In a Manner of Speaking

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

If you exaggerate any aspect of your voice when you hypnotize someone,
these kinds of affectations could sabotage the rapport you share with your client.

 

                The voice is one of the most important tools that are used during a hypnotherapy session. The words that a hypnotist uses in the hypnotic script are important in terms of conveying which behaviors the client is changing or replacing, and how or when this is being done. However, the subconscious mind also perceives and processes a lot of this information through the delivery of this script—in other words, the way these words are expressed and communicated. Since the SCM does not know the difference between fantasy and reality, it is imperative that the hypnotic script expresses what the client means, and means what the person says he or she wants to achieve through this therapy.

·         Choice of words: I specifically create each hypnotic script for every one of my clients. Most of this material comes from the key words or phrases that the person uses to describe his or her emotions, motivations or desires to change an unwanted behavior. Then, I tailor the suggestion to reflect the client’s emotional or physical suggestibility (how the person learns) to facilitate his or her subconscious mind’s ability to process and integrate this information. For more information about how I create the hypnotic script, please visit my blog, “The Hypnotic Script” from March 26, 2014.

·         Tempo/rhythm: Sometimes I alternately increase and decrease the tempo or rhythm of my speech to emphasize different aspects of the hypnotic suggestion. In hypnosis, the subconscious mind is particularly aware of these differences in my speech and will process these subtle (or not-so-subtle) inflections as a reinforcement of the hypnotic suggestion.

·         Timbre and tone: I will also vary the timbre or tone of my voice in relation to the content of the hypnotic suggestion that I am giving to the client. For example, I typically use a maternal or soft tone when I facilitate a “special place” guided-imagery journey for my client. However, I will use a paternal or more forceful tone when I help a client work through negative emotions or associations through the arm-rigidity suggestion.

During hypnosis, the subconscious mind is even more sensitive to and aware of subtle changes in the environment than it is during an alert, wide-awake state of conscious awareness. Consequently, the client will know the difference between the “normal” speaking voice that the hypnotherapist uses during the cognitive portion of the session and an artificial, pseudo-European accent he or she puts on to do hypnosis. The therapist does not need to exaggerate any aspect of his or her voice to hypnotize someone. However, these kinds of affectations could sabotage client-therapist rapport if the person perceives that the hypnotherapist is being disingenuous because his or her speech during hypnosis is suddenly, radically different from the rest of the session.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Making Friends

“There are no strangers here; only friends we haven’t met yet.” – Irish proverb

 

                It can be challenging—and stressful—to enter an unfamiliar social environment. Whether it is your first day of college, you are starting a new job or you have just joined a special-interest group Facebook, the prospect of introducing yourself and striking up a conversation with a stranger can be daunting. Everything is an unknown entity, from the linoleum tiles on the break-room floor to operating the copying machine to learning the organizations rules and bylaws. Furthermore, most if not all of the other employees or group members already know each other and are familiar with how the organization is run. They have probably already created friendships or even cliques in that group. In addition to an obvious group leader, such as a teacher or department supervisor, another member may also occupy an unofficial, self-appointed leadership role and help to “run” the organization when the boss is not around. As you become familiar with your new role and responsibility in the group and learn (and try to remember) everyone’s names, you wonder: Now that I am “in” this organization, how do I truly join it?

                Even if you feel shy, even if you feel unsure, remember this fact: every other person in this group has likely been where you are and felt like this at some point. Consequently, most if not all of your team will make an effort to include you and help to make you feel comfortable and welcome in the organization. On my first day working as a proofreader at a national martial arts magazine, the editorial team took me out for a pizza lunch.

Go out of your way to make conversation and reciprocate gestures of kindness. For example, one of the assistant editors at the magazine created a seating chart for me to indicate the work stations of everyone in the company. She even included the names of the men who ran the warehouse, the accountant and art-project coordinators who worked off-site. I was so touched and inspired by this gesture that I created a similar seating chart to help out every other new employee throughout the years that I worked at that company.

                One way to boost your confidence is to physically change your posture: stand up straight with your shoulders back, and hold your head up high. This conveys to others that you have a strong sense of who you are and what you are about, what you stand for. Even if you don't actually feel this way, your body is “acting” as if you do. Since your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between fantasy and reality, you can pretend to be confident until your mind actually starts to actually feel self-confident.

              Another strategy is to think about or focus on the reason(s) why you are attending a particular university; remind yourself why you are working at this company or joined this particular social network. It is likely that you had to undergo some kind of application and/or interview process to get accepted to the college or to be offered your job. You demonstrated that do possess the skills, knowledge, talents and other attributes that will benefit the university or corporation of your choice. Anyone who wrote a letter of reference to support your college or job application will have believed this, too! Similarly, you were attracted to that social network because you share a common (mutual) interest with other members in that group. If another member had to invite you to become a member of a “closed” group, this is further validation that you have something to offer them and strengthen the quality of that organization.

                Remember to take care of your body—not just during those first days or weeks when you are finding your way around, but every day. Eat well-balanced meals that include protein and reduce your intake of caffeine or alcohol to help balance your mood and stave off sudden drops in blood-sugar level, which is associated with elevated levels of anxiety. Be sure to get enough sleep at night and take deep breaths (diaphragmatic breathing) to circulate the oxygen in your bloodstream throughout your body and further relax you if/when you feel nervous or anxious.

Finally, as your level of relaxation and self-confidence begin to grow in this new environment you have chosen—remember, you want to be here!—allow yourself to smile and say hello to the other people in your group. A new friend is likely just a “hello” away.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Watching Blackfish, Part 3

 

For me, one of the most interesting aspects of watching Blackfish with my family was seeing their reactions to the marine biologists’ and former SeaWorld trainers’ interviews. For many trainers, their attitudes about orca captivity evolved over the years, starting with genuine excitement, pride and love for the work they did training and performing with the killer whales. They explained how they loved to share their passion and knowledge about the orcas with park visitors; they loved the bonds they had created with the animals in their care. Eventually, however, the only reason they continued this work was so they could continue to care for the animals, because their real-life, behind-the-scenes experiences at the park were very different from the happy image the public saw in advertisements.

During the film, I watched as my nephews experienced a similar wave of emotion about the park. Afterward, they asked why people still go to marine parks to watch orca, dolphins and other marine mammals perform in a show when someone can just take a whale-watching trip and see the animals in the wild. Here are a few reasons why these parks remain popular:

·         Whether you are talking about zoos, ocean-theme parks or circuses, animal entertainment is a “known” entity for a lot of individuals. These venues have always been around (or so it seems). Many people visit them with their families as part of a family vacation, and then recreate this positive experience with their own children, a generation later. These visits represent a familiar experience of comfort, love, family time, etc.

·         Hypnotic modalities also influence our beliefs and behaviors. As I explained in my Hypnotic Modalities blog (January 16, 2014), three factors contribute to an hypnotic modality: 1) The other person has authority over you or perceived control over the environment; 2) The other person has an important theory, model or logic that makes some sense to you; and 3) The other person overloads you with so many message units or stimuli that you start to go along with whatever he or she is saying. (This is how the hypnotic state is created.) For example, people who visit marine parks and watch the orca performances might experience sensory overload from the bright colors or lights, loud music, cheering, smell of popcorn or other snacks, and even the sensation of heat from the sun, drizzle or a breeze as they sit in the stands. Those audience members who are sitting close enough to the pool will even enjoy the sensory experience of being soaked the orca smacks his or her tail against the surface of the water at the end of the performance (sensation overload). An orca trainer or other park representative wearing the park uniform/wetsuit and a microphone (authority) would narrate what the audience will be watching during the performance and provide specific details (facts/information) about the animals (doctrine). And then, of course, the audience gets to experience the performance, including being soaked by a spray of water when an orca smacks his or her tail on the water at the end of the show. In this closed environment, it is easy to understand how and why people get caught up in the excitement and supposed mystery of these performances. After all, how many people do you know get to work and interact with a killer whale? Even the former trainers who were interviewed in Blackfish conceded that, at the beginning, they believed what they had been taught about orca behavior during their training and happily disseminated this information to their audiences.

Like those trainers who eventually saw through the misinformation about these animals in the doctrine they had been taught, my nephews came to their own decision about whether captivity is harmful to the physical and emotional well-being of orca. As we all watched the documentary, I saw them ride a tide of curiosity and laughter to skepticism, outrage and sorrow that mirrored that of those trainers. During the course of these three blogs, I have described the subconscious thought processes likely helped to formulate their (and your) intellectual and viscerally emotional responses to Blackfish, whatever that response happened to be. For more information about this game-changing film, visit http://blackfishmovie.com/.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Watching Blackfish, Part 2

As a practicing hypnotherapist, I spend a lot of time wondering, exploring and analyzing facets of behavior so I can create an effective hypnotic script that will help my clients to achieve their vocational and avocational self-improvement goals. I admit that this has become a subconscious, occupational behavior for me in a lot of non-clinical contexts, too. No matter where I am or what I am doing, I automatically contextualize every behavior and emotional reaction in terms of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s models of suggestibility and sexual personality. Yesterday was no different. As I settled into my seat on the sofa to watch Blackfish with my mother, sister and her two sons, I was as riveted by my family’s responses to what they were watching as I was by the content of the documentary. I described their responses to the film in yesterday’s blog (Watching Blackfish, Part 1; 4/27/14). Today, I will explain the “hows” and “whys” behind my and my family’s behaviors and reactions to Blackfish as well as those of people who were interviewed for the film in the context of Dr. Kappas’ model of suggestibility and hypnotic modalities.

Suggestibility: Suggestibility (how we learn) is established by the age of 14. The primary caretaker—typically, mom—influences what type of suggestibility the youngster develops. (For more information, see my “Sources of Suggestibility” blog on 12/28/13). My sister, mother and I tried very hard to not reveal our emotions or thoughts about the film to the boys so they could to come to their own conclusions about Blackfish’s Big Question: Do orca belong in captivity? At age 10, the youngest was still very “physical” (direct and literal) in his interpretations of what he was watching. The orca trainers were shown smiling, nodding and enthusing about the information they were providing during a SeaWorld performance. The orcas’ mouths were open as if they were smiling, too. My nephew perceived that everyone was having a great time and he asked his mother to take him to the park one day. The picture of smiling people saying that they and the animals were having fun was consistent with what he knows (a known) as being happy or having fun.

 A little and while later in the film, a former trainer described the day a three-year-old orca calf was separated from its mother. The baby was being shipped to another park, and its mother was inconsolable with what the trainer and other marine biologists interpreted to be grief. How did we, the audience, trainers and the biologists know that the mother was experiencing grief? The orca was making a plaintive, screeching noise over and over again, which the scientists identified as calls of distress and even long-distance location calls previously heard when wild orca are looking for a lost member of the pod. The trainer who witnessed the separation and just about everyone who knew that a child had just been forever separated from its mother (and vice versa) only needed to watch and listen to her to understand what was going on. This was a great example of emotional suggestibility (audience and observers), who saw the emotional pain in one creature and then interpreted and internalized this distress as if it were our own. My youngest nephew was visibly distressed to see and learn that the baby would never see its mother again. Could this happen to me?

A little later in the documentary, a list of human/animal “accidents” recorded at the park flashes on the screen, interspersed with video clips of a few of these incidents. As he watched, my older nephew asked why no one had stopped the interactions if this kind of thing kept happening. He pointed out that it probably wasn’t a good idea to put humans in a tank with predators like killer whales. This observation would also be consistent with that of an emotional suggestible: captive orca + human has resulted in human injury or death several times, so why wouldn’t it happen again?

I will address how hypnotic modalities likely influenced our emotional reactions to the documentary—and visitors’ responses to their experiences at ocean-theme parks—in my next blog.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Watching Blackfish, Part 1

 

                I watched Blackfish (again) today. My sister wanted to borrow my DVD to watch with her sons; it had been a few months since I last saw the documentary, so I invited them over and we saw it together. I did warn her that some parts of the film might be sad or traumatic for her youngest child to see; I was very proud of him when my sister told me that she had warned him about that, but he believed the movie was very important and he should see it. So, my mom, my sister, her kids and I all gathered around the TV to watch it. In a way, the movie is about the effect of captivity on extended (matriarchal) families, so I thought it was appropriate that we were all going to see it, together. We popped popcorn. My youngest nephew likes to add hard-shelled chocolates to the popcorn, so I dumped some left-over Cadbury mini-eggs into the mix. My oldest nephew—who is almost 15 and a genius with technology—helped to get the DVD going in my dad’s (very complicated) Blue-Ray/DVD player.

The film affected me as it has every time I have seen it: I felt sad, frustrated, angry and even hopeful for the fate and future of these magnificent animals. This time, I was able to watch Blackfish through the eyes of two youngsters who didn’t know anything about the film or the ongoing campaign to end captivity of dolphins and whales. Although my sister and her boys have seen orca in the wild, the kids have never seen them perform at a marine park.

                Within the first few minutes of the movie, the younger boy started to ask questions and react to what he was watching: a dark screen, and then audio from the 9-1-1 calls start coming in. Someone is requesting emergency assistance to Shamu Stadium because a female trainer is being attacked by a killer whale. “Wait. Did that guy say the whale just ate her?” My nephew wanted to know, his eyes big as saucers.

                Later, in another scene, trainers are shown interacting with some orca. Happy music is playing in the background; the audience is cheering, my nephew is smiling. “Mommy, can we go to SeaWorld?” I must have grimaced, because the next question he had was whether the park was a good or bad place for the animals to be living in. My sister replied, “Watch the movie and decide for yourself.”

                By the end of the movie, we had watched fishermen capture and separate orca calves from their families to become stars in shows at marine parks. We had listened to interviews with biologists and former trainers about behavior of captive versus wild orca. We heard the trainers’ anecdotes about their interactions with the orca they worked with and how they felt about that work then and now. We had watched video analyses of the grief reactions observed in a couple of captive female orca whose calves had been taken away from them to perform at other parks. We had seen clips of accidents in which some trainers emerged from the training pool with lacerations, broken limbs and almost drowned. My older nephew observed sardonically that a bloodied trainer who was shown smiling and waving into the camera was doing this because he was “happy to be alive.” He added, “It wasn’t very surprising that when you keep a predator in a very stressful situation around humans, that people get hurt!”

When images of Tilikum’s family tree flashed on the screen and indicated that this orca had sired more than half of the orca in SeaWorld’s collection, both of the boys said in unison, “That isn’t good.”

                Everyone in my home audience finally breathed a sigh of relief and smiled when several of the former trainers go whale-watching and finally see wild orca, swimming free in the ocean. I was interested and ultimately gratified to observe how my sister and her sons reacted to what they saw in the film. Of course, the questions I had had about their reactions as a hypnotherapist (and observer of human behavior) were: How and why did they react to Blackfish the way they did? Did anyone—and if so, who—influence these reactions?

                I will address these issues in my next blog.

               

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Body Language

 

                I am fascinated by a new television advertisement for mobile (cell) phone services. In the ad, a group of potential customers puts a representative of a major, national phone company through her paces as they ask about various communications features that the company offers. Viewers are led to infer that the prospective customers are real-estate agents, because each of them is professionally rand sports a tan blazer with a large emblem of a house on the left side of the jacket. The group pretty much verifies the identity of their vocation when one of the women says, “Let’s close!” and they all cross their arms over their chest and grin. But it is what the customers and the sales representative say with their bodies throughout the ad that is of greatest interest to me.

                Throughout the ad, the phone-company representative matches every physical and facial gesture that her prospective clients make. As a customer’s voice lilts at the end of a question, the salesperson uses a similar lilt in her response. When one person points a finger to make a point, the sales rep makes the same movement during her explanation. Someone steeples her fingers across her midsection; the sales rep makes the same gesture. Another person in the group nods and raises her eyebrows; so does she. When the camera pans back a little, viewers can see that the sales rep has even adopted a similar stance as she stands with the customers. At the end of the advertisement when one of the customers crosses her arms and announces they will all take (“close”) the deal, her colleagues look at her and immediately imitate the crossed-arms gesture.

                I like this ad because it is such a fabulous demonstration of how people mirror someone’s behavior in order to build rapport with someone. If your job entails selling products or services, you probably recognized every sales technique depicted in the advertisement I just described. But you don’t have to be a salesperson or a customer to identify with what went on. We mirror each other’s various behaviors—facial expressions, physical gestures, patterns of speech—all the time, often without realizing that we are doing it. These actions are like a “fast track” to building rapport with someone you would like to get to know better. People are naturally attracted to others who behave or seem to think like they do.

Think about a conversation you have had recently: Did you nod at some point during the conversation or lean forward in your seat as if to listen to your companion’s words even more closely? And did your companion then lean his or her body closer to yours, return your nod or mirror a hand movement that you were previously unaware of having made? Did you notice when your spouse or friend took a step forward, backward or sideways to mirror your stance, or raised or lowered his or her voice to match the tone of yours? These are examples of mirroring; and mirroring is a subconscious (or conscious) behavior that creates rapport and can facilitate social bonds by reinforcing similarity or familiarity between you. Rapport is an inherent and necessary component of every kind of relationship; it is the cornerstone upon which every relationship is built. It is only when we establish rapport with someone are we likely to explore the similarities and differences between us, and know whether we want to spend the time and energy to create a social, romantic or professional relationship with that person. Without rapport, we cannot come to trust, respect, like or communicate well with him or her, and a relationship—or a successful sale—is unlikely to result from the interaction.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

And Your Handwriting Says…

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

                As I wrote in my February 5, 2014 blog, “Handwriting Analysis,” I ask each of my clients to write a few sentences about why they are seeking hypnotherapy to help them achieve their vocational and avocational self-improvement goals. I do this as a way to find out what the person thinks or believes about his or her presenting issue. Also, as an ideomotor response, handwriting gives a sneak preview into the subconscious mind, including suggestibility (how we learn) and behaviors. Here are a few handwriting characteristics that I look at:

·         Baseline slant: This handwriting characteristic indicates the mood of the person at the time the handwriting sample is done. An upward slant would suggest that you tend to be optimistic. A downward slant suggests a more pessimistic attitude or possible depression, which would necessitate a referral to a licensed medical or psychological professional for further evaluation and/or treatment. A baseline that undulates like waves indicates moodiness, which could be associated with low blood sugar/hunger.

·         Connecting strokes: Writing samples whose letters are connected and flow together indicate someone who has a very methodical and systematic way of thinking. Writing samples that feature little or no connection between the letters could indicate someone who is very analytical and can intuit information or results from just a few pieces of information.

·         Margins: Do you start and/or finish writing at the edge of the page? The more room you leave on the right-hand margin of the page indicates that you tend to be generous with the amount of time and space you leave for other people. If you have wider margins on the left-hand margin of the page, you are more generous with yourself.

·         Pressure of the writing: I can tell by feeling the grooves on the reverse side of the page how much pressure (intent or emotion) the writer invested in writing this sample. Someone who is very passionate or emotional about the topic would tend to exert more pressure when writing. Conversely, areas of lighter pressure (no groove) could indicate less emotion, indifference or even physical weakness.

·         Signature: A person’s signature indicates how he or she would like to be seen by others. It is not necessarily indicative of who the person really is/what the person is really like. Someone whose signature matches or is most like the body of the writing tends to be very no-nonsense; “what you see is what you get.” The opposite would be true of an individual whose signature is very different from the rest of the writing.

·         Slant of letters: The degree of angle or slant of your letters indicates whether you tend to repress or express your emotions. Someone whose writing has a left-hand slant tends to hold in emotions whereas a person whose writing that slants to the right will express how he or she is feeling. The greater the degree of the slant indicates the degree to which emotions are repressed or expressed.

·         Zones: Each “zone” of writing indicates where the person puts the greatest emphasis or priority in his or her life. The upper zone is where thought/fantasy/analysis occurs. The middle zone concerns daily life, communication and responsibility. The lower zone is dedicated to fulfilling physical or materialistic needs: sex, clothes, shelter and money.

 

These are just a few of the indicators I look at when I analyze handwriting in my hypnotherapy practice. For more information about handwriting analysis, or if you would like to request an in-depth analysis of your own writing, please contact me via my website at www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014