Your Definition of Success

 

 “The secret of success is to be ready when your opportunity comes.” – Benjamin Disraeli

 

                Everybody has a different idea about success. You might define success as having a loving family and being surrounded by good friends. For some people, being successful means that they have achieved a high status or received accolades for their work. For others, success means earning a lot of money and being wealthy. Regardless of how you define it, it is unlikely that you are the only person in your environment that has an opinion about what success really means. And, once again, your (and everyone else’s) definition of success comes down to your mental script and the subconscious knowns that created it.

                John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind explains how a person’s early-life experiences create the subconscious knowns that form the foundation of his or her life script. Our understanding and experience of success is created the same way. From a very early age, we associate a literal or metaphoric value to specific events that occur during our lifetime. Perhaps we are lavished with verbal praise and profuse expression of affection from a parent or caregiver when we do well, or we are given a monetary reward for earning good grades at school. Over time, we create an association between that thing we did well (or poorly) and other people’s response to that behavior. We also learn to associate our own feelings (pride, shame) about that performance and people’s response to what we have done. Furthermore, as we create an intrinsic association between our valuation of success and failure, and reward and consequences, we also develop expectations about how other people should value that kind of performance. Our self-confidence and self-esteem may even take a hit when other people do not acknowledge the quality of our work.

                Regardless of the way you consciously evaluate, describe and categorize success, your subconscious mind has troves of associations between your idea of it and how it physically, emotionally and even spiritually feels to “succeed.” Even if you have recently experienced myriad financial setbacks, if your known association of success means having a good job and earning a high salary, your subconscious mind is primed to seek and recognize an opportunity to have that, again. If your idea of success is to have a loving relationship and fulfilling family life, trust your subconscious “knowns” of this experience to attract this for you again. However, if your subconscious life script isn’t consistent with your goals, dreams or expectations, maybe it is time to rewrite that script. Changing your strategy for achieving your goals does not mean you have succeeded any less. Rather, you have probably scored a greater achievement for recognizing something wasn’t working and making appropriate adjustments to make your dream come true. Going back to Former British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli’s sage advice, the secret to success—whatever your definition of it may be—is to always be looking for and ready to take a good opportunity when it is presented. The outcome may be even better than the one you originally imagined.

               

               

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

 

 

Mimicry. Imitation. Communication.











Photo by Jennifer Berkowitz

 

                I recently witnessed something very interesting. While I was hanging out with my horse yesterday, a crow sitting on a branch in the tree beside me started to imitate the “honk” of some geese that belong to a neighbor next door to my trainer’s property. I know that crows are exceptionally bright, but I have never seen or heard anything like that. I don’t believe that this was just a case of mimicry, either: the crow deliberately honked to the goose several times as if trying to get the other bird’s attention. When it finally responded, the crow honked right back a few times and then waited for the goose to communicate again. Meanwhile, another crow nearby cawed at the original one in the tree; the first crow responded in kind a few times and then resumed its calls to the goose. How cool is that?

                This incident made me think about the different ways people imitate each other’s voices in speech and in song. Not just the words someone else says but also even the tone, pitch, rhythm/cadence, volume of the words and even regional dialect or accent. Why do we do this, and how—and when—do we know that we are getting it right? For example, when I lived in England while I worked on my post-graduate degree, I gradually developed a slight lilt in my voice. I didn’t notice this change in my speech until I returned to the United States and people commented that I had developed a cool accent while I was away. This change made perfect sense, as the people with whom I worked, lived and socialized were British; over time, my subconscious mind accepted these accents as a new known and I eventually adopted it (or a version of it) as my own.

Similarly, I often sing along when a favorite song comes on the radio or my iPod. My conscious mind knows that I do not sound anything Celine Dion, Annie Lennox, Katy Perry, Bon Jovi or Tim McGraw, but I still try to imitate those singers’ voices. Why won’t my subconscious mind let me give up that ghost and sing without trying to sound like someone I’m not? Even when I consciously try to sing in my own voice, in the back of my mind I can still imagine hearing what one of those performers sound like and I catch myself trying to sing the same way.

                My answer to that question may be found in Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind. Dr. Kappas stated that from the moment we are born we start to develop a subconscious life script by learning specific behaviors through association and identification. Even though most of this script is written by the time we are about eight years old, the mind continues to take in more information which the subconscious mind may accept or reject. For example, we learned how to talk by associating and identifying specific words that a primary caretaker taught us, and then we imitated this behavior (e.g., how to move our mouths to create words) to speak. Over time, we also modeled other people to learn and correct our pronunciation and increase our vocabulary. Many parents or caretakers sing to their young children, which may explain people’s fondness for listening to music and singing, or participating in these activities ourselves. And, just like we did when we learned how to speak, once we learn the words to a song we like we subconsciously imitate the way the singer performs the lyrics.

                I wonder if the crow I observed yesterday was unintentionally imitating the neighbor’s goose to communicate with the other bird the same way humans do in speech and song.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 



Data Management

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 24, 2014)

 

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

                No matter what you do, even if you don’t try, you learn something new every day. The question is: What will you do with this new information that you have just learned?

                For example, imagine that your car’s gas gauge is almost on empty, so you pull into a gas station to fill up your tank. You notice that the cost of unleaded gas is up four cents from last week’s listed price, which triggers a familiar (known) emotional response of anger/frustration and even anxiety about the cost of fuel. What you do about or with this information will depend on how badly you need the fuel right now and whether it is/will be available when you are ready to make the purchase. Your actions will also be influenced on how you have handled similar situations in the past: Just fill up the tank and resolve this inconvenience, buy just enough gasoline to keep you on the road for a few more days, or drive around to look for a better price at a different station.

                Your subconscious mind likely knew exactly what you would do before you made the conscious decision to just fill up the tank. Even though your first instinct would normally be to look around for a better (cheaper) price, you decide to just buy the gas right now. Southern California is in the middle of a heat-wave, the Labor Day traffic is likely to be heavy today as people are returning home after their long weekend. You don’t want to risk getting stuck on the road in 100-plus degree temperatures. Also, if a lot of other nervous drivers have the same idea, you might have to drive around forever looking for a station that has a better price, but it could already be sold out of gas before you get there. Even though you are still annoyed that you had to spend so much more money to buy the fuel than if you had shopped around a bit more, you are relieved that the tank is full, and you no longer have to worry about getting stuck in bad weather.

Remember: Every sensation you perceive provides a catalog of information about your environment and how/where/why you fit into that situation. The conscious mind identifies this data (stimuli) as a “known” or “unknown” message unit; the subconscious mind is more likely to accept or reject the information/behavior if it is already in your repertoire of knowns—and you will act accordingly. Furthermore, no matter what you do, you will be creating a new and/or reinforcing a previous known behavior in your repertoire.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Hypnotherapy for Children and Teenagers

(This blog was originally posted on February 27, 2014)

                Over the years, many of my clients have wanted to work on similar self-improvement issues: increase self-confidence/self-esteem, improve sport performance, increase focus/memory, manage fears and phobias, or to overcome social anxiety. The majority of these clients have been adults. However, I can and do work with children and teenagers. For the most part, a child’s hypnotherapy session is very similar to the grown-up’s: I discuss what behavior(s) the person would like to change, and I use the context of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind to explain how the current, unwanted behavior was established—and how it will be replaced by a more effective, desired strategy. During hypnosis, I provide general suggestions for relaxation and guided imagery that is specifically tailored for my client. Following are some of the major differences between my hypnotherapy work with children (under 18 years old) and adults:

1.       I must have a signed consent document from the child’s parents in order to work with anyone under 18 years old. If the parents are divorced and share custody of the child, both parents must still sign a consent-release form which I provide. If only one parent or has custody of the child, the legal guardian must sign the document.

2.       The parents and legal guardians have a legal right to know some details about the hypnotherapy that their child or teenager is receiving. They also have a right to know whether the minor is using drugs or engaging in underage sex or dangerous behavior, or is threatening to harm him- or herself or others.

3.       I respect the youngster’s right to privacy and confidentiality whenever possible, but I also encourage the individual to confide in his or her parents, if/when it is appropriate.

4.       When I work with minors, I always invite my client’s parents or guardian to be present during the hypnosis.

5.       The amount of time a young child will spend in hypnosis during the hypnotherapy session will be much shorter than what an adult or even a teenager will spend. While I typically use breathing/relaxation exercises to induce hypnosis in all of my clients, I also employ some kind of eye-fascination technique to hypnotize a child under age 14. (I usually do not use eye-fascination techniques to induce hypnosis in an adult).

 

As a certified hypnotherapist, California law allows me to provide hypnotherapy as a complementary or alternative treatment to help my clients to achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals (Business and Professions Code 2908). If your child or teenager’s issues are, or become, beyond my scope of expertise as a hypnotherapist, I will refer you to a licensed medical doctor or psychologist for further evaluation and/or treatment.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2014

 

Great Expectations

(A version of this blog was originally posted on January 31, 2014)

 

 

It is Friday night. Perhaps you have just completed your work week; or, maybe you just clocked in for the first of several night/closing shifts at one of your jobs. The promise of Saturday and Sunday—the weekend—looms large. Will you have time to complete all of those projects you promised your spouse that you would definitely, absolutely complete by Sunday night? Does the company you work for give its employees Labor Day off so you can enjoy a long weekend hanging out with your friends and family? Perhaps your boss refused to give you that day off, after all, and now you are bound and determined to remain in a foul mood all weekend so others can know how angry and frustrated you are. Or, are your friends and colleagues amazed that, yes, you are actually very happy to have to be working or on-call at work because you are thankful to have a job in the first place.

Believe it or not, your subconscious mind largely determines everything that you will do this weekend, from whether you will have the weekend “off” or will be at work. The “knowns” in your subconscious mind will influence whether you get together to celebrate the unofficial end of summer. Your subconscious mind influences whether you will make a genuine effort to fix the kitchen cabinets or ultimately postpone the project another week. Your subconscious mind influences which tasty tidbits you expect to be served at the annual Labor Day Block Party: you really don’t want to attend, but you just can’t resist Domino’s pizza and Buffalo wings combination and, anyway, it would look really bad if you are the only person from work who is a no-show.

Finally, the mental scripts, or “known” beliefs and behaviors, in your subconscious mind will determine how you react to everything that occurs this weekend. A rule in physics states: “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” Similarly, over the years you have learned that specific relationships exist between emotions about/reactions to a specific, related event: If my team wins a championship, I will be happy; if it loses, I will be sad/angry/etc. If I do my best, hard work to complete a project that I promised to do for my spouse, I will feel good about this work, my spouse will be happy and this task is over; if I do not complete this job, everyone will be angry and defensive. If you attend the block party and the food is as tasty and wonderful as you expected it to be, you might find that you will have a better time at the event than you expected; but if the host only provides chips and salsa (or any/every other dish other than the one you wanted), you will wish you never showed up in the first place.

This weekend, why not try something different to break this chain of expectations and behaviors? Before you start your shift at work or when you get home and kick off your shoes to relax on the sofa, or before you head out for that barbecue, take several slow, deep breaths. Visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you are doing “x” activity, and you feel relaxed and comfortable the entire time. You are focused on doing your very best at work or to complete a chore at home. You see yourself smiling and enjoying yourself as you socialize and with the people around you. Visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you see yourself being polite and enjoying yourself with your neighbors. Since the subconscious cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality, allow this visualization exercise to create new “knowns” in your mind and become your new reality or experience.

I hope you have a great weekend!

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Client Cooperation

 

(This blog was originally posted on March 6, 2014)

 

Whether you want to change a behavior to improve your health or you simply want to learn how to relax, hypnosis is an effective, natural and drug-free tool that facilitates behavior change by accessing the subconscious mind. However, you must want to change your behavior in order for hypnotherapy to work.

As I explained in my December 27, 2013 blog, “suggestibility” is how we communicate and learn. Even though you can be suggestible to many people, you are most suggestible to yourself. Therefore, I incorporate the specific words/expressions you used to describe your emotions and motivations/desire to effect the desired change when I craft your hypnotic script (suggestions). This means that you will be hypnotizing yourself.

Many people wonder if hypnosis will really work—and how it can work—on someone who has a razor-sharp mind and such a strong will (i.e., a stubborn streak) like theirs. Even though it is natural to subconsciously resist the process of becoming hypnotized at first, these initial doubts may even help to deepen your relaxation and comfort once you enter the hypnotic trance. However, you will not successfully change your behavior if you do not want to make this change.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

 

Depression and Diet

 
 

                In his book, The Professional Hypnotism Manual, Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D. wrote that some symptoms of depression are also symptomatic of a physiological condition of low blood sugar. These symptoms include insomnia, perception of loss of ability/inability to control the environment and anxiety. There are many reasons why someone might have low level of sugar in the bloodstream, including eating too many carbohydrates and not eating enough protein, or even drinking alcohol or taking drugs. However, continuous physical or emotional stress is also a common culprit of this condition, Dr. Kappas warned.

                He wrote that the perception of lack of control, which is often a precursor to depression, can be induced when the mind is overloaded by message units from the subconscious mind, conscious mind or body. Similar to slipping into hypnosis, “Depression is the tail end of escape for someone who is in conflict,” the hypnotherapist said.

                People whose depressive symptoms are caused by low blood sugar can relieve these symptoms by changing their diet to include more protein. “You have to start stabilizing the mood swings,” Dr. Kappas said. However, even if you treat the physiological condition you must still confront the depression. As a certified hypnotherapist, it is out of the scope of my professional expertise to diagnose or treat depression or any other illness that may have a psychological or physiological basis. Therefore, I do and will refer clients to an appropriate licensed medical or psychology professional to determine the cause and/or treat that specific physical symptom. However, once this other expert has ruled out a medical etiology of your symptom, with a follow-up referral from that licensed professional, I may continue working with you in hypnotherapy to help alleviate and/or control these symptoms.

 

 

*California law allows access by California residents to complementary and alternative health care practitioners who are not providing services that require medical training and credentials. The purpose of a program of hypnotherapy is for vocational and avocational self-improvement (Business and Professions Code 2908) and as an alternative or complementary treatment to healing arts services licensed by the state. A hypnotherapist is not a licensed physician or psychologist, and hypnotherapy services are not licensed by the state of California. Services are non-diagnostic and do not include the practice of medicine, neither should they be considered a substitute for licensed medical or psychological services or procedures.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014