non-diagnostic and do not include the practice of medicine, neither should they be considered as a substitute for licensed medical or psychological services or procedures.

Special Offer: Trauma Relief Hypnotherapy

I am currently offering a 25% discount off the first hypnotherapy session for active/retired military personnel and first-responders (including fire-fighters, police officers, ambulance/EMT personnel, and EMS dispatch operators) through November 30, 2018.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018

The Recipe for a Successful, Long-Term Relationship

Photo by Rick Hustead

Hypnotherapists are not allowed to give relationship “counselling.”* However, it is okay to provide relationship “strategies” for clients who are experiencing conflicts in their romantic partnership. For example, I typically describe characteristics of the Emotional and Physical Sexuality/personalities and how they behave in the context of a relationship to all of my clients. I also outline the seven key factors of a successful romantic partnership. Last but certainly not least, I might offer the following suggestions:

·         Speak real words of appreciation to your partner every day. For example, “Watching you with the children, I can go to work knowing they are taken care of.”

·         Gossip. Talk to your partner/spouse about what went on during your day. Share information, anecdotes etc. When your partnership is based in love, it is actually very sexy to hear that someone else find’s your significant other attractive, too!

·         Ask questions for information, not to criticize the other person. Never talk to your spouse/lover in a way that you would address your kids.

·         Request for change. The way you deal with anger during a conflict is very important. Don’t speak to your partner the way you would never speak to your best friend. No name-calling, no belittling. The relationship has to be built on respect.

·         Share fantasies and dreams and visions of the future.

*Business and Professions Code 2908: California law allows access by California residents to complementary and alternative health care practitioners who are not providing services that require medical training and credentials. The purpose of a program of hypnotherapy is for vocational and avocational self-improvement (Business and Professions Code 2908) and as alternative or complimentary treatment to healing arts services licensed by the state. A hypnotherapist is not a licensed physician or psychologist, and hypnotherapy services are not licensed by the state of California. Services are non-diagnostic and do not include the practice of medicine, neither should they be considered as a substitute for licensed medical or psychological services or procedures.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Your Own Room

 

                In my blog titled 7 Keys to a Successful, Long-Term Relationship, I described seven characteristics of a successful relationship. Each of these factors is equally important in this context, but one—separate interests—is imperative for ensuring individual growth in and outside of the relationship. Let me explain.

                Whether we are discussing a platonic friendship or a romantic partnership, two people enter a relationship because they are attracted not just to the similarities and mutual interests they share but also the differences between them. The expression “opposites attract” really is true: We are attracted to people who possess skills, characteristics and experiences that are different from our own. It is natural to consciously adopt some of the other person’s interests and to subconsciously mimic some facial expressions, mannerisms and beliefs during the course of the relationship. After spending time together, people tend to focus on and emphasize those similarities as a way to demonstrate that their relationship really is meant to be. (Have you ever noticed how couples that have been together for a long time, such as your parents or grandparents, even start to look alike?)

Ironically, when one (or both) of you forfeits your unique traits or interests to be more “like” the other person the relationship may falter. Rather than closing any space between you, abandoning your individuality can inadvertently cause the other person to lose some interest in you. Whether the relationship continues to thrive or eventually ends, you want to have a foundation on which you can continue to enjoy doing the things you always have, with or without the other person in your life.

If you want share a healthy relationship with someone else, start by nurturing your relationship with yourself. What do you enjoy doing? What do you want to do or never do again? Meditate, work with a hypnotherapist or practice self-hypnosis and explore what is important to you. How much are you willing to compromise on an issue or even sacrifice an activity or belief, in order for the relationship to thrive? Give yourself permission to make room in your life for you, and practice doing something for yourself every day. Maintain and grow your self-confidence by expressing an opinion or asking questions about an issue if something doesn’t make sense to you. Give yourself permission to experience every emotion as you feel it. Sing, dance, laugh, and cry. Be present in every moment. The more interested and engaged you are with the world around you, the more interesting you will be and become to people in your life.

You will be interesting to yourself, too.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015