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Thursday, February 2, 2023

Inner Wisdom

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on April 8, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

“Would you like to meet Sophia?”

I opened my eyes and looked around the waiting room. I must have dozed off while I waited for my friend to finish her doctor’s appointment, because an older woman was suddenly standing directly in front of me, nodding and smiling. She had on pink scrubs and was holding the leash of one of the biggest Standard Poodles I had ever seen. I sat up straighter in the hard plastic chair and blinked a couple of times. I hadn’t slept well last night—okay, at all—and, I admit, the chance to catch a quick nap was a welcome respite. I had been very stressed and worried about my friend these past few weeks, and I almost resented this interruption. However, once I shrugged off my sleepy confusion and oriented myself in the room, my irritation melted away. I suddenly noticed the gentle, warm pressure of the dog’s chest and right shoulder leaning into my right shin. Sophia’s long, delicate chin rested on my knees and she looked up at me with soulful brown eyes.

The woman gave her dog a loving scratch behind the ears. Sophia pressed her right shoulder even closer against my leg and let out a soft sigh. “Go ahead and pet her if you like. Sophia is a therapy dog. She will stay with you as long as you like, or until you get up if you have to go.”

“No, I’m good.” I noticed that I was smiling as I leaned over to rub the dog’s shoulders, patting and stroking her the way I gently scratch my horse’s withers. The large waiting room had suddenly shrunk to the three or four feet of space that Sophia, her handler, and I were occupying. The tightness and tension in my shoulders bled away as I also released a slow, steady exhale. I could tell right away—from these physiological changes going on in my body and the sense of deep relaxation that I was feeling—that I had drifted into a light form of hypnosis. What was happening? How did this dog and her handler know how much I needed this encounter at that moment?

Animals’ intuition never fails to impress and astound me. Throughout my life, my cats always seem to know when I am sick. They stay close to me and curl up beside me on the sofa or in bed, feline versions of Florence Nightingale that are determined to keep a close eye on me until I recover. My horses—first, Geeves and now Galahad—always become very protective and even careful around me when I am not feeling well or if my confidence wavers during a ride. Similarly, when my mom and I met Monty Roberts at an Equine Affaire in Pomona, California event many years ago, Mr. Roberts explained that his Mustang, Shy Boy, always sought out people in the audience who seemed to need a little special attention. Well, that little Mustang came right over to my mother and me. I definitely hoped that he would come over to us; but my mom was especially excited and emotional about this encounter.

Today, I just had a sense that the dog was singling me out for this attention, because she was suddenly there in front of me, looking at me, nuzzling me. Since I had been sleeping when this pair entered the waiting room I don’t know how many people they had already visited before they got to my corner against the wall. But once Sophia came over to me, she stayed in the same position pressed against my legs for at least 20 minutes. There were a few other patients sitting nearby, but I was the person the dog and her handler hung out with for so long. Even when other patients and their children came over to meet her, Sophia stayed close to me. I wasn’t even officially a patient today, but I definitely needed and appreciated the kind of gentle comfort that she was able to provide for me.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call or text me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation* today!

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

Wednesday, February 1, 2023

And the Wisdom to Know the Difference

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on April 4, 2014)

Photo by Sara R. Fogan, CHt

Sometimes, it seems like one of the most powerful human desires is the one for control. We want to control some aspect(s) of our social or physical environment. We want to control our behavior. (Hey, that’s what hypnotherapy is good for, right?) Or, we want to control (change) someone else’s behavior. Can hypnotherapy help you achieve each of these goals?

My scope of expertise as a hypnotherapist is to help my clients achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals. There is really no way to control or change specific aspects of a physical environment—such as the weather or climate where we live—unless we physically move out of the area. Most of us can’t even rearrange the furniture or décor in the lobby at work without having to get permission from the employer and/or the building’s landlord. Similarly, none of us has the ability to control someone else’s behaviors or beliefs if that individual doesn’t want to make this change. However, we can use hypnotherapy and guided imagery techniques to help us replace our own unwanted habits or belief systems with behaviors that are more effective for us. The skills you practice and learn in hypnosis can also help you adapt to, cope with and even flourish in a challenging personal, social or work situation over which you have no control. Your ability to remain relaxed, focused and calm in this context will significantly reduce or even eliminate any personal effects that the tension in this situation may cause you. You may even find that this ability to control your emotions in this way indirectly influences (changes) the way other people around you behave.

Before the next scheduled interaction with the person or exposure to that environment, work with me in hypnotherapy to help you desensitize to the negative stimuli associated with that encounter. Give yourself permission to let go of any grudges, bitterness or other negative associations you have with this situation. Give the other person(s) permission to own their critical, negative, etc., nature or beliefs that they have previously expressed to you. Then, visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you are as relaxed, calm and focused when you have that encounter as you are while you are in hypnosis. Anchor that image of yourself responding in a positive, confident and controlled way with the relaxed and comfortable sensation you are enjoying in hypnosis so you can access your new calm and “in control” demeanor when you need to. Even if the other person’s behavior or attitude does not significantly change at that time, you will be better equipped to deal with that challenge.

I liken this attitude and technique to the Serenity Prayer. Most of the time, each of us can change our behavior and, in so doing, truly change a negative or challenging situation into a positive or mutually rewarding experience. Sometimes, we can do absolutely nothing about the circumstance except to just get through it by changing the way we perceive and respond to it. The key to a successful outcome in either circumstance is having the wisdom to know what kind of attitude adjustment we can make at that moment.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Tuesday, January 31, 2023

Body Language

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on October 28, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

I am fascinated by a new television advertisement for mobile (cell) phone services. In the ad, a group of potential customers puts a representative of a major, national phone company through her paces as they ask about various communications features that the company offers. Viewers are led to infer that the prospective customers are real-estate agents, because each of them is professionally rand sports a tan blazer with a large emblem of a house on the left side of the jacket. The group pretty much verifies the identity of their vocation when one of the women says, “Let’s close!” and they all cross their arms over their chest and grin. But it is what the customers and the sales representative say with their bodies throughout the ad that is of greatest interest to me.

Throughout the ad, the phone-company representative matches every physical and facial gesture that her prospective clients make. As a customer’s voice lilts at the end of a question, the salesperson uses a similar lilt in her response. When one person points a finger to make a point, the sales rep makes the same movement during her explanation. Someone steeples her fingers across her midsection; the sales rep makes the same gesture. Another person in the group nods and raises her eyebrows; so does the sales rep. When the camera pans back a little, viewers can see that she has even adopted a similar stance as she stands with the customers. At the end of the advertisement when one of the customers crosses her arms and announces they will all take (“close”) the deal, her colleagues look at her and immediately imitate the crossed-arms gesture.

I like this ad because it is such a fabulous demonstration of how people mirror someone’s behavior in order to build rapport with someone. If your job entails selling products or services, you probably recognized every sales technique depicted in the advertisement I just described. You don’t have to be a salesperson or a customer to identify with what went on. We mirror each other’s various behaviors—facial expressions, physical gestures, patterns of speech—all the time, often without realizing that we are doing it. These actions are like a “fast track” to building rapport with someone you would like to get to know better. People are naturally attracted to others who behave or seem to think like they do.

Think about a conversation you have had recently: Did you nod at some point during the conversation or lean forward in your seat as if to listen to your companion’s words even more closely? And did your companion then lean his or her body closer to yours, return your nod or mirror a hand movement that you were previously unaware of having made? Did you notice when your spouse or friend took a step forward, backwards or sideways to mirror your stance, or raised or lowered his or her voice to match the tone of yours? These are examples of mirroring, and mirroring is a subconscious (or conscious) behavior that creates rapport and can facilitate social bonds by reinforcing similarity or familiarity between you. Rapport is an inherent and necessary component of every kind of relationship; it is the cornerstone upon which every relationship is built. It is only when we establish rapport with someone are we likely to explore the similarities and differences between us, and know whether we want to spend the time and energy to create a social, romantic, or professional relationship with that person. Without rapport, we cannot come to trust, respect, like or communicate well with him or her, and a relationship—or a successful sale—is unlikely to result from the interaction.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Monday, January 30, 2023

80/20 Ratio

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on April 5, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

There is an unwritten guideline in hypnotherapy that the client should do most talking (about 80 percent) compared to listening to the therapist, while the hypnotherapist will do the most listening compared to talking (20 percent). Furthermore, during hypnotherapy, it is the client’s “responsibility” to describe the motivations for seeking this therapy, desires about changing an unwanted behavior and to express emotions about and during this therapeutic process. Similarly, it is the hypnotherapist’s “responsibility” to listen to what the client is saying and use this information to create an effective hypnotic script that will facilitate the achievement of the person’s therapeutic goals. This policy is very important for several reasons.

First, when someone comes in for hypnotherapy, that individual is not only looking for a possible solution to help change an unwanted belief or behavior. The person is also subconsciously looking for and needs a space in which to vent his or her emotions—a sounding board, if you will—to explain how and why the habit started in the first place. The last thing the client needs is to wonder if the expert from whom he or she is seeking help is somehow subtly dismissing those concerns by comparing them to the hypnotherapist’s own issues. At that point, the client would be justified in wondering whether the therapist’s problems might be more significant than his or her own. This is also the point at which rapport and trust are destroyed.

Second, especially during the cognitive (alert and aware) portion of the hypnotherapy session, the hypnotherapist needs to focus on what the client is saying to create the hypnotic script. This script is based on the key words, metaphors and even emotions that the client expresses to describe his or her self-improvement goals and motivations. During the cognitive portion of the first session, I reassure my hypnotherapy clients that they will essentially hypnotize themselves based on the words and motivations to change an unwanted behavior, which I incorporate into the hypnotic script. As I explain in my previous blog titled Creating Your Hypnotic Script, we are all most suggestible to ourselves. Conversely, if the hypnotherapist does most of the talking, the hypnotic script is less likely to be effective because the client’s subconscious mind does not recognize these motivational words, phrases, and images as his or her own.

Third, unlike traditional forms of psychotherapy such as licensed marriage and family therapy, psychology and licensed social work or even psychiatry hypnotherapy is not “talk therapy.” According to the Business and Professions Code 2908, hypnotherapists must provide hypnosis during the therapeutic session. In addition, they must also seek a referral from these professionals if a client wants to address an issue outside of the scope of hypnotherapy. Our role as hypnotherapists is to help our clients find solutions to problems and achieve vocational and avocational goals by working with the subconscious mind in hypnosis, not discussing these issues in a cognitive, alert and aware state.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Thursday, January 26, 2023

Never Say "Never"

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

This blog was originally posted on January 29, 2014

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

When I was at college, my friends used to joke, “Never say ‘never’, because that is an absolute guarantee you will do what you say you will never do!” Oh, how prescient that advice turned out to be. Now, I understand why.

The subconscious mind does not understand irony. It does not get a joke. It will try to fulfill whatever messages it receives. Whatever you say or think, it takes literally and conveniently ignores terms such as never, not, won’t and can’t. For example, I occasionally make the mistake of thinking or saying to myself, “I will not fall off my horse today.” Guess what? I do fall—or come very close to it. Some people might say those are examples of a self-fulfilling prophecy, but isn’t a self-fulfilling prophecy an example of a person behaving in a specific way to achieve the subconscious mind’s goal—essentially, a subconscious mental script that we have been following all of our lives?

When I work with my hypnotherapy clients, I teach them how to frame (or re-frame, as the case may be) their thoughts and self-talk so they are always giving themselves a positive message or suggestion. Rather than say, “I can’t be late for this meeting!” tell yourself, “I will leave five minutes earlier so I will be on time for my meeting.” Or, in the context of my first example, I now tell myself, “I am a strong rider. I can stay on my horse and have a good ride.”

Your subconscious mind will work just as hard to fulfill a positive goal as it will to achieve a negative one, so why not set it up for success, right from the start?

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Tuesday, January 24, 2023

All About the Mental Bank Concept

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on September 4, 2019)

According to John Kappas, Ph.D. everyone follows a subconscious mental script. This script is created very early in our lives, and we will behave and even think in ways that are consistent with it even when the script does not facilitate achievement of our personal goals. Fortunately, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder created The Mental Bank Concept, which posits that each of us can change the script from what we are, to what we want to or should be.

In addition to the intended benefit of changing our mental script, he promised that by doing the ledger we would also start to earn more money, or even receive monetary gifts to boost our real income. I clearly remember the inference in current HMI Director George Kappas’s challenge to the class as he speculated about how many people would actually spend two minutes each night before bed writing in our Mental Bank Ledger. After all, is two minutes’ of writing before falling asleep too big a sacrifice to make to improve your life, especially when your efforts for self-improvement are measured by earning more money in the process? When the class broke up for a break, I was one of the first people in the room to rush down the corridor to purchase a ledger.

This is how the Mental Bank Concept works: Each night, right before you go to bed, you will allocate a value (symbolic money) to specific behaviors, activities or events that have occurred during the day. You can “pay” yourself for going to work, working out at the gym/exercising, spending time with your family, attending a religious service of your denomination, etc. It doesn’t matter what the activity is so long as they reflect your efforts to change your subconscious mental script and achieve your new, positive behavior or goals. Then, you will write an affirmation to reinforce these behaviors and encourage you to continue to make these changes.

In creating the Mental Bank Concept, Dr. Kappas intended that people write in the ledger just before going to sleep because this is one of the times during the day that we are most suggestible, or amenable to learning. (The other time is the first 30 minutes after waking up in the morning.) The suggestions for the desired behavioral change will bypass the critical mind and drop right into the subconscious mind; the SCM will continue to process these thoughts and behavioral changes throughout the night, he explained.

Although this process is very simple, many adults are very reluctant (subconscious resistance) to change their lives using the Mental Bank Concept, Dr. Kappas observed. “Only 30 percent of adults will ever change their original script. Everyone else passes the pattern on. To change the behavior, you must change the subconscious script,” he warned.

I have been following the Mental Bank Concept since 2004, and it does work. The more subconscious and conscious work I do to achieve my goals, the more self-confident I feel every time I accomplish one and the greater the tangential (monetary) rewards I receive. For more information about The Mental Bank Concept, check out this video link.

Contact me today at (661) 433-9430 or send e-mail to calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up an appointment to experience how hypnotherapy and the Mental Bank Concept can help you achieve your goals. I will provide your first Mental Bank Ledger to help you get you started!

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Thursday, January 19, 2023

Marketing and Promoting Hypnotherapy

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on May 9, 2014)

Someone recently contacted me to find out more information about hypnotherapy and whether hypnosis could help him to achieve a particular goal. We chatted for a while, and I gave him some information about hypnotherapy and how I use hypnosis and therapeutic guided imagery to help my clients achieve various vocational and avocational self-improvement goals. At the end of our conversation, he wanted to know where he could read more information about my experience as a certified hypnotherapist so he could make a decision about whether to give hypnotherapy a try. I gave him my business card and brochure and referred him to the website for my company, Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, so he could read more about me and what I do.

After we said goodbye, I thought about our conversation in the context of the best and most effective ways to disseminate information not just about my practice but hypnosis and hypnotherapy in general. Even though it is becoming a more mainstream therapy, I am aware that people are still a little wary about hypnosis. They want to know if they will become vulnerable to some kind of mind control or manipulation while they are in hypnosis. Will they do or say something stupid or embarrassing, or break a confidence or reveal a bank password while they are in-state? (The answer is no, no, no and no.) But the fact that these concerns remain prevalent suggests to me that my colleagues and I need to continue to share the facts and dispel the myths about what we do.

One of the best ways to do this is through conversations with people about what we do. Here are some suggestions for the most effective ways that I have found to share this information:

Advertise and write blogs/articles: I limit my advertising budget to a few equestrian-themed publications. However, I write a hypnotherapy-themed blog just about every night to keep spreading the word about the many ways hypnosis and John Kappas, Ph.D.’s model, Theory of Mind, are generally relevant to daily life. I specifically tailor the topics of my essays to illustrate how the therapeutic techniques I learned or behaviors I studied during my training and continuing education at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute are relevant to my (and your!) daily life. I let people know when I have written a new blog by posting a short “announcement” about it on Twitter, LinkedIn and on my personal and business Facebook accounts. I also provide a link that will take you directly to the blog on my website.
Business cards and brochures: These are still among the most effective (and immediate) ways to promote your practice. I always carry business cards with me to give out. I have “rented” space at my local tack store to display my cards for prospective equestrian clients. I also leave a business card on the condiment table every time I go to Starbucks®.
Donate hypnotherapy session(s) or handwriting analysis: Hypnotherapy sessions and/or formal handwriting analyses are unusual (and intriguing) prizes in a silent-auction or raffle at a fundraiser or social event. The best way for people to learn about hypnosis is to experience it. I recently donated a free hypnotherapy session with me as a silent-auction prize for a horse rescue in Leona Valley, California; to raise awareness about the package and market my practice, I spent a wonderful afternoon doing handwriting analyses for guests at the event, as well.
Volunteer your time and skills to support local organizations: In addition to introducing your work to people who may not know about hypnotherapy, volunteering is a wonderful way to provide this valuable service to those who might not otherwise be able to experience it for themselves. I have previously led a free monthly relaxation/guided-imagery workshop at Circle of Hope, Inc. and Hope’s Haven Cancer Wellness Center, a 501(c) cancer-support group based in Santa Clarita, California.
Dress code: Hypnotherapists, as therapists, follow professional codes of ethics and conduct. Wear clothes that best represent what you do as a therapist and your commitment to this work of helping your clients achieve their goals. Wearing your name badge while running errands, etc. is another great way to market your profession.
Marketing materials: When I am out running errands on the weekend, I typically wear a baseball cap with my company name and website on it. I want people to ask me about the words they are reading so I can tell them about what I do and how hypnosis is an effective tool to help people change undesired behaviors.
Network in the community: Introduce yourself to local chiropractors, masseuses, hairstylists, yoga instructors, your bank, dry cleaners, etc. Let people know what you do, where you are located and how much you charge for your sessions. Even other hypnotherapists can be a great source of referrals if you specialize in different areas than they do: e.g., hypnosis to improve sports performance versus smoking cessation. This morning on my way to a meeting at a local Starbucks® I approached two firefighters who were parked nearby to ask if I could buy them a coffee in thanks for all they are doing to combat the fires in the community. At the end of the conversation, I also gave them each a business card.
Professional affiliations: Keep up your professional affiliations, such as the American Hypnosis Association, the Hypnotherapists Union, your local chamber of commerce, etc. In addition to providing professional support these organizations will often “link” your website with theirs. (Be sure to return the favor!)
Professional and client referrals: At some point in our career as a hypnotherapist, we may need to refer a client to a licensed medical doctor or mental health worker for further evaluation or to provide assistance that is out of our scope of expertise. Similarly, once the physician has ruled out any medical causes of his patient’s headache, he may refer the patient to you as a hypnotherapy client so you can help him manage the stress that causes his pain. Previous and current clients are also excellent referrals!
Promote your practice through social media: I am active on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn, and I write posts about various topics. Of course, I have provided information about my practice, Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, on these accounts. However, it is not necessary to “talk shop” all the time to get attention for your practice. Several of my Twitter followers have become specifically interested in what I do, but only after we had been communicating about our mutual interests for many months.
Website: A good website goes a long, long way to “market” you to a wide population. Be sure to update the site periodically by posting new client referrals, updating your professional certifications and even changing the photographs or design to refresh the search programs.
Honors and Special Recognition: I have been voted “Best Hypnotherapist” in Santa Clarita four years in a row: 2019, 2020, 2021 and 2022. Each year, usually in the late Spring or early Summer, the Santa Clarita Valley Signal identifies local businesses as the “best of” across various categories based on nominations and votes cast by SCV citizens. I am so grateful to current and former clients, and other businesses in the community who have recognized me this way as I continue to provide hypnotherapy to help people achieve their vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.
Finally, another great way to generate interest in your hypnotherapy practice is to provide special discounts for your services. For example, you can promote “special deals” to coincide with the anniversary of the creation of your practice, to kick off a holiday or a season, etc., or to promote a new therapeutic technique. This is the promotion I am currently offering:

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.